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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think life in England must be much easier

245 replies

Heatethelastwaffle · 02/08/2024 20:21

I’m British but live abroad.
We are struggling a lot financially at the moment, life is hard, although the sun shines.
Where we are, if you fall into a hole, you’re pretty much screwed. Benefits exist, but you have to be very much on the breadline and even then it’s not enough to survive. There is a national health service, but it’s not great, so I’m having to pay out of my own money for private consultations. I have a chronic illness but no benefits whatsoever exist, my Dd is potentially suffering from Pans/pandas, they haven’t heard of it where we are, I’ve been to three separate Drs who had no idea what I’m talking about, There’s no help with rent, with housing, with bills and so on if you fall on hard times.

I want to go home, it may be depressing in some ways in England but you’re secure.

OP posts:
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StandingSideBySide · 08/10/2025 01:03

LBFseBrom · 18/10/2024 05:49

If someone retires and returns to the UK they will be paying tax on their pensions so will be contributing - maybe for twenty years or more. I see nothing wrong with that.

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If they have private pensions
Not if they don’t

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/10/2025 21:23

SpaceRaiders · 02/08/2024 21:32

I know years back quite a number of countries wouldn’t allow dual citizenship therefore expats would need to renounce their British citizenship before being granted citizenship there. It’s not straightforward coming back and you have to go through a fairly long expensive process to regain citizenship. My brother is going through this atm.

Op there’s no shame in returning if things haven’t worked out as well as you’d have hoped. But in all honesty life here isn’t any better. Your children will likely have better long term prospects abroad than here.

Edited

Surely, if you’ve been entitled to a British passport, you will always be entitled to one, no matter what other nationality you might have gained previously. You could have publicly thrown your British passport on to an official bonfire, with the other country’s officials standing by - it’d make no difference.

tuvamoodyson · 19/10/2024 06:51

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/08/2024 08:00

Don’t see the issue here - £50 a week is more than enough to buy food and toiletries for one person. This is very generous compared to other countries

Food, toiletries, clothes, shoes, any household goods you might need (having arrived with nothing), any bus fares/transport costs, phone use (essential to have some access to internet given everything is online now). If you can do all that on £50 a week I take my hat off to you.

To be fair, how often are you buying shoes, toiletries, clothes? Who does that on a weekly basis? What household goods do you need in a hostel/hotel room that you need immediately on arrival?

FluffyLemonClouds · 18/10/2024 10:43

@LBFseBrom

Did I say there was anything wrong about doing that ? In fact I don't blame them.

LBFseBrom · 18/10/2024 05:49

FluffyLemonClouds · 05/08/2024 10:06

The OP wants health care . I've known people come back from living in America for many years to retire in the UK for the NHS care.

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If someone retires and returns to the UK they will be paying tax on their pensions so will be contributing - maybe for twenty years or more. I see nothing wrong with that.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/10/2024 13:26

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/08/2024 21:52

I never knew that! I genuinely thought you could always go back to the country of your birth.

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My younger sister has lived in the US for over 40 years but could come back and live in the U.K. tomorrow if she wanted to. Despite taking US citizenship after her American dh died (it was beneficial for tax reasons) she retained her British passport and in fact the person officiating at the ceremony said he knew that a good many people (Brits or others) would do the same. Even though officially it’s not allowed.

She certainly was never required to formally renounce her U.K. citizenship. I’m not sure how you would even do that so that it’d stop you from re-applying for a Uk passport later - if you wanted to.

mathanxiety · 08/08/2024 15:36

It's still not great to have so many children living in such a state of disadvantage.

Notamum12345577 · 05/08/2024 23:19

Snacksgalore · 05/08/2024 17:53

Not according to the goverments own data

lordslibrary.parliament.uk/child-poverty-statistics-causes-and-the-uks-policy-response/#:~:text=It%20added%20that%20this%20meant,from%2036%25%20in%202011%2F12

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That data you have supplied says relative poverty?

Snacksgalore · 05/08/2024 17:53

Notamum12345577 · 04/08/2024 21:10

A 3rd of uk kids are not in absolute poverty. That figure is for relative poverty (which in a G7 country like ours is terrible).

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Not according to the goverments own data

lordslibrary.parliament.uk/child-poverty-statistics-causes-and-the-uks-policy-response/#:~:text=It%20added%20that%20this%20meant,from%2036%25%20in%202011%2F12

FluffyLemonClouds · 05/08/2024 10:06

Gillypie23 · 02/08/2024 21:25

You've not lived in the UK for years . Not paid into the system. You want to come back to claim benefits. Cheek of it.

The OP wants health care . I've known people come back from living in America for many years to retire in the UK for the NHS care.

Waitresstime · 05/08/2024 09:35

Sounds exactly like the U.K except add sh-t weather into the mix. I’d move abroad like a shot if I could.

Gogogo12345 · 05/08/2024 08:03

Crystallizedring · 04/08/2024 22:27

No there are not jobs everywhere. If there was she'd have one by now. She's been looking and there are no jobs in what she's trained in and very few other jobs. So although she's applied for anything that comes up she can't even get an interview and like I said she's lucky to find a job a fortnight to apply for.

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Must be area dependent. My DS has had 3 different jobs over last few years and each one been a " step up" as such and he is still at uni.

Gogogo12345 · 05/08/2024 08:01

PaminaMozart · 04/08/2024 23:15

Which is what I was referring to when I mentioned exceptions...

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Well there will be a hell of a lot of " exceptions"

It was done for the exact reason to stop people having British citizenship merely through being born here.

PaminaMozart · 04/08/2024 23:15

Gogogo12345 · 04/08/2024 22:31

Simply being born in UK doesn't give you citizenship and hasn't since1983@

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Which is what I was referring to when I mentioned exceptions...

Gogogo12345 · 04/08/2024 22:34

iamtheblcksheep · 03/08/2024 01:13

I am so sick of people like you. How many years have you not lived here? Why do you expect to come back and get help for your child when people that have paid into the system are waiting months for treatment.

Stay where you are and figure it out.

Enough people in UK paid in sweetFA. and take what they can

Gogogo12345 · 04/08/2024 22:31

PaminaMozart · 02/08/2024 21:49

This doesn't make any sense. If someone is born in the UK, they would normally be a British citizen.

There are a few exceptions, e.g. if the parents were foreigners on visas that do not entitle them to pass on citizenship. However, if your friend grew up in the UK, I think she would have qualified for citizenship at some point.

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Simply being born in UK doesn't give you citizenship and hasn't since1983@

Crystallizedring · 04/08/2024 22:27

iamtheblcksheep · 03/08/2024 09:22

I could make a few phone calls on Monday and he’d have a job by lunchtime. There are thousands of jobs. If he’s struggling for work there are factories and farms all screaming out for workers. When I was setting up businesses and needed extra cash, I worked days in my own businesses and evenings in factories. I floated in and out of factories and could get a job the same day when I needed it. This wasn’t too many years ago.

There are jobs if you are willing to do anything.

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No there are not jobs everywhere. If there was she'd have one by now. She's been looking and there are no jobs in what she's trained in and very few other jobs. So although she's applied for anything that comes up she can't even get an interview and like I said she's lucky to find a job a fortnight to apply for.

ThistleTits · 04/08/2024 22:19

Lilysgoneshopping · 02/08/2024 21:58

The docked barge was good enough for the oil riggers

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For 2 weeks at a time and they were well paid to do so.

ThistleTits · 04/08/2024 22:15

@Heatethelastwaffle you might not be entitled to any benefits, you have been away "a long time" and not made any contributions. A friend of mine returned from Australia and couldn't get any housing benefit or any other for that matter. Her son couldn't take a college place, he'd been offered. They ended up going back to Australia. I'm not sure the grass is all that green here.

Bebespain · 04/08/2024 21:58

Oh the ignorance! Would it be news to some that you can still pay NI contributions while abroad?. It's completely legal to do so too....who'da thought it!

Angelil · 04/08/2024 21:44

Hummingbird75 · 03/08/2024 08:44

I lived overseas for a few years op, and I know exactly what you mean. Much of Europe live in poverty, but because people fly in and fly out of lovely hotels and sparkling swimming pools and they simply do not see the reality behind the sunny climate.

The standard of living is extremely basic, health care is way behind what we would expect here, and schooling too in some places. There is real hand to mouth living and benefits and your housing is your problem, living on the breadline in 40c heat is no fun let me tell you.

People moan here, but we offer housing, healthcare, schooling, benefits and an incredible array of support but it is all taken for granted.

This is just SO wide of the mark and in no way applies to all of Europe.

Angelil · 04/08/2024 21:37

YABVVVU. I have lived in France and the Netherlands (9 years then currently 7 years) and both have FAR better lifestyles and systems than the U.K. You would literally have to pay me a LOT of money to go back to Britain now, and even then…
In short, you’re deluded. Try another country first.

Notamum12345577 · 04/08/2024 21:13

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/08/2024 21:52

I never knew that! I genuinely thought you could always go back to the country of your birth.

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Depends. In the UK you don’t get citizenship by birth, like they do in the USA. One of your parents needs to be a citizen in the UK

gizatwirl · 04/08/2024 21:11

Hummingbird75 · 04/08/2024 12:34

Ummm drum roll. Some people actually WORK!
Yes that thing called earning a living.
We were working there - and believe me I left as soon as it was humanly possible because of well, exactly what you describe, boozy brunches, ladies nights, tacky as hell. Not a fan. It was one dimensional. I am glad you are enjoying it though.

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My husband spent 100k of OUR MONEY launching his business and establishing it here. None of it was easy,it was a huge risk but I believed in him and we both put our money where our mouths were. Please don't talk to me about work,we've worked our backsides off to get where we are now without the fully comped expat package that I'm sure you availed yourself of before you ran away back to UK. People like you are ten a penny here.

Notamum12345577 · 04/08/2024 21:10

Snacksgalore · 02/08/2024 20:29

Then come home.

But a third of kids in the UK live in absolute policy, at my GP surgery the wait is 6 weeks to see a GP and last year 268 people died every week due to delays in A and E.

A 3rd of uk kids are not in absolute poverty. That figure is for relative poverty (which in a G7 country like ours is terrible).