There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

Screens are bad because they rot the brain. We all know this. Screens are rotting adult brains, imagine what they are doing to children

"Childcentric" 🤣 um that's what you signed up for when you decided to have a kid or two. YABVVU

I understand it to a certain extent, especially as a treat perhaps at the end of the meal when the parents want to stay chatting for a bit, but when I was growing up I was expected to cope with boredom and when my dds were growing up they were expected to get by with the crayons and paper tablecloths!

My 18 and 20 year old both pt work in hospitality and they have commented on how sad it is to serve families where the children are plugged into iPads and incapable of interacting with their own families let alone the waiting staff. Both said that they are so glad they weren’t brought up like that and that there’s no way they’ll be letting their kids do it either. So perhaps there is some hope 😆

How often and for how long are your children sitting in restaurants that it’s enough screen time to cause damage to them?

The conversation is about screens at the table in restaurants- that’s less than an average of an hour a week for all the children I know, hardly enough to damage their future relationships and employment.

I do think it’s quite funny that the ‘Sancti-mummies’ think that only their own little darlings will have grow into young people capable of having a civilised meal. My kids have had the occasional iPad, colouring book, bits of Lego etc and they’ve still grown into young people capable of good behaviour in restaurants. In fact as pre-teens and teens they are now regularly complimented on their exemplary behaviour. Plus, we managed many a meal out when they were younger that was quite leisurely and pleasant because the children were all quietly occupied. Perhaps we’re just better parents 😉

I absolutely judge any parent that gives their child an iPad at mealtimes. If they are getting bored and restless, make up games to play - 20 questions, ispy, hangman. It’s even worse when they are actually eating, or parents are, and the iPads are out. This is the time for talking about your day, or making plans for tomorrow.

It is taking an easy way out, and it is lazy parenting.

Children have to learn that it’s ok to be bored. Parents have to parent. Chill out and have quiet time once they are in bed.

Oh I got it...
Yes, correct that was my post..
But you're not even anywhere near.

It was in answer to the poster that assumes sarcastically, parents of well behaved DC are in some way superior.

But you still haven't contributed in any way to what I was asking, which was why parents of DC that behave have to be regarded to as perfect parents of perfectly behaved children.
Just added your own answer which again is of no context to what my post was referring to.

All you've done is turn my post in one about DC that have autism...
Which is the way most of these yay or nay to devices posts end up, so no surprise there.

So, I could say the same about you regarding not getting it.
But that's possibly not what you want to read, so crack on.

I mean I don’t judge others and if you want to do screens then you do you but comparing screens to stickers and the like is just nonsense. There’s a great deal of well publicised medical evidence regarding the addictive and damaging nature of over use of screens. I’ve never seen anyone addicted to a sticker book but I know several teens and young adults with severe screen addiction that does impact their life, relationships, employment, etc.

@cheerfulcharlie "Having your child learn how to wait in a restaurant for food and engage and socialise with others at their table?

Yes it might be difficult -and not the most relaxing for a while for the parents- but eventually you will end up with kids who become teens and adults who know how to behave in a socially acceptable way and more pleasant to spend a meal out with. We put in hard work when they were younger and it's paid off now they are a bit older, coming up to tweens. I see their friends/ our friends' kids of a similar age who were always thrust an ipad behave very differently in restaurants"

Just back from a holiday meal with Ds18.Despite being allowed to play Angry Birds silently on the iPad from age 5 when he had finished his chicken nuggets ( yes doubly shit parents as he was a fussy eater) and we wanted to actually savour our main course later than 6pm, he managed to converse cheerfully for 3 courses tonight, has got good grades and is off to uni in September,so we can't have ruined him entirely with our lazy parenting.

No entertainment for the kids whatsoever? I'd have struggled with that going to a restaurant as a kid, it was years before iPads but I was always allowed to take a book or a comic or even a doll when I was little. Mind you, I do have (undiagnosed at the time) ADHD. 😄

Having your child learn how to wait in a restaurant for food and engage and socialise with others at their table?

Yes it might be difficult -and not the most relaxing for a while for the parents- but eventually you will end up with kids who become teens and adults who know how to behave in a socially acceptable way and more pleasant to spend a meal out with. We put in hard work when they were younger and it's paid off now they are a bit older, coming up to tweens. I see their friends/ our friends' kids of a similar age who were always thrust an ipad behave very differently in restaurants.

(I'm not saying this is possible for all ND children)

In case you've forgotten, this was your comment (the words chosen by yourself!) that I originally replied to:

Do many women pop out "perfectly behaved kids" at birth?
Or is there a bit more involved by way of these "perfect parents of MN" contributing somewhat during their up bringing to having well behaved children as they grow older.

In other words you suggested a child's behaviour was related to the effort/contribution the parents put in.

When I suggested you were fortunate if you thought a child's behaviour was entirely due to parenting, I was referring especially to children with additional needs, how parenting them is often more challenging.

If you haven't ever had to experience or even think about that, then , yes, you're fortunate imho. What you had said was actually an insult to SN parents (in case you still don't get it).

You replied there was nothing fortunate about it!??
At that point you introduced your additional point which I didn't comment on, but sought to further expand on my reply to your original comment.

Unfortunately you still didn't get it.
Hope it's clear now.

And the advantage of that is?

I wouldn't have thought of it as an advantage. It's just what you do at meal times. It's how to behave in restaurants.

Sitting and waiting, chatting, looking around. It's all a part of being in a restaurant.

A sense of being a superior parent

And the advantage of that is?

No worries. :-)

Sorry OP. It's no toys, books or gadgets at the dinner table in our house - and especially in a restaurant.

Personally I think it's fine to judge silently. I judge people silently for all sorts of things but I wouldn't dream of making any overt comment or sign, or indeed doing anything except smiling pleasantly.

I judge people who play noisy games of "I spy!" with their kids on trains hugely. I inwardly wince and roll my eyes. But I realise that's a me problem.

I also think "ffs!" when people give toddlers crayons on trains, planes and in restaurants and they roll everywhere and people nearby have to be asked to return them. But again, a me problem. So I smile warmly and make a jolly comment to the toddler.

Apologies, I've just realised I misinterpreted your post! I retract my comment - I actually agree re all the above.

All this rubbish about 'we didn't have all this back in the 80s, 90s, 1700s' because parenting back then without screens was much better...

I was a child in the 90s, and I was addicted to my Gameboy. Not really any different.

Also weren't those decades notorious for parents sitting and smoking at the dinner table, feeding their kids turkey twizzlers and meatballs out of a tin?

A little screen time and the parent police of 2024 are out in force.
Oh wait, that's just Mumsnet.

If you judge someone for letting their child watch a bit of tablet at a restaurant table for a few minutes of peace and quiet, you're the problem, not them.
How do you know how much that child watches it through the day? You don't, so if you do judge, you're being a judgemental, snobby twat and need to get a life.

What's any of that got to do with me asking why it's assumed here on MN that if your DC doesn't need a device it's acceptable to accuse them of being a perfect parent with perfectly behaved children?

I haven't mentioned anything about any additional needs or any other ailments in any of my posts, so why are you starting your reply to me with
so you think?

Are you trying to tell me what I should think....Or just projecting your own thoughts but claiming its what I think.

I've written exactly what I think using the words chosen by myself....I don't need you to tell me otherwise.

Especially if they're 'European'.

The Anxious Generation - How the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness by Jonathan Haidt

As I dont know you op or what a fabulous child centred day your kids have had, yes if I saw your kids with ipads at a dinner table id be judgy - but I wouldnt care, not my kids.
As long as they are using earphones/headphones or have the volume switched off........crack on. Better that than them running about shrieking etc.
Would I have my kids playing with ipads at a dinner table (regardless of what they've been up to during the day), nope. We always have a chat at the dinner table, maybe a little game/drawing if waiting for food.

Exactly.

People managed without screens at the table because they had no choice. It is a choice now.

Just like people managed washing their clothes by hand but now we have washing machines.

Technology advances.