There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

In this example nothing wrong with it at all. That’s why people shouldn’t judge (and I don’t either). We allow our kids screens or IPADs after we have finished eating if it’s a particularly late meal or quite adult centred. Of course our children can order, play games with us and chat with us which they do a lot but sometimes (especially on holiday) we want to chat ourselves as adults or if we are with company who don’t have children and the conversation is a little less child centric after eating. Baring in mind our kids have eaten out with us since being babies and twice a day on holiday but there is a time and a place I think where they can be helpful (always with headphones)

I'd say it had more to do with a bit of peace and quiet to relax. Presumably you don't talk 24/7 when you're on holiday?

I guarantee most other diners will be hoping they are not seated near you when they spot the kids on the ipads.

Provided they're using headphones/earbuds I shouldn't think other diners could give a toss unless they decide to indulge in a bit of judgeyness like some on this thread

I think if you persevere, as we did for years with our now 8 year old, then children learn to behave in a restaurant and contribute toward the discussion and are generally a pleasure to dine with. I always come prepared with lego, stickers, pens, cards in case my child gets really restless but by then we're usually ready to go anyway.

Apart from on long haul flights I think giving your child a screen is just lazy parenting.

Did this “judgy mcjudgypants” say something? Or are you just making assumptions about what she thought?

When you’re feeling unsure about a parenting decision it’s easy to project those feelings onto other people- “I’m not sure about X” becomes “they are judging me for X”.

The trick is to own your decisions. If this was genuinely the right thing to do in your situation, who cares what a random stranger thinks? OTOH if you on some level are worried it wasn’t the right thing to do, address that rather than what a random
stranger may or may not think about it.

In parenting, there will always be someone who would do it differently. You’ll make your life a lot easier if you accept that and focus on how you want to do things.

But you don’t know the situation of any of the people you’re judging. You don’t know anything from a snippet of their life. Everyone is just doing the best in the situation they are in.

Even if it’s just parents and children knackered after a long day so getting some food and a chill what’s it to do with anyone else?

This. ^ There are some batshit posts on this thread!

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Holiday or the company some are with must be pretty boring if they’re concentrating on children being quiet on their tablets at dinner.

What an utterly ludicrous OTT response. 🙄 Makes me very glad my children aren't at school any longer.

Or just leave your kids at home if they are incapable of sitting around a table and being civilised for an hour and you are incapable of parenting them. It really lowers the tone of the environment when you have to hear the repetitive annoying songs on the ipads.

I guarantee most other diners will be hoping they are not seated near you when they spot the kids on the ipads.

Fair enough in your situation you have exceptional circumstances here compared to average eaters who are not tube fed. You have to do what is best in this situation if you are a carer.

How on earth is a bit of screentime idle parenting after a day of planned child-centred activities, and with crayons and paper on offer as an alternative? Especially with educational games on the device(s).

So if I’m staying in a hotel with a child who can’t be left alone who is tube fed for 90% of his nutrition when would you suggest is an appropriate time for me to eat? Or should we just not go away incase him quietly looking at maps on his iPad upsets a stranger.

Yes, because everyone has those options.

There are countless threads showing that many do not have the option to have grandparents watch their children or grandparents that want to even help in the first place or afford a nanny.

People can easily mind their business and concentrate on themselves and not letting the sight of a child on their tablet bother them. As long as they aren’t being loud or playing the tablet loud, what does it matter?

We do it. After a busy day.. it's time to relax and if this is how children do it.. headphones/ quietly.. can't see anything wrong at all.

I agree. Feed them at appropriate times of the day when they are amenable to sitting nicely for a meal (not late in the evening).

You can’t control what other people are going to think, you can only control how you react. Let them judge as much as they want, it only affects you if you allow it to.

Well spotted. My argument has crumbled into dust.

If parents want adult time on hols, hire a nanny for the night or leave em at home with grandparents

Kids need sleep and rest, they wont get that late at night in a restaurant on ipads...bone idle parenting.

Not everything has to be a teaching and learning event for a child. Sometimes it's fine to do what you need to do to get a bit of peace and enjoyment yourself!

I also would reconsider what we mean by "child-centric" activities (we as a society). Many times it seems to mean dragging children all over activities that leave them (and us!) over-tired and over-stimulated. We do them with the best intentions, believing they need them, and we all end up tired and stressed. Children need down time and boring time too.

We don't own ipads so it wouldn't be an issue tbh...often eating earlier when they're not over tired is the better option. Then they're not needing gadgets to keep them amused.

If they're out too late and over tired then they will be restless.

Tbh, I rarely come into contact with children when dining out where they have their tablets up loud, I come more into contact with adults who don’t seem to have control of their own volume when dining out.

Yes absolutely

Dh and I had this discussion the other day. We were out for a meal recently at a family place. Our 3 love colouring so we always take colouring books and colours and they all sat happily colouring away and we were all chatting, lovely. Then as they’d finished their meals and we were finishing ours, our eldest went on his phone and our middle went on her iPad game where she builds little towns/decorates houses and makes characters to live in them. The youngest moved onto playing with the few bits of Duplo and his toy cars we also took.

Depending on when you looked at our table you would have either seen a fully interacting family, no screens all of us colouring and thought that was lovely to see or you’d have seen two of the 5 of us on screens not engaging with eachother at that moment thinking all of our meals were like that and we just let our kids have screens 24/7.

What I’m saying is that you just see snapshots of peoples lives, you have no idea what they’ve done with their children earlier in the day and sometimes you just want to eat your food in peace. I say do what works for you.