There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

So 1. I wasn't purely talking about a restaurant setting, OP describes a fully child-centric day, and my comment was regarding the fact that life does not need to revolve around the child. And 2. Colouring/drawing is a creative outlet. And from that article - "But the truth is that it’s okay for kids to be bored. In fact, boredom helps kids develop valuable skills, says clinical psychologist Stephanie Lee, PsyD. For starters, it helps kids build tolerance of less-than-ideal experiences. “Boredom might not be super distressing,” she explains, “but it’s not fun. Life requires us to manage our frustrations and regulate our emotions when things aren’t going our way, and boredom is a great way to teach that skill.” Learning how to sit and have a conversation over dinner is a super valuable skill! And they should learn that not everything is about them. God, if more people taught that from age 2 we might not have so many pain in the arse 25 year olds entering the workplace.

It’s completely ok and everyone used to think this up until quite recently.

I do have tablets for my kids but there are very strict rules that they are only allowed on holidays (where we are away from home) and even then never at mealtimes because that’s when we talk to each other. However my kids are not the type to want to run around like crazy so I don’t judge people who need to do it to make their kids be still, I’m just thankful they aren’t letting them disrupt other people. I’d assume it was a last resort for them and the kids had some behaviour issues.

2 hours on an iPad?! Really?!

They do benefit. They learn to communicate, they learn patience, they observe their surroundings, they’ll learn setting appropriate behaviour, they may notice something they wouldn’t if staring at a screen.

Children continuously learn through banal, small moments.

Staring mindlessly at cartoons is totally different to colouring and reading books. Both of the latter help develop writing and literacy skills, and by definition tend to involve more parental engagement. That's why they do both activities at nursery and school rather than letting the kids watch things all day.

Children also tend to be less absorbed in them too, so more likely to engage in conversation and their surroundings.

Do what you want as long as they aren't disturbing others with the noise (you aren't as they have headphones

The other parent probably had just fought off their child wanting to use a screen. People have to bring up their children to not want everything others have or do.

I don’t let mine use them, apparently using screens, the blink rate decreases significantly. Normally, humans blink around 15-20 times per minute, but this rate can drop to 5-7 times per minute during screen use.
I have a problem with dry eyes, I don’t want my young children to have that

@moomoomouseey

Nothing wrong with it at all. Young children are hard work sometimes, even if they are relatively good or easy children. My 2 were honestly good kids, but very chatty and energetic, and it could be a tad overwhelming occasionally. Often we would play with them, draw with them, play board games, go for walks, go swimming, go to the woods, to the beach etc etc etc.

But every now and again, we'd feel a bit overwhelmed, and would pop them in front of the TV to watch a movie, OR let them play video games. (While me and DH chilled for a couple of hours!)

So, popping an ipad in a child's hands to entertain them for an hour or two (whilst you get a little break) is fine.

Oh, give over

Why so much judgement towards children using screens at the table when so many adults do the same thing? It's not what I want for my child, I personally don't use my phone at dinner. But I wouldn't judge anyone else.

Boredom benefits kids in situations where they can go off and make their own entertainment. That means an afternoon at home in the school holidays or an activity-free weekend or an evening after school, when they can go and play or be creative or find things to do that haven't been organised for them. That's when boredom gives kids an outlet for independence and creativity.

It doesn't mean that boredom is good for children when they aren't able, or aren't allowed, to find a way of alleviating it - such as when they need to sit still and stay quiet in a restaurant while other people are eating, or when they're in the waiting room at the doctors, or on a plane. In those sorts of situations, when there's nothing to do or look at, a child benefits from some entertainment - in the same way that any adult would.

well, it IS bad parenting, and totally inappropriate, but at least it is quiet

I wouldn’t be bothered about anyone else doing it, as long as headphones are being used. I don’t do it (DC now 7&4) and never have. We don’t have iPads or tablets so they wouldn’t think to ask for them.
We have been taking them out to eat since they were babies. Hard and a lot less enjoyable when they were small toddlers (think constant colouring / drawing / reading and no adult conversation!) but for the last year or so it has been fine. They will happily sit for 3 courses, as long as we have some pens / paper etc. We are all chatting / playing games (hangman, eye spy) etc as a family between courses.
I’m very aware this would likely be different if either of my children were ND, and know how useful iPads etc are for friends kids who need to regulate / take some time out.

No child benefits from sitting bored at a table. At home it might encourage them to find ways to amuse themselves but in a restaurant just sitting there bored and hungry they're more likely just to be silly/miserable/loud/crying or trying to run off.

I would 100% rather see a child behaving well at a restaurant with an ipad with headphones, then ones where they're running round the restaurant, crying when they're caught, refusing to sit still, shouting and making a fuss.

I never went on a plane or to a restaurant as a child in the 70's/80's, it's a completely different world now and ipads can be a god send when you need a child to sit quietly and just wait.

I don’t care what people chose to do as long as the sound is off or the kids are wearing headphones. iPads with the sound on in a restaurant, plane etc is completely unacceptable and very rude to other guests.

I'm with the judgmental parents!!!

People like to judge, I wouldn’t take too much notice. We generally don’t allow screens at the table, however have done in certain circumstances. Like driving back from holiday, we were all knackered and had to stop for food halfway back. Kids were allowed then, I’m sure some people would have judged. One of the DCs has autism though so I’ve probably developed quite a thick skin when it comes to the opinions of strangers.

100% agree. Meals are for conversations, children need to learn how to sit still and behave even if they are a bit bored. At least you gave them headphones though. I get really annoyed when you can hear what the child is watching.

Excellent point from Rainbowsponge

"
I’ve been convinced for a while now a lot of teen ‘anxiety’ is just screen withdrawal when they’re sat in school and can’t just use their phone as much as they want. And there’s emerging research they’re strongly correlate"

Personally we don't use tablets when eating out but we are lucky that our dcs seem quite happy without one. Eating out is a bit of a novelty as we don't do it that often. Our holidays are entirely child-centred and we prefer to relax in a home environment doing self catering (but often a takeaway) after a busy day of activities.

There is nothing wrong with this occasionally especially if the children have finished their food. I don't agree with ipads while eating.

I did see one really disturbing incident involving an ipad when sitting at a table in the airport. A couple sitting next to us with a child around 3yrs old proceeded to remove the ipad to let the child concentrate on his food. You could have have herad his screaming a mile away. I felt so sorry for him. He was obviously addicted as it happened every time the parents intervened. Eventually they were so embarrassed they left him to it. Needless to say they'd have had one hungry child on the plane and no doubt a repeat of the same scenario. There is absolutely no excuse to allow ipads to become an addiction.

Fine, except I have genuinely never actually seen anyone doing this with headphones. Invariably they think it is ok to have the volume up.

I honestly couldn't give a shit so long as your kids are not being disruptive.

I would definitely judge.