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AIBU?

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Neighbours using our drive as their path

158 replies

Peedoff24 · 02/08/2024 19:19

We live in adjoining terraces, both with driveways. All other houses in our terrace have walls or hedges between them. We don’t but there is a decorative border type thing to delineate them. So it’s very obvious when you step off their property into ours.

They fit 2 cars onto their driveway but this is only possible because we don’t have a wall. They need to open their car door across our drive to be able to get in and out. This I don’t mind.

However, because it’s a squeeze to get between their cars they and their visitors, deliveries etc use our drive as a pathway to get to their front door. It’s got to the point that people literally step out of their door, step over the decorative stone thingy and then walk across our drive to the street.

We have a ring doorbell so get alerted every time somebody does this. It’s now got to the point that our drive is used as their pathway even when they only have one car parked and therefore plenty of space on their drive.

These are neighbours that don’t acknowledge my presence if we see each other since I complained when they had builders dumping rubbish on part of our garden.

WIBU and petty to go and buy some trellis and put it up to stop them from doing this? It would also mean they’d have to rethink their parking!

OP posts:
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ButterCrackers · 04/08/2024 15:26

Regain your exclusive use of your own property by putting up a fence. They have not bothered to say that they know they are walking on your path as well as delivery people. They should have acknowledged this and asked if it was ok. They could have offered to power wash it twice a year or something else helpful.

MabelLeaf · 04/08/2024 12:29

XMissPlacedX · 04/08/2024 12:22

I would post a letter saying that you wish to put a fence up to stop them and their visitors walking on your property, but that you are aware that they will no longer be able to keep two cars on the drive .

Tell them that unless they stop it then that's what you will do. They can have time them to get over their cockiness / anger and think rationally about it.

I definitely wouldn't because you are firing across the bow and there is more chance of falling out with them.

If you put up a fence, especially if you do a few other home improvements at the same time, then they might just keep the status quo of ignoring OP.

I've lived somewhere with parking disputes before and it's absolutely awful coming home every night to somewhere you are supposed to feel relaxed and feeling tense because you don't know what a neighbour is going to do.

XMissPlacedX · 04/08/2024 12:22

I would post a letter saying that you wish to put a fence up to stop them and their visitors walking on your property, but that you are aware that they will no longer be able to keep two cars on the drive .

Tell them that unless they stop it then that's what you will do. They can have time them to get over their cockiness / anger and think rationally about it.

WigglyVonWaggly · 04/08/2024 12:03

Obviously you should be able to do what the hell you like but I agree with you about putting a similar fence on both sides - so it’s not a case of you showing very visibly that only the neighbours on one one side are pissing you off - is a good idea. You can make it look pretty - trellis, baskets, bird feeder etc - so it doesn’t look purely like a perimeter fence to keep CFs off. Even though that’s exactly what it is.

MoonGeek · 04/08/2024 11:57

I think there is a rule that if you have been using a path for a certain number of years without objection then it becomes a right of way and they can prevent you putting up the fence. So I would block it sooner rather than later.

justpeachy1234 · 04/08/2024 11:56

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti

So OP says.... There is always 2 sides to every story

justpeachy1234 · 04/08/2024 11:54

Noshowlomo · 04/08/2024 11:12

@justpeachy1234 how is it being petty to have clear boundaries on your own land? Is every fence or hedge or wall someone being petty?

Obviously it depends on the situation. If I built the biggest garden wall possible, just to be petty and it blocked all my neighbours sun, most neighbours would be pretty pissed off. And Iv seen posts where people have done this. It completely ruins the others enjoyment of their home.

If a few people stepping on your drive is your biggest problem, life is pretty good 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm surprised people would have the energy to rock the boat.

The amount of post on here about neighbour disputes, surely people would learn. Don't expect to drop a match and not get burnt. There will be repercussions. If OP doesn't care, then go for it.

NorthernSpirit · 04/08/2024 11:46

The minute they stopped acknowledging you after you (rightly) complained about their builders dumping rubbish on your garden - I would of stopped this entitled barshittery.

Ask them to stop using your garden as an add on to there’s, if they can’t respect that boundary get a fence.

People’s sense of entitlement amazes me.

Peedoff24 · 04/08/2024 11:39

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:26

Why can't they park one car on the road? Is it restricted parking?

They’d have to buy a permit.

OP posts:
YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:26

Why can't they park one car on the road? Is it restricted parking?

LlynTegid · 04/08/2024 11:26

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:22

If you want to maintain good neighbours then I'd do nothing. Are they really hurting you by stepping on your land?

Good neighbours are great to have. Those who bear grudges and act unreasonably is no grounds for being a doormat and accepting their unreasonable behaviour.

Don't fall for that excuse to be walked all over so to speak.

YabaJaba · 04/08/2024 11:22

If you want to maintain good neighbours then I'd do nothing. Are they really hurting you by stepping on your land?

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 04/08/2024 11:20

justpeachy1234 · 04/08/2024 11:09

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti

Obviously I can't control delivery drivers. But very often if Amazon/ the postman are delivering to us, they are also delivering to our neighbour at the same time...

Our guest would walk on our drive. It would be very rare that anyone walks across theirs. If our kids run across, I always tell them not to.

I will add that our neighbours do actually walk across our drive sometimes too. And they have had workmen straddling our boundary etc. Obviously I don't care, but there is always 2 sides to every story. I'm sure OP isn't the person neighbour.

If/ when our neighbours add a fence just to be petty, they will definitely get petty behaviour back. Let's hope OP never needs anything from their neighbours. Consideration and kindness work 2 ways

So it sounds like you’re quite a lot more reasonable than the OP’s neighbours.

PotatoPie111 · 04/08/2024 11:19

It does remind of when we moved into our house. Our drives aren’t large and can only fit a small car on it, which was all we had.
When we moved in our neighbour approached us to remove the fence between us on the drive so they could fit their massive car on (and we wouldn’t then) and it would give more room for their grandkids to play (both have big gardens).
we said no and they were pissed for years about it.

Noshowlomo · 04/08/2024 11:12

@justpeachy1234 how is it being petty to have clear boundaries on your own land? Is every fence or hedge or wall someone being petty?

justpeachy1234 · 04/08/2024 11:09

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti

Obviously I can't control delivery drivers. But very often if Amazon/ the postman are delivering to us, they are also delivering to our neighbour at the same time...

Our guest would walk on our drive. It would be very rare that anyone walks across theirs. If our kids run across, I always tell them not to.

I will add that our neighbours do actually walk across our drive sometimes too. And they have had workmen straddling our boundary etc. Obviously I don't care, but there is always 2 sides to every story. I'm sure OP isn't the person neighbour.

If/ when our neighbours add a fence just to be petty, they will definitely get petty behaviour back. Let's hope OP never needs anything from their neighbours. Consideration and kindness work 2 ways

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 04/08/2024 07:44

justpeachy1234 · 03/08/2024 18:36

@Bargainacious

Actually the complete opposite, we are great neighbours. We are quiet and considerate. We just don't have a huge drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ we try and keep our children safe by not parking on a busy road. I wish I could afford a massive house with a huge drive, but I can't.

We cut down some trees blocking their light! Is that good enough for you??

I would really consider how much you want to war with your neighbours OP. It's fine for all you keyboard warriors, but OP will be left with a very frosty situation. There are plenty of things neighbours can reasonably do that will destroy the enjoyment of your home. Are you willing to see what the consequences are?

What would you do if your neighbours told you that your visitors / delivery drivers were using their drive, and asked you to stop that happening?

CosmicDaisyChain · 03/08/2024 21:57

The fact they have already infringed your property and continue doing so without acknowledging you would be more than enough for me. I wouldn't hesitate to put a fence or wall there. I would not care how petty they thought it was.

Goldcushions2 · 03/08/2024 21:55

WiddlinDiddlin · 03/08/2024 17:25

I'd do both sides and if you can afford it, any other general 'tarting up the front of the house' work so its far less obviously all about them and their irritating behaviour.

Even (if you have the acting skills necessary) knock on and warn them in advance...

'Just to let you know, we've finally saved enough to tidy up the front so we'll be doing some work outside for a few days, blah blah and installing the fence'...

So again... its NOT about them... you're NOT a mean neighbour, in fact you're LOVELY and polite and giving them advanced notice of work...

Etc etc. head tilt. irritating smile

This.
Do as much as you can to look like a big job.
They are cheeky fxxkers.
You do not owe them air space.

OhIdoliketobebesidetheseaside32 · 03/08/2024 21:52

Peedoff24 · 02/08/2024 23:10

Terrible diagram attached.

Yep! That would piss me off too!

Plmnki · 03/08/2024 21:35

Fence, fence, fence, fence, fence, fence.

did I mention that a fence would stop this?

def consider a fence.

ChockysChimichanga · 03/08/2024 21:19

justpeachy1234 · 03/08/2024 18:36

@Bargainacious

Actually the complete opposite, we are great neighbours. We are quiet and considerate. We just don't have a huge drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ we try and keep our children safe by not parking on a busy road. I wish I could afford a massive house with a huge drive, but I can't.

We cut down some trees blocking their light! Is that good enough for you??

I would really consider how much you want to war with your neighbours OP. It's fine for all you keyboard warriors, but OP will be left with a very frosty situation. There are plenty of things neighbours can reasonably do that will destroy the enjoyment of your home. Are you willing to see what the consequences are?

Using the fact you have children to justify something - check.

Passive-aggressively pointing out you can’t afford something due to your lifestyle choices - check.

Making a big deal about a sacrifice you’ve made for your neighbours without providing any context - check.

Making a veiled threat if neighbours choose to stop you taking the piss - check.

Peedoff24 · 03/08/2024 19:11

I’m not worried that my neighbours will knock a fence down. They are inconsiderate but not the type to wilfully damage our property.

OP posts:
justpeachy1234 · 03/08/2024 18:36

@Bargainacious

Actually the complete opposite, we are great neighbours. We are quiet and considerate. We just don't have a huge drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ we try and keep our children safe by not parking on a busy road. I wish I could afford a massive house with a huge drive, but I can't.

We cut down some trees blocking their light! Is that good enough for you??

I would really consider how much you want to war with your neighbours OP. It's fine for all you keyboard warriors, but OP will be left with a very frosty situation. There are plenty of things neighbours can reasonably do that will destroy the enjoyment of your home. Are you willing to see what the consequences are?

seethingmess · 03/08/2024 18:01

Continuing the short wall between the houses seems like the most permanent solution. It's not your issue if they've bought a house with a drive that doesn't fit two cars. It's not up to you to provide extra space for them as overflow.