Am I being too precious about baby nap timings at nursery?

I imagine your toddler will start to transition to one nap if all the others are. I wouldn't stress. You can do differently for a bit longer on your days if you want.

When my little one started nursery at 13 months, I requested 2 naps and they happily obliged. But she quite quickly started just doing 1 nap at nursery and then just had an early bedtime in the evenings. She didn’t drop to one nap at home until she was about 17 months.

I wouldn’t actively train your child at home to sleep at times convenient for nursery. But I’d just ask nursery to put your child down for a nap when they’re tired. You might find the child sleeps different times at nursery than for you and might sleep in later the next day after a big day at nursery…. Or nap on the way home. They might take bumper naps on weekend days with you to catch up. Either way the child and you will probably adapt.

This. It's part of going to nursery.

A childminder might be able to meet your needs better.

You can just ignore them and your toddler will nap when he wants. Mine naturally adapted to nursery rhythm on the days they attend.

I wouldn’t worry too much - you baby will get into a nursery routine that may not be exactly the same as the routine at home. And they probably aren’t far off dropping that nap anyway?

Hopefully the earlier afternoon nap will mean they’re good and tired for an early bed time. I know MN wisdom is “sleep begets sleep” but that never worked for my two - they were much better if they hadn’t slept too long in the PM

IME babies tend to go down to one nap at around 14 months. I think you'll find the transition will be easier than you expect.

I think if you chose a childcare setting like that, you have to accept they can’t follow every child’s exact routine. If you want that; you need to use a nanny or child minder where there’s fewer kids.

I wouldn't worry about this - honestly. I was religious with nap times at home with both of mine, and yet couldn't control it at nursery and they were both absolutely fine.

They all seem to just follow the schedule there. Babies that can't nap in a cot or without BF to sleep suddenly just do it! It's pretty maddening at times! My kids both could only nap in a pitch black dark room, with white noise in a cot (and still require this now!) - never ever fell asleep in car or pram or anything. At nursery they slept on the floor on a mat - it's crazy.

Your LO will drop the morning nap soon anyway. I helped move the dial on this a bit and capped morning nap to 30mins (9:30-10) so that they were sleepy for a better, fuller nap at 12:45/1ish. This meant nursery post-lunch nap wasn't much different for them.

The reality is, you can’t always keep children awake. We have children in reception at school that still fall alseep in the afternoon. We just leave them to sleep while others around them play.

If it helps, my DC dropped to 1 nap a day just before 14 months

I would also expect a nursery to be flexible about naps for ones that young. Ours has a separate sleep room for those still on two naps, and those on one go down together in the toddler room after lunch. That said, I would be open to trying the suggested timings, as a longer wake window before bed does work well for many children.

I worried about nursery changing my nap schedule but actually theirs was a lot better than mine (which I didn’t realise beforehand) and her night time sleep really improved, she now wakes up later.
They did a morning nap 9-10 and then afternoon at 12.45/1 when I was doing it later like you. I worried she wouldn’t fall asleep at that time, but she did! You may be pleasantly surprised.

This was the same with us. At 13 months little one would still be in the baby room, which I found baby room very flexible with naps and followed the child’s routine and understood all the children were different. They didn’t move till the toddler room until 18 months and even that was flexible as to when the staff and us felt DS (2) was ready - there was a few things they had to meet to move. One was dropping down to one midday nap and the other was walking independently. When my DS moved to the toddler room at 18 months they all went down after lunch around 12:30/1 and that was fine as it was his only nap of the day by then. It’s the same at his new preschool.

However, you may find your little one starts to drop their nap anyway OP. Mine DS was about 14 months when he started dropping his.

They will find their own rythme at nursery, if they need a nap in the morning they will do.
My eldest is a big sleeper too, he dropped his morning nap at nursery around 15 months but continued to have 2 naps at home (sometime 3!) on weekends past 2 year old. Even now at 2.7 he sleeps 3h at home for his afternoon nap but only 1.5h at nursery.

He was very tired and cranky in the evenings for a few months after nursery for a few months, and we moved bed time a bit earlier until it regulated itself a few months later.

At DS1’s nursery, they didn’t go into the toddler room until 16-18 months. Partly to allow flexibility around naps - most little ones are still napping twice at 13 months. They had to be on 1 nap to move.

I would look for a different nursery. One of mine was still napping twice a day at 2. Her nursery worked around it fine. I would want a nursery that was child led in regards to sleep and not one size fits all.

My DD started nursery at 11 months when she still had two naps and I left the nursery to manage her naps. Most of the days she only took one nap there and fell asleep for 15-30min on the way home. Then awake for dinner and bedtime routine and we went to bed once she was ready for night.

How old is she now? 13 months is when they start to drop that nap anyway, and it was a pretty quick transition in my experience. Mine was just 14 months and one day just refused to nap in the morning anymore. (Vivid memories of walking the local streets during Covid.)

Mine started at 11 months and did have that morning nap after a bottle for the first month or so, but after that was more interested in playing and didn't want to nap. We changed our schedule to match theirs as it seemed easiest. Days at home they can catch up on sleep if needed.

When DD moved to the toddler room she skipped the morning nap there but not at home.

At home she would nap 9-10.30 and 1.30-3pm. No way I would train her at home when she clearly still needed it and had no problem with one routine at nursery and one at home.

I let her decide on her own when to skip naps, she was 17 months when she lost the morning one and did then 2 full hours in the afternoon.

I found my DC naturally fell into one nap a day once in childcare; it was about the right age and they didn’t want to miss out on all that was going on when other children weren’t napping.

When is she starting nursery? Have you got time to gradually adjust her nap pattern?