DH does not want a third

I always wanted three. Started trying at 22 and eventually got my 2 just before I was 30. Have never been on any contraception and have had a miscarriage since but pretty much accepted now that it's just going to be the two. I mean if it happened I'd be delighted but there is a definite feeling of 'oh that looks like hard work' when I'm with friends in the trenches of baby years now we are well into primary school.

I wanted another but DH said no, and I was resentful for a long time. But when I hit peri menopause, the thought of still having a teen at school with all the troubles to go through, I was glad I hadn’t had another.

OP I desperately wanted another almost as soon as DC2 was born! Crazy as it took a lot of courage to even have 2 children (,we found it all pretty hard!).

I'd say to DH, let's keep these baby clothes. I had talks with him, I felt I wouldn't be happy with just two, felt jealous of families with 3.

Those feelings have faded since DC2 has become a terrible 2s toddler and we are reliving teething, early wake ups, dropped naps, tantrums. Life feels full.

Who knows if those feelings will come back, they were fuelled by hormones and a very positive birth / bonding experience I think. Plus the special feeling of having a cute little baby.

I think some folk just love having babies - there's nothing wrong with that in itself, but you also have to remind yourself that you're actually having people not just babies. The babies become children who become teenagers - each stage brings it's own challenges. Also, having had 2 good pregnancis experiences does not mean you will continue to have problem free pregnancies. In addition, how would you feel if your third turned out to be twins (or triplets) etc? Not saying that would be inherently bad but all food for thought.

I initially wanted 4 but age & finances ruled that out!

I had two easy pregnancies & births so decided not to risk a third in case it wasn't as easy!

I was so unbelievably broody for a third literally as soon as I gave birth to my second. I felt so broody for over 12 months.

Husband wasn't (still isn't!) keen. I knew I wanted to leave a bigger gap between my second and hypothetical third, so I decided to put it out of my mind for a while.

Now my youngest is 18 months-ish. And I can tell you the broodiness has 99% gone 🤣 I honestly think it was just hormone related maybe.

There's a tiny part of me that wants a third, but most of me is now firmly saying "no thanks!"

I wanted a third as soon as I found out at my 20 week scan I was having a boy I wanted a girl. I would never now change him for the world I am glad I stuck at 2 what if my next pregnancy was hard or my baby was born poorly that’s what changed my mind. Now when we go out or holiday it’s 1 child each it just works for us. Not saying it will for you but as soon as my boys met each other I knew I needed nothing else and it’s just got stronger as they grow together ❤️

This is terrible advice

no regrets DS has been hard work and needed a lot of time and attention to get him to where he is about to start high school and I was able to give DD (15) what she needed but another would have spread me too thin.

3 is tricky with holidays and cars etc and I agree in your reasons it is all you not how it would impact the family

I only have one DD by choice, but I think that for ANY child to be planned, both parents have to be fully on board and wanting the child.

Your reasons sound selfish if I'm honest (love having young kids and babies around, wanting lots of grandchildren - what if none of your kids want kids? Are you going to try and persuade them as well?) if you love kids around why not become a childminder?

If your DH feels done at 2, why can't you both pour all your energy into the two you're very lucky to already have?

Just get ‘accidentally’ pregnant. Simples.

One thing to possibly consider is that with 3 children, it is pretty common for it to be 2 Vs 1 when they're playing.
So one child will at any given time potentially be feeling a little sad and left out.

Not my experience (I'm an only and very happy with it!) but this has been a common thread amongst friends who are one of 3 or who have 3 themselves.
So possibly just another thought to throw into the mix.

This is an awful thing to do to your family. You don’t know you’ll be done at four, don’t be ridiculous.

”I have explained to my husband” - no, what you have done is emotionally manipulated him.

Stop trying to force him to have children he doesn’t want. It’s not nice for the children or for him.

This is so lovely! It sounds like you’ve had a great experience which the polar opposite to what I read in here a lot of the time. I’d love to hear more about how you’ve managed to enjoy it so much and keep a good marriage! I wonder how much you think plenty of money and resources comes into it, as you mention that in your OP…?

I had a boy, then a girl and would have gone on having children. My 'sensible (?)' husband booked a vasectomy and I found I was expecting another baby a week before the operation.

So we have three children and six grandchildren (both my daughters have three children).

I can honestly say that 'having the time of my life' is when there are young children around. Naturally, they grow up and away and I'm very close to my adult children but I now adore my grandchildren on another level.

Posts like this are so rude. You can’t assume someone needs therapy because you can’t empathise or understand what the op is saying.

I had exactly the same. Broody when my oldest was one. Breastfeeding and picturing a second bedroom. Then when I had 2 it happened again when they were both toddlers. I was lucky dh was sort of on board to consider it.

I now have three and knew I was done. I love having 3 and have not regretted it.

I wanted a third DH didn’t and I am so glad we stuck with 2.

Both my teens have had serious health problems - nothing that could have been predicted. It has been a real struggle but with 2 of us and 2 of them we have managed.

When they are older the benefits are :
same number of hands as kids
you can choose any car you like
fitting in activities, if there was a clash then no problem as same number of adults as kids
easier to arrange 1-2-1 time
Easier to help with homework especially reading practise.

I’m very happy we stuck with 2 and the broodiness faded, though it resurfaced every so often.

I desperately wanted 4! We are both middle children so didn’t want 3. We had 2 as DH didn’t want more after 2. I was beyond devastated for a very long time. However..I’m so very glad we stopped at 2. My 2 girls never stop talking and running after them with dance etc, I don’t know how I’d stretch with more kids. They’re 18 and 15 and best friends and have been since day 1.

Give it time, your youngest is only 1 (is that just 1 or nearly 2?). It's a big shift from 1 to 2 and DH may worry what a 3rd would bring into the mix. You are supposed to wait a year to 18 months from giving birth to attempting to conceive anyway for yours and babies health.
My husband was keen for a 3rd, I was happy at 2. I had difficult deliveries with both, and did think about stopping after 1st, but I didn't want my oldest to be an only child. 2 just makes sense to me, 2 of us and 2 of them. Many weekends we have to 'divide and conquer' - they both often have birthday parties to go too, oldest is an athlete and also into drama and frequently performs on stage in various places so 1 of us is her 'taxi driver'. If we had 3, we would have to limit how much she can do to be fair to all 3. Your DH may have same concerns, how to meet differing needs of 3 children. And I know many people do this, but it's not a compromise I wanted to make

This is my feeling. I persuaded dh to have 3. I felt complete but it is very hard juggling three. Not so much the under 5 age but now they are 5-10 years I just don't have enough time to give them the individual attention I'd like. Obviously I live them all and when they are happy they are such a happy gang together. Two seems like a breeze though when one of them is not there for some reason!

I have 3, all teenagers now. It’s busy.
The benefits of 2 are that you can have one on one time without anyone being left out.

This! Babies are cheap, it’s from the teenage years that it gets really expensive!

@watermelonsugarr I have 3 and definitely want number 4. Husband would like to stop at 3 but I told him before we got married I wanted to have 4 (if possible) and he is warming to the idea.

can you say what age you are?

I have explained to my husband when it is something I want badly my fear is I would resent him if he stopped me. He understands this and knows we have the resources to have 4. I know I will be done at 4

So what happens when you have number three and you still don't feel "done"? You can't just keep having babies forever.

Your DH wasn't keen on having a second,he pretty much had told you,there wont be a third, suppose you managed it, what happens if you want a forth, and so on,22 kids and counting!! I was an only child which I absolutely hated,by the time I was a teenager, I wanted 6! Ironically I got pregnant at 18 in the 60s,you got married. I had awful pregnancies hospitalised with each one, traumatic labours, emergency and planned CS. Second DH,last one at 41 was a breeze,he didn't have DC,a second would have been lovely, menopause the following year. Your DC might not want DCs of their own. I would focus on some years enjoy what you have,or get a dog, that's light hearted! Do you work, have hobbies?