How much to give brother for honeymoon?

I’d go for the sake of your mum and in the hope that this might build some bridges.
£50 is fine, £100 if you can stretch to it. Definitely no more!

Depends on your finances but I'd suggest £150 . I'd go and I'd set out to enjoy myself. You will see family there.

£50 from both of you is mean unless you are particularly hard up then it's ok!

How much will it cost to go to the wedding? And what is your budget for it? Depends what £50 is worth in terms of your living costs and take home pay. There's a big difference in someone on NMW vs someone on £100k!

I budget £100 per wedding but if it costs a lot to get there then that's less for the present. The one where it was at a conference centre in the middle of nowhere requiring an expensive taxi from the nearest station didn't get a present at all!

I would go, especially if it would upset your mum if you didn't.

Why would anyone do this? If I heard that at a wedding I would think the guest was a right twat and would understand the lack of contact the groom had with his family.

Not acceptable to deliberately humiliate someone especially on their wedding day.

£50 is fine.

Depends on how much it's costing you to go too - travel, hotel especially if you are expected to stay at an expensive venue, etc I factor in. £50 is fine but equally £100 would be good too plus depends on your circumstances relative to his.

My gift tends to cover the cost of my plate so this would be around £75 per person depending where it was held. For a sibling it would be more.

And this idea that you should be paying for attendance by “covering your plate” is just bizarre.

I’d up to the wedding to avoid a big family upset.

I think £50 is more than generous in the circumstances.

i actually agree with @Mykingdom2024 that wedding gifts/money are outdated now. It was different when people were setting up home. I think it’s really cheeky to ask for money for a holiday. But in this case I’d just do what you suggest.

What have you done to keep the relationship going, because it doesn't read as if he's done anything as bad as not come to a wedding, you'll need to own your part in the relationship breakdown and family tension if you do this.

I'd also think carefully about your attitude to his partner. You might think she's "dictating his schedule," but it's just as likely he doesn't suggest anything and is lazy. She could just come from a family that like each other and actually make an effort to see each other.

I'd go to the wedding for your mum if nothing else. Hopefully she'll get a nice photo of you all together and I'm sure that will mean alot to her and it'll be nice to see the rest of the family I'm sure.

If two of you are going to the wedding I'd probably pay £100 if you can afford it.

I think £100 if you go as a couple. £50 if you go alone. Honestly I’d just go have a nice time catching up with other family. Pay my £100 and move on. If you don’t go it will be a thing that will be talked about for years.

This is you and your partner attend it will cost your brother over £100 and if you take DC more. I'd gift £100 if you and DH attend but an extra £50 if you take DC too.

£50 is absolutely enough. If you don't speak then you've only been invited out of family obligation. I think you should go, so as not to upset your wider family relationship but don't feel pressured to stay in expensive hotels instead of leaving a bit early if you're uncomfortable. And ignore people who talk about covering the cost of your plate. Imagine if you only had people come to your wedding who could afford to 'pay' for their plate. A wedding should be a celebration of love, not a transaction between the wealthy.

Give them an actual gift. A cherry blossom tree? A book about Japan. Something that shows you care. But not ££.

I'd give a minimum of £100 as he is your brother and if you don't go it may burn bridges he has invited you so be the bigger person as who knows what the future may bring

I think if you go you give £100

If you don't give nothing or a small token amount

Definitely go to the wedding.
Tell him you're upset due to lack of contact.
£50 is fine.

Why would you do that. It’s nasty!

This really articulates what I was thinking. If you can afford it and it's not a case where he's done some terrible thing to cause a big fall out, why burn your bridges?

yeah i don’t get this either. You’ve been invited. Gift what you feel you aren’t close £50 is fine in my eyes.

I think you should go to keep the peace. I’m sure they’ll be a baby soon and you don’t want to burn bridges.

Babies often bring families together.

Even framing this as “donations” is odd. This is a wedding gift. Instead of registering for toasters and towels, they have suggested gifts go towards the honeymoon fund. That doesn’t mean you are obligated to follow the request. You could still buy them a toaster if you really prefer.

the amount you give your sibling, should be based on what you can afford. I would at least give them what you would give a friend. Perhaps not your best friend, but a friend, not a Just a coworker.

not attending a sibling’s wedding can cause family rifts that last a lifetime. Unless attending is going to cause you actual hardship, then show up, play your role as dutiful sibling, and use it as an opportunity to visit with whatever people attending you do actually like.

Now I would donate to the Japan find on condition that I didn't have to sit through the picture torture!