To dismiss a guy pursuing me, because he likes metal music?

Do you have other things in common? Tv, films, books, hobbies? Shared cultural references?

I would give him a chance.

Men who like metal are usually some of the nicest, most decent and respectful blokes out there. Something to think about.

Oooh tough one!

I would usually be the first to say things like this don’t matter but actually this could be a deal breaker for me.

He’s not going to want your music playing and you’re not going to want his playing.

I would try and think of a compromise - a genre that you both find ok to listen to at home and then only listen to your own tastes when home alone or in the car alone etc?

When did people become so disposable? It's fair enough to not like someone for whatever reason and not pursue a relationship. But for something as petty as musical taste, if that's the only reason, then you can't like them that much in the first place.
I've always been pursued by men and had lots of choice in who I date, but it's rare that you find someone who is entirely perfect down to small things like musical taste. He might not like her choice in tv show, movies, comedy etc. Most people can get past that. If you want your prospective partner to have the exact same things you do, you're a control freak.

This.

I used to frequent metal clubs, and if you had any trouble, then you would get the back up from all the men in the club (and the trouble often came from people not into the music, but just wanted to get pissed in a club).
If you fell over in a mosh pit, several pairs of hands would be picking you up.
You fall over in a mainstream club... you will be getting filmed and put on SM.

Well that’s pretty narrow minded of you isn’t it really.

Theres a whole ocean of things to like or not like about someone, but if music taste is top of your list then I’m sure thats great for you.

It depends how important music is to you.

I like metal/goth/industrial. My DP lives in the 70s music wise. But we get on in other ways and that is what matters.

Death metal literally has vocals that sound like someone growling, screaming, shouting, often to the point that you can't easily distinguish the words. It's not "singing" in the usual sense at all. It's very much a specific taste thing and musically I find it difficult personally when there isn't a melodic vocal. I like the guitar aspects of it though. Plenty of people like it for its rhythmical nature though.

In fact, it is important as politics to me and similarly I could not live with someone who did not have the same political outlook as I did.

Metal heads are the nicest guys I ever met and their female friends tend to be welcoming. Just my experience though!

No she really isn't.

Music is really important to her just like it is to me and I really couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone who didn't have a similar taste in music to me.

You’re being silly op

Yeah that's weird. My husband likes metal. It doesn't mean I have to listen to it a lot. He has a lot of great qualities that I value in a partner, so dismissing him because of this would be stupid. We have other musical tastes and other things in common.

Depends what kind of metal.

I dont like death metal at all, its so noisy and shouty I find it overwhelming. Standard rock/metal like Metallica etc is fine.

I think you need to ask him more about his sub genre preferences as there are many different types of metal so harder than others.

Sorry I was dictating and I meant to say I cannot wear headphones!

For me, a joint joint appreciation music is so important. We listen to and talk about music all the time.

Just the other day the BBC had an evening about Prince, with a concert etc. It was really good watching it together with my husband.

I think it depends how important music is to you.

I remember that my mother-in-law was not interested in music at all, in which case it wouldn't matter what her husband liked.

But for me, music is such a major part of my life that I want to be able to share it with someone.

I can absolutely understand when you say it sounds demonic. I once (stupidly) went to a club with a lovely friend who loves that sort of music and it scared the crap out of me because it sounded like the devil was screeching commands (very loudly) through the speakers and everyone was going wild! We didn't stay long as I think she could feel my fear. She was a lovely girl though and apart from her music taste we had a lot in common and are still friends 25 years later.

Ita pretty weird to write off a whole genre of music, especially when you like so many different kinds, as for it sounding "demonic"... 🤨

Metal heads are some of the nicest people out there ime, I would date this guy in a heart beat.

You sound pretty set in your ways though, so maybe leave him for someone who won't write him off so easily. You can date/not date for any reason you choose.

Ah ok, I would struggle with the really thrash/death metal kind of vocals, and I wouldn't want to listen to it or go to concerts. But I don't think it would put me off if I otherwise liked the guy, as long as he understood that I wouldn't ever be into that kind of music.

Its up to you to stick him in the bin if you want to. You’re a grown woman with personal agency. But if that’s the worst thing about him it seems a tad of an overreaction. Maybe he thinks your music taste is shit.

Other people's musical tastes are like other people's farts: try to convince me all you like but I'm not going to enjoy them

Some of his stuff I can listen to. Just. And he sat and listened to Taylor Swift’s new album I blasted out on repeat much to his delight! But I’m glad I pushed through those initial thoughts.

You have loving music in common. I've read in here that some people don't even like music (unfathomable to me). I would try not to let it put you off.

You do you. My husband loves metal, is generous in every aspect of his personality, so kind, a wonderful, equal parent and great fun. He also loves Taylor.

You could be writing off the perfect fit in favour of what?

YANBU. Wouldn't be for me either!