There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

TV viewing is not being out at a restaurant.

I honestly don’t think about what other families are doing while dining out because I’m more concentrated on my own.

If the kids aren’t being loud, disruptive, or causing havoc, others should mind their business and concentrate on their own meals and family.

If a child that is not yours is on a tablet and silent, why is it necessary to comment or judge? It’s a snapshot of someone’s life. Same people who moan about such things wouldn’t like if others judge them and are rarely perfect parents themselves.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

So what did judgy judgerpants actually say to you? If anything...

I don't judge people on whether they let their DC use devices when out in a public space, that's their choice.

I do however wonder what makes them think that it's acceptable that any diners sat within ear shot should have to, or even wants to listen to the noise coming from these devices when they too just want a nice meal out.

Should the diners have to move mid meal, not dine out if they're not as excepting that some can't use ear/head phones, or just never dine out.

Would those that let their DC use devices at volume be offended if diners refused a table next to them due to device noise.

@Anotherloverholeinyohead totally agree!!

Do you not think it becomes other peoples business when the noise from the phone your child is watching is disturbing everyone around them?

Im really sorry things are so difficult for you, but if someone had a child who's additional needs meant that they needed to move around the restaurant and they keep brushing past your chair and it annoyed you, would you be ok with that?

I totally agree kids need to learn to cope with boredom and I think a lot of today's kids never get taught to, but personally I think that's better modelled at home where bored kids aren't likely to become annoying to others.

Your second sentence I feel is a bit judgemental - given the activities OP has described, I'd say she's probably having plenty of conversation and interaction with her kids. A bit of downtime with screens doesn't necessarily equal 'lazy parent using screens as childcare.' It's OP's holiday too and everyone's entitled to a bit of downtime.

Seems to be lots of smug perfect parents on this thread and a few who can't be arsed reading posts properly if you ask me!

If the children have eaten and are getting restless and bored - it's time to take them back to the accommodation. It is obviously too late for them and it's time to wind down for bed

Same here. We did things like going out for lunch instead (generally quicker than an evening meal) and always booked self catering accommodation (happily also cheaper!) so we could get the kids to bed then enjoy a glass of wine, cheese, olives etc on a terrace/balcony! Holidays don't have to include evening meals out, i mean its not fun for anyone when restaurants are full of tired preschoolers is it!

We , as adults , are always on our phones ! You go out for food and you’ll see adults on their phones , taking photos of their food etc

You're on your phone in a restaurant?

Can you get the children to bed earlier? At 3&5 a lot of kids are in bed /lights out by 7.30 and that then gives a great chunk of downtime for adults every evening?

When you see children on screens in restaurants how do you tell whether they're "the SEN ones" or not?

APA says no screens before three and then from 3-8 it’s ’engaged watching’ (the parent actively watching with the kid and keeping up a commentary/asking questions/etc)

personally i find engaging with kids telly hard going (particularly if I’m already done!) so we don’t do screen time. But if you are up to keeping a commentary on it … although at that point I question why you don’t just have a conversation without the screens .

Completely agree!

@sixtyten

I watched children's TV after school. My DC did and do the same. They are now 11 and 9.

SEN of any sort are the exception, but OP hasn't mentioned this so I assume it doesn't apply to her. Your situation sounds completely different.

Next time just take a roll of duct tape, OP. Make sure you cover their months but leave the noses clear.

I've tried both methods but found people were much less disapproving when I duct-taped my toddler to the chair than when we relied on the iPad.

One concerned fellow diner did try to raise it with us once, but I said "Lady, it's either this or screen-time, unless you want colouring pencils lobbed in your direction" and of course she saw that duct tape was the lesser evil.

Nowadays I'm happy to say we don't need either. I put the duct tape on the table just in case and my kids are good as gold. In fact, we often have complements on their behaviour.

Would you actually ask a parent if their child was ND before sitting back down to glare at them if they said no? Otherwise how would you know?

Also do you know any French families? I do, and am sick of the French kids being wheeled out as better the Brits. I know a couple of French families and the kids are constantly scolded, hissed at and told to ‘shush’. Of course you’ll sit quietly in public if you’re constantly told to shut up for the most minor of things.

Also have you met any Spanish teenagers? They are as wild as your average British ones. Being able to sit without an iPad in public at dinner at 6 for a couple of hours (partly because you’re likely to get a smack if you don’t) doesn’t have much affect on what you’ll be like at 16.

Getoverit1965 · Today 13:09
My ds will sit at the table with a phone in a restaurant, no headphones either. A cardinal sin on mumsnet. He has severe Sen and will not tolerate headphones, won't tolerate being around people without a phone, huge sensory meltdown would occur. We wouldn't even be able to leave the house without a phone. I can see people looking and judging, and have had comments more than once, despite an obvious disability (he's in a buggy at 8!). Your children, nobody else's business what you choose to do and certainly not their place to comment on something that in reality is harming nobody.”

Do you keep the volume reasonably low?

The biggest load of rubbish I've ever heard. That's a statement you've just made Spanish and French kids can sit at tables for hours. I'm half Italian and spent all my childhood in Italy, the Italians would talk for hours and hours at a table and we were always at restaurants, me and my cousin would be board senseless luckily back then I had my game boy and so did she. I have been to Spain and Paris most recently and have seen plenty of Spanish children and French children at the tables watching their iPads. Don't make stupid statements like that.

I don't really like it, and bring pens and paper which is usually enough. I think it makes it harder for me though as I avoid nicer restaurants if I know my children will be restless and that often means getting takeaways in hotel rooms or McDonald's meals instead. But I don't judge others for it so long as they are using headphones (frequently they don't). When I was a child most family restaurants had playgrounds, they are nearly all gone now.

Also worth reminding older posters who hate it, during my childhood and earlier generations, having your children sit in the car while parents did a supermarket shop and even drank in the pub for hours was completely commonplace and much worse than allowing children on tablets at a restaurant. Due to neglect like this I think children were more excited to be included, and also had the threat of being banished to the car if they were restless.

I don’t see anything wrong with it. I have an autistic
child and if an iPad keeps them happy/calm when I’m having a meal then anyone who wants to judge can just sit down!

My ds will sit at the table with a phone in a restaurant, no headphones either. A cardinal sin on mumsnet. He has severe Sen and will not tolerate headphones, won't tolerate being around people without a phone, huge sensory meltdown would occur. We wouldn't even be able to leave the house without a phone. I can see people looking and judging, and have had comments more than once, despite an obvious disability (he's in a buggy at 8!). Your children, nobody else's business what you choose to do and certainly not their place to comment on something that in reality is harming nobody.

Sorry, but it IS wrong. You aren't teaching your children anything about table etiquette, socialisation, conversation..... you are simply showing them that it's okay to ignore the people you are with, and watch telly at the dinner table. It's maybe an easy way out for you now, but you're not doing them any favours in the long run. Don't even get me started on grown adults staring at mobile phones at the dinner table.

Spanish and French kids manage to sit for hours at the dinner table, and actually have conversations - not sure why in the UK we are so keen to plug kids in to a device. So yes, I would massively judge you. This shouldn't be the norm, it should maybe be the exception that is made for ND children only.