To think she's gearing up to cancel?

That's not ok. I'd go round to her house if it was me. You do have a right to know what's going on as you need to prepare and prepare your DD for whatever the outcome is. Plus, you've paid her.

I wouldn’t let my 5year go away for a week with my own mother, who has known him since birth. Never mind someone I’ve known 2.5 years and see occasionally.

Well I think people should have to take a niceness test before being allowed to post on mumsnet.

Some proper nasty people on the threads today, enjoying being bitchy to people posting for advice.

that Is extremely rude of her!

I hope you hear back soon OP, her silence is telling you all you need to know but hold firm and make her cancel so you can try and get your money back.

Totally get why you accepted this holiday offer from a good friend who is also a good parent, these things can feel ok when they are a way away.

Can you see if she has read your message ?

OP are you genuinely comfortable with her going away for a week at such a young age?

So how would this test of suitability for being a mother/father work then?

Would everyone need to have it? If deemed unsuitable, what then?

Castration? Sterilisation?

Op, I think you've gotten a lot of stick here about not picking up the phone. Many of us with ADHD or other mental disorders have a very difficult time with phone conversations. I would much rather text or email than do a phone thing

I think your friend is taking the piss by not answering your texts though. You are a day and a half out from the trip and need to organisé packing for your child if things are going through.

I hope she answers you soon.

I had one very outgoing child who would have been perfectly happy going on a vacation with her friend and friends family. My other two would have been most unhappy. You know your daughter best.

Oh right, sorry I didn’t read the username and thought something like this happened in motherland! I was thinking oh I missed that episode!

I think OPs response was appropriate whether @Motherland2624 was talking about her or the other parent, for what it’s worth.

I think you’ve had enough of a bashing op, fwiw I’ve been in your shoes. I have a 6 year old and a very medically complex 2 year old, my 6 year old had her life turned upside down when ds arrived. She has missed out on so much. For extended hospital periods I initially tried to keep her busy, planned lots of trips and play dates with friends, I thought it would be good for her, it wasn’t she hates it and didn’t cope at all. She wanted to stay at home while dh worked from home and she stayed with him playing at home. It made her feel more secure. Your dd may be different I don’t know, but all I’m saying is don’t assume that because life is compromised at home it would be better/more enjoyable for her to go away. She may think she’s excited but actually struggle with the length of time away. If you can get the money back can you plan things to do as a family/you and her special afternoon or something? I totally get the guilt of the non special needs sibling missing out.

@ShillyShallySherbet I was quoting Motherland2624

F

Not too busy to post on social media though…

Unless this is tongue in cheek? What’s the motherland reference?

Good message OP.

If she works for the police is she busy in shift work or overtime? The police are under a LOT of pressure atm.

Indeed

It’s just so strange OP isn’t it, this seems totally out of character. I completely understand why you’ve thought this would be ok up until recently and it’s only due to no contact from her that it suddenly doesn’t seem such a good idea. I hope there’s a good explanation when/if she does get in touch. Even if you don’t want your DD to go I think you should keep communicating with her as if you’re of the impression she is going, to the point of tomorrow evening messaging saying “I haven’t heard from you but I’ll drop DD over at 9am tomorrow with all her stuff”. Then just turn up yourself and ask for your money back then take your daughter somewhere special for the day.

OP - we all have made decisions we regret later, if your gut is telling you your DD should go, then send her if that is still an option. Hopefully mum will call soon so your mind can be settled.

If she does back out id give her a swerve from now on. It's incredibly rude to drop someone in the shit last minute like that.

Side note op. Is your daughter supported by your local young carers? I empathise so much with what you say about her missing out on these things as she has a disabled sibling. My child in this situation did a 3 night trip with young Carer's and absolutely loved it. They wouldn't even take any money I had to nag to say well how do I donate to the charity in general then?!

Can you send her a new message OP. Tell her there are countless posters (me) who can't get on with their day until you get a proper answer.

Motherland might have been talking about you OP?