There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

give over what! The Op refers to "educational" 😂there is nothing educational about a 3 year old playing with an ipad, everyone knows that, And what a total waste of a day to have those lovely memories obliterated by inane screen noise, rather than consolidated by being involved with an adult in talking it over.

If I was you I would be wise to take advice from parents who have raised their children in the 60's, 70's and 80's you will only get the same response..."My children didn't have iPads they had to use their imagination." They can't relate because we have entered a new age of technology and no matter how much you try it's part of their life. I have three children two of which were born in the early 2000's and one who is 11 months old. So much has changed and I have all these wonderful ideas about how I will limit screen time with my son and how I won't allow him to do this and do that. Reality is technology is a huge part of our lives we as parents have to set boundaries and limitations. I see nothing wrong with your children using their iPad after a fun filled day, they deserve to relax and take a moment and as much as we would like them to have a book instead of an iPad it's just not realistic. That same person who judged you would still have judged you if your kids were talking too loud or running around the restaurant because they are bored. Today too many have too much to say on parenting, do what's necessary and right for your children and bugger the Judge Judy's.

I have a close friend who is a lovely, engaged and fun parent. She spends her days doing crafts and making dens in the park with her kids. They're great kids, funny, polite, lively and clever. But sometimes her 3 yo will play a game or watch a video on her phone for a bit.

It's not either or.

I wouldn’t judge, but equally I’d never do it (parent of 5 here).
We’d chose plays for kids they could play safely in sight, sit them on laps and talk or find childcare

When I saw a 3 yr old child very obviously addicted to the screen with his parents highly embarrassed due to his screaming when they tried to remove it so he could concentrate in his food I'm sorry but I did judge. This was simply because I felt so sorry for the wee guy. His face was blue with temper & thats not exaggerating & no he wasnt ND. His mother leaned over and apologised to me saying he's been watching cartooons on it since he was 9 months old & I can't get him off it. I was speechless.

I don’t see the issue - drawing/colouring or reading a book, or playing solitaire with a pack of cards were normal after-dinner restaurant activities for kids in the 70s/80s… all they are doing on ipads is: drawing, colouring, reading or playing a game. With less mess.

It’s like in the 1800s when they thought that women would be corrupted by books, or the 70’s when everyone said TV would rot our brains (might agree with that some days).

"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." [Louisa M Alcott]

Suggesting there is no difference between children colouring and using screens is absurd.

watch a group of children colouring, sometimes they’re engrossed, sometimes they chat with each other, sometimes they ask mum for a drink or show dad what they’ve drawn, they swap crayons, argue, negotiate, praise their sibling or tell the they’re rubbish.

children on screens with headphones are locked in their own world.

I only judge the cunts with no headphones.

As long as the kids have headphones I'm really don't care/notice

I find it really annoying through when kids are allowed to watch videos with volume - a family came and set on next table in a fairly empty pub and immedietly gave (not tiny) kids a tablet to watch cartoons with the sound on - I was very 'why???' about that.

Also when I see kids that want to interact with parents but are redirected to their tablet, I find that sad.

I can't remember going out for a lot of meals when I was a kid, and then mostly it was places where kids could go outside and play (did same kind of places with my kids). I am however from the era where I was left in the car while my Dad went in the pub, that was boring!

If you’re two, you’re going to need a bit of training to learn to sit still for ~1.5hours at a table.

So some of that time might be playing with toys, some might be eating, some might be colouring etc. Why not a bit of time looking at a cartoon, if it helps you to sit still?

Children don’t learn to behave perfectly in restaurants from day one.

I think you need to be realistic about the expectations about what a very young child in particular is able to engage in.

Personal choice. If noone at the table is communicating or looking at each other maybe that’s where judgement came from. But it’s your business. Not theirs. When one of mine was a toddler he couldn’t sit still in a restaurant, we had to speed eat. So I get it. Mine are older and I would save the screens for in the room for chill time.

Also, lots and lots of families don't have a table at home to sit at. They don't have the space for family dinners. People work, have other commitments and don't sit down together.

I kind of think it's unfair on kids to expect them to know how to behave in a situation they're so rarely in.

So? What business is it of yours if other parents give a child an electronic device to entertain them? Not your circus luv.

My 2 yo has never seen an ipad, my 7 yo knows not to ask for a mobile/tablet at the table.

That's my decision on how I parent my children though, nothing to do with anyone else. It shouldn't be anything to do with anyone else how you parent yours.

All the LOLz.

I don't particularly enjoy spending time with kids constantly on phones/tablets. I went out with my friend and her nieces and they barely lifted their heads or spoke.

But sometimes all I want to do is mindlessly scroll on my phone if I'm tired or pissed off.

It's nice seeing families eat together at a table and enjoy spending time with each other. But that's not always possible for loads of reasons.

So yeah I try not to judge because we don't know them or their kids.

No headphones and fucking Bluey blasting out and I'll give you stink eye which you won't notice because you're probably an ignorant shit.

We didn’t tend to do that on holiday with our 2 year old, we brought and played with toys at the table (which who knows was maybe more annoying for fellow diners). However, we did have a 2 hour break at the hotel in the afternoon for lunch followed by a movie for downtime for us all, plus DD went to bed early so we could have a drink and chat on the terrace.

I don’t judge anyone for it though, not much different than our use of screen time for down time at the apartment.

Flights are a completely different story. Screens/books/headphones are actively encouraged as a way to entertain yourself. It's just not comparable.

"Children need to learn to sit still and behave"

Well yes but also no.

My DD has ADHD and ASD. Sometimes over dinner after a long day she finds sitting still hard so her earphones and phone/ipad enables her to decompress and focus.

Would I think it's ok fine dining place? No, but I don't expect kids in that kind of place anyway.

So bored of these judgey parents with perfect, NT and compliant kids.

I judge. See also toddlers in buggy's with parents phone so they can be ignored. I know we didn't have these things when mine were young but I also didn't have feral children carrying on in restaurants.

Ours don’t do it much and have eaten out a lot ( and at some fairly upmarket places too) and they do learn to behave properly by not having an alternative. Quite honestly, I think we have also been quite lucky in our DC’s temperaments so I don’t get too judgy.

BUT I do recall a young waiter ( late teens/ early twenties?) saying to us very unctuously “can I just say how nice it is to see for once dc at a restaurant sitting up properly and not on a device.” And I do recall thinking “just you wait whippersnapper: the theory and the reality of parenting are two different things.”

Yes really, really really!

Nothing wrong with it now and again.

Are you OK @Rainbowsponge???

You seem really quite annoyed that other people parent differently to you.

I don’t think sitting in front of a screen in restaurant teaches them how to sit without a screen in a restaurant, that’s all. They’re different skills. It takes practice to wait patiently, sit still, engage in conversation, etc., and I think screens interfere with those things.

What has changed and when?

Before I was a parent I judged other parents for using screen time whilst in a restaurant.

Not obviously, but I always said I wouldn’t do it.

And I haven’t yet, but I will be taking a iPad on my toddlers first flight this month just in case becuase I’d much rather him sit quietly watching his iPad than scream and cry becuase he does not sit still. I’d get many more stares from that I can assure you!

I think either way people would judge. Kids causing havoc, moaning or trying to get off their seats - people stare and judge. Kids watching iPad - people stare and judge.