There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

So you think the temperament a child is born with, or whether or not they have additional needs, autism or adhd for example, have nothing to do with how they behave?

You're wrong about that!😂

It's generally pretty clear if someone is using tech for a specific reason/need,
I'm another one wondering how you can tell if a child sitting quietly watching their ipad has additional needs or not @JudgeBurrito?

Yes… funnily enough I don’t expect to draw on the menu or eat bits of other peoples dishes despite many many dinners doing that as a child. I also don’t lie down on the floor and kick my legs if my daddy doesn’t tell me the jam tarts story while we eat fish and chips.

Almost like adults and children have different needs and skills!

None of it is ‘bad’, but it’s all the same.

The dinner table was not ‘supposed’ to be for reading, games or colouring any more than it was for screens. Unless you are sitting and discoursing you are doing it wrong- and plenty would argue that too much talking, especially from children, isn’t proper.

100 years ago the idea that children would expect someone to play with them or give the crayons would have been infra dig/lazy/tacky/spoilt etc.

It’s utterly pathetic to judge this absolute non issue. Are all those ‘I’d never allow it’ types not concerned their children will never learn to eat a meal without playing eye spy? Or will have a nervous breakdown at 30 when they have forgotten their sticker book?

I don’t. I also don’t judge strangers if the kids with them are sitting silently on their tablets.

I remember going out with my parents, being bored out of my mind and being allowed to bring a book as I waited for my food. Not much different to a child being on their tablet if no one can hear it.

Yet, I somehow managed to have no issues speaking to people throughout my life, choosing to do volunteer work, working in public-facing roles, and being able to talk about a wide range of various topics.

The rules are simple here. Screens bad, books good, crayons good. Extra points if your small child lobs them into your neighbour's soup.

I don't like it but I do allow my 4 year old to have it while waiting for food. Not while he's eating as he'd probably be too distracted.
I don't think my parents took us out to eat until we were older. I still remember going for a meal at about 9 and taking my book to read. Is that just as bad?

Great for you. And some parents nowadays are pleased that screens are an option because that gives them the opportunity to eat out, either as a pleasant experience rather than an endurance test or at all.

Lots of things weren't an option years ago and people did just fine. Smartphones, holidays abroad, multiple cars per household. And yet we have them now...

@JudgeBurrito

It's generally pretty clear if someone is using tech for a specific reason/need

Is it?

How can you tell?

The thing is, those of us who raised kids pre iPads did it just fine.

We had no other options besides talking to them, engaging with them, sticker books, colouring, game playing.

I'm so glad screens weren't ever an option for my kids when they were small.

I wouldn't do this but I don't judge people who do.

I see it all the time in the tube. Child sits down, adult hands them a device, they get off two stops later.

I don't agree with it, but these aren't my children to parent.

If you're happy with your decisions, just do it and ignore what other people think.

I don’t think twice when I see other parents allowing their children on tablets in restaurants but I don’t allow mine - I think it’s an important social skill and that they learn how to behave when eating out. It’s not something we do regularly so when we do eat out it’s a family occasion and I don’t want 50% of said family in another world on their tablet. I don’t allow them at meal times at home either.

I’m in the “no” camp, but I do think it depends a bit on your child- my DD is not very good at having things “sometimes” so I know if I start letting her have an iPad at dinner she’d ask for it all the time. If you have the type of child who can cope with having the iPad on certain occasions and engaging on others, it’s probably a bit easier.

@Whenwillitgetwarm hate to disappoint but I don't drink alcohol and my performance reviews don't suggest that I am shit.

However, I do understand and completely agree with your point!

Haha, I definitely should have said something like that! Unfortunately I was so taken aback that I just meekly uttered something about it being a special occasion because it was our anniversary. Unfortunately my husband wasn’t aware of what he was saying because he chose to almost whisper it in my ear with absolutely revolting tobacco breath…

Of course, but sight is just one sense.

@SwingTheMonkey . I'm sorry that one interfering twat's comment ruined your evening, but maybe if it happens again, go over to the offender's table and critique their dinner performance.

Something along the lines of "I just want you to know that we think you've been generally well-behaved during this meal, but we did notice you glancing at your phone a few times too often while your companion was speaking and you might want to polish up your conversational repartee as we did notice her eyes glazing over once or twice as she nodded along politely to what you were saying as you held forth at some length. You are clearly very passionate about garden hoses and it is good to have interests. But you only spoke unacceptably loudly after the fourth glass of wine and generally limited walking around the restaurant unnecessarily, so on the whole, well done. But we thought you'd appreciate a few pointers for next time. It's so nice to see properly behaved adults in public places".

It's not

We’ve been on the receiving end of someone commenting on our children having iPads in a restaurant. I say we, actually it was me that was addressed- funnily enough this lone gentleman didn’t approach my husband. It was our 10th anniversary and we didn’t have childcare and wanted to go out. So we let the children have iPads so that we could have a conversation with each other. Whilst I held it together while this childless arsehole questioned my parenting, I couldn’t help but cry after he left and it ruined the evening. All because some absolute twat thought they needed to comment on my parenting. He did also compliment them at the same time but thought he’d throw in the comment about the iPads being lazy.
He was right about one thing though - my kids are fabulously well behaved in restaurants, even though occasionally we let them have an iPad. Because it’s not an all or nothing situation and sometimes it is perfectly fine to be lazy. Nobody needs to be a martyr and children will not grow up unable to function socially because of that one time their parents were knackered and just wanted to eat their dinner in peace.
My younger children still bring things to do to a restaurant which others would deem more socially appropriate (colouring etc)- I can assure you that they are no more aware of what’s going on at the table than they are with a screen. It’s just that screens are sneered at.

Have you never heard of an invisible disability?

What the judgey pants don't seem to realise is if I give my kids the iPad it's for the benefit of the other people in the restaurant, not me. At home I can deal with the noise of bored or overstimulated children and wouldn't give them a device at the table but other people shouldn't have to be affected by other people's kids while they are out.

I'm not sure if you're aware but this is a discussion forum... The whole point is to post our opinions. You're entitled to disagree, but I'm entitled to my opinion.

It's generally pretty clear if someone is using tech for a specific reason/need, and obviously that's not the same as sitting with headphones in zoned into Bluey or whatever. But don't let me being reasonable get in the way of your sensitivity and outrage.

Would never ever do this with mine but I also would mind my own business if someone did this near me.

Sometimes it's nice to switch off the kids. It's either that or put them out of the house with a "For sale" sign on them.

I agree with this to a certain extent. Provided your children aren't actively annoying others, just do what works best for you and your family.

As far as I'm concerned, strangers have a right to pull me up if my children are being a (justified) pain in the arse to them but otherwise I'm not interested in their unsolicited views on my parenting.

I'm with you OP. I get it