Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prudish or rightly offended

61 replies

Winedanddined · 02/08/2024 15:21

Moved into a new team at work and not too sure what to do. It is a professional role and a shared office. Most of the team are great but one member makes explicit sexual references and comments all the time, anything innocent gets twisted. The others ignore or humour him, but I find it really uncomfortable and it seems I am the only one. What would you do.

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 02/08/2024 15:33

@Winedanddined Speak to HD. Give examples. Just because others don’t, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. It’s not acceptable.

We noticed a “works outing” at racing this week. One noisy man was making lewd body movements. Just not pleasant. I noticed some people in the group moving away from him. Just unpleasant to see. So speak to HR. If management has tolerated this, they are wrong to do so. Don’t speak the man. You know how that would end up,

Doggymummar · 02/08/2024 15:33

I'm telling you one more time, next stop HR.

Girasole02 · 02/08/2024 15:33

'Did you just say something really inappropriate out loud?

Original poster
Winedanddined · 02/08/2024 15:32

It is pretty pathetic to listen to and any attempt to shut it down seems to spur him on.

OP posts:
Clueless2024 · 02/08/2024 15:32

God I hate people like that. He probably finds himself hilarious. I'd call him out, each & every time.

cupcaske123 · 02/08/2024 15:31

Say 'That's enough with the sexual innuendos. I don't want to hear it.' If he continues start a formal process beginning with keeping a diary.

KreedKafer · 02/08/2024 15:31

YANBU - this isn't acceptable at work. I also suspect that you aren't the only person who doesn't like it. People might be ignoring or humouring him, but they aren't following suit with similar 'jokes' of their own, from what you've said? So it's not actually a thing that everyone joins in with, just a thing that they tolerate.

Are there any other women on the team?

Cattery · 02/08/2024 15:30

How dated. He sounds like some sort of 70s throwback.

Sunshineafterthehail · 02/08/2024 15:29

Ask them if they are 15 and at school or an adult at work?

Tagyoureit · 02/08/2024 15:24

Well either front it out and tell him to shut up or complain to HR with documented notes of what he has said and to who.

Not really sure how a grown man in this day and age thinks this appropriate office behaviour though.

heavenisaplaceonearth · 02/08/2024 15:23

just say “I really hate endless sex jokes and innuendo, can you stop?”

Swipe left for the next trending thread