Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you judge - age?

34 replies

mummyat23 · 02/08/2024 16:53

Posting on here in the hope people will be honest.

I don’t know if I’m going to struggle making mum friends as I can see that people are understandably waiting a lot longer these days to have children. My cousin has recently had a baby and said she found herself to be young in groups at 29, so ‘no offence’ but I will probably stick out.

Our baby is due just before I turn 23. I’m newly married to my DH (25), we own our home and both earn decently - by no means mega bucks but we do okay and have respectable careers. Baby planned and we are so excited, but equally understand how life changing it’s going to be!

Do you think my cousin is right?

OP posts:
NewPinkJacket · 02/08/2024 17:03

You're 22 years old, married, earn a decent wage in a respectable career and own your own home.

What is it you're worried about them judging you for?

BluPeony · 02/08/2024 17:01

My local children's centre had separate baby groups for young mums - anyone under 25 - which I was too old to attend at 31. That being said there was a range of ages at the regular group so I think it really depends.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 02/08/2024 17:01

I was an older mum (37) and thought I’d be old at the NHS baby group I was assigned to but there was a real mix of ages. The friends I made were similar to my age though.

I wouldn’t judge a younger mum at all but I have found I have different cultural points of reference (bands, films etc) and sometimes this is an issue, sometimes not. I don’t like going clubbing with my younger mum friends though as I just don’t like their music.

JabbaTheBeachHut · 02/08/2024 17:00

Right about what?

That there'll be women there that are older than you?

Turophilic · 02/08/2024 16:59

In a middle class area, yes, you will be significantly younger than most first time parents. In some other areas, you’ll just be slightly on the young side.

I wouldn’t fret over it either way. It’s an observation, not a judgement.

sleekcat · 02/08/2024 16:58

Not really. It will be obvious that you are younger but that doesn't mean you can't make friends. I have friends in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s! I can socialise with all of these people and enjoy talking with them all. Sometimes the main barrier to friendship is believing people think a certain way about you when it's probably not true.

Ace56 · 02/08/2024 16:56

Totally depends on your area I think. I’m in quite a ‘naice’ London suburb and the average age for first baby is about 35. At 23 most people around here are just out of uni, starting their careers so you would be hard pressed to find a 23 year old with a child. However that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to make friends with older women!

Allfur · 02/08/2024 16:56

No not at all

cardibach · 02/08/2024 16:56

Your cousin said you would stand out for being younger, nit tha5 anyone would judge. The average age for first pregnancy is 30.9, so yes, you will be younger than most. 5hat doesn’t mean anyone will judge though, surely? The only thing people in these groups have in common usually is the baby, so I don’t think age makes much difference to whether you get in with them.