There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

I think screens while eating is a step too far. Though my SIL did this at home because dc wouldn’t eat and the screen distracted from the fussiness round food. But that was an unusual case,

I saw this a lot while staying in an all inclusive hotel recently. I could understand if there was a really long wait on food but you walk in, fill up your plate and start eating. The children were watching their IPads while eating which I’m definitely going full on judgy mcjudgerpants on!

I’m surprised at some of the answers here. My 2 year old will after 20 min of playing with any kind of toys want to get up and run around the restaurant followed by a meltdown when told no. A phone or tablet buys me an extra 10 min, so if lucky I can actually make a start at my meal in that time. I will use any screens at my disposal to buy me an extra 10 min and hopefully finish my meal. And I would absolutely pay to see how other parents teach their 2 year olds how to handle boredom.

‘For longer than 1 or 2 hours…’ Erm…I couldn’t sit at a dinner table in a restaurant for that long! My DH and I would have packed up and gone long before that - and we don’t even have kids.

Nah, you’re not being unreasonable, OP, for giving them a screen if you’re wanting to sit in the restaurant for longer than that…they’d have been bored silly and when they’re frazzled from holiday stuff, it’s definitely the right call as far as I’m concerned. But aware others have valid concerns over screen time etc

Never had to use tablets or iPads at the table. It’s just rude. You are there to eat and hold conversation, not have your kids hooked up to technology. They learn that they have to sit and behave, eat their meals and be sociable whilst at the table. With younger ones, crayons and colouring books are perfect but you have to be prepared for them to get get bored. Tablets aren’t the answer. See it every year, kids sat like droids at the table absolutely lifeless.

We don't let them have tablets at a restaurant as it's not what I want them to think is ok in restaurants (we put our phones away too), but I really don't care what others do if they're using headphones! I do let mine sometimes eat dinner at home with their iPads (we do mainly eat together without but not always).

One of mine is autistic and I do other things for her in a different way to the 'norm' so I don't judge - this just isn't something she needs so we don't.

I’m with you 😊 as toddlers my kids wouldn’t sit still for toffee so yh tablets came into play. Congratulations to all the other parents that managed to keep toddlers still when having meals out 👏

That is what I find really perplexing in all this. I don’t think overuse of screens is good for children if they aren’t getting plenty of time to develop their imagination and to play independently of the crutch of a device. But that doesn’t mean the odd half hour is going to derail their development.

I did say ‘sometimes’. Sometimes, you can’t tell at all.

Well if they are doing their sticker books then they are hardly engaging. Frankly I don’t see the difference between sticker books or looking at a screen. The important thing is it keeps them quiet for a while. Doesn’t disturb other diners and lets their parents decompress.

YABU. But who cares if strangers judge you?

Sometimes it does without a doubt, and when you have a child with additional needs I think you often pick up on signs that others may also have additional needs. However it is far far from conclusive and a lot of the time you can’t tell unless you are living the situation

Sometimes it stands out a mile.

I mean I wouldn’t but I wouldn’t judge others for doing it.

Parents who don’t rely on screens are always demeaned - loud parenting, admire themselves etc.
Deflection.

Fuck’em. Who gives a toss what random strangers think? My DS and partner are the most fantastic parents but they allow iPads etc so they can have a breather.

Could save the NHS a fortune in diagnosis and cut the waiting lists right down! Just sit them in a restaurant and sniff ‘em out.

Not only must they never miss an opportunity to interact with their children, they must never miss an opportunity to be (despised) admired for their loud parenting.

And they never, NEVER resort to screens. Not even when it means everyone else in a restaurant has to endure them grappling with tired dc. Because ultimately wasting any opportunity for their dc to be “interacted with” is far more important than their dc learning to slot discreetly into an environment and not be the Main Attraction for all diners. I don’t love screens but it’s better than making everyone else suck up your parenting travails.

You wouldn’t believe the magical powers of the A Mumsnetter- they make a small chicken last a week for a family of 4, they can levitate so an accident on the high street never means being late for school, and they can always smell a SEN kid at 30 paces.

There's no need to be defensive. I just always think it's interesting (but sadly not surprising) that even in 2024 there are still people who think you can tell if a child has additional needs by looking at them.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone claim they can tell if a child has SEN by watching how their parents act in a restaurant though, that's a new one on me.

They will never learn if you shove earphones on them and plonk screens in front of them. 'What an upbringing!'

This is such a silly argument.

My ds10 sat happily through brunch doing a crossword with me today- and he has always had free access to screens.

You think he can’t have learned social skills or table manners because I let him have a screen if he wants it, but I know he has social skills and table manners because I live with him and see it!

Parents who only have toddlers still so haven’t seen the results of their parenting over time yet, or who never allowed screens at the table and therefore can’t know what their children would be like if they did, shouldn’t insist they know what is or isn’t possible- you have no evidence on which to base that statement.

I really cannot be bothered but I do hope someone gets stuck into you over this comment.

No you can’t. You may like to think that your judgemental little bubble lets you know what’s going on in other families but it really doesn’t.

you have no idea who has additional needs, or who has another reason for using a tablet during that meal.

I personally won’t do screens at the table even in situations like this (which sounds like a good time to chill out and watch some tv) because then my children would beg for them every time.

I couldn’t give a flying crap what anyone else does.

So you weren’t being unreasonable at all, the person judging you was.