To dismiss a guy pursuing me, because he likes metal music?

This made me smile! DP who I've lived with for 14 years is a massive metal head! I've tried and tried to like it but ugh it's just so loud and awful! Hopefully when you get to know this guy he'll have other redeeming features.

Urgh....folk off, folk head!

I have to say that a folk fan/player (they all seem to be both, presumably because there are so few of them!) would be a dealbreaker for me....its so sodding dull! I really hate bland pop but, and this is saying something for me, I would rather listen to Coldplay [shudders] than folk!

I think that the reason they are (mostly) kind and empathetic is because if they are having a bad day or are pissed off and angry, they put on the loud shouty musc. They sing/shout along to it, get the anger out in a loud but harmless way and then everything is fine . Its kind of like singing therapy. I have only once seen a fight in a metal pub and that was when a bunch of "trendies" (as they were known then in the early 90's...you know the ones, baggy jeans and floppy hair) came in and started fronting up to prove they were hard. Got their arses literally thrown out by the bikers (who love the music but usually dont drink as they are on bikes) and when they started throwing punches it was them who were arrested not our guys!

I met a lovely lad (32yo!) on my MA course - creative writing - widely read, had written a fantasy novel. Play in a HM band often up at the arena in Birmingham. Not my style of music, but when he met a girl mid course i couldn’t help but think what a lucky girl she was. He was such a sweetheart. Their FB page is full of their travels and historic days out. Am glad she wasn’t off-put by his music tastes.

Now my future BiL… banjo and ukulele player in a folk band. 🤣

If you do choose to end the relationship, please be honest with him as to why so the poor guy knows it’s not him, it’s you.

Did you see the school orchestra (think they may have been Australian....) playing Enter Sandman?! It was AMAZING!! The girl on the flute was totally rocking out! Its on Youtube if you havent.

Music taste is what brought us together and has kept us together, been with my husband 14 years now, 2 kids. Music taste is very important to me, saying that he likes metal and I don't but there's lots of music we both love!

Put me in for £20 worth!

My experience is that guys into metal are sensitive and empathetic. The music is rage at the injustice of the world 😂

I think it's because they're outsiders during their teen years, and bond over being left out and treated meanly. When they find their metal tribe they're so damn happy about it!

Bloody hell, that's not a dealbreaker!! But wait it out there for Mr Perfect then, because you aren't going to find him!!

Most people I know who are into metal are very down to earth and gentle - have no idea why.

Are you sure you listen to classical and you're not a closet death metal / grindcore fan? Otherwise how do you know of lyrics asking people to kill themselves?

Out of interest what band/song are you referring to?

YANBU. I couldn't be with someone who loved music and had to listen to it all the time. I'm not into music at all so the way you feel is no different to how I'd hate having music on a lot!

It's true!

I've been to meta gigs alone and felt totally safe. One guy barged me and a biiiig farmer dude standing next to me squared right up to him 😁

My exH was into metal. And I mean, REALLY into metal. Not just a bit of Metallica either, but Slayer, Celtic Frost, Sepultura, Dokken.... utter bilge, IMHO. He used to play it really loudly when he was drunk or upset. It was like living with an overgrown 15 year old boy. I would never go out with a metal head again.

I wouldn't be too questioning too soon. Many heavy metal fan men are very gentle, very lovely, have most of the attraction qualities that could mean a happy 25+ year marriage.

sounds demonic and yes , it is - take some of their lyrics ( there was a band asking people to commit suicide or go to hell) .

second , not sure. Do what you want with him. I personally couldnt live with someone lsitening 80% of his home time the same music and doing nothing else. My husband and I listen to classic or just music, usually on our headphones and not as a form of religious metal worship.

Sorry, not helpful enough.

No, but not liking Abba is not the same as listening to metal 80% of the time is it?

Music is such a big part of my life that it would cause so many problems. Similar to if someone had polar opposite political views.

If everything was perfect except for polar opposite political views, I would not go out with them because it would cause a lot of problems later on.

I guess it depends how important it is for either of you. I also hate metal and wouldn’t want to listen to it ever. If my partner listened in his own wouldn’t bother me but yeah it could be an issue long term couldn’t it?

So if you found someone attractive, had huge sexual chemistry, he was solvent, kind, generous, funny, hard working etc etc you wouldn't give him a chance because he didn't like Abba?

I think there's a queue for Metal Mickey's number so he won't be stuck for a date 😁

But it depends how important music is to you.

It is such a big part of my life that I really couldn't be with somone who didnt' share my taste in music.