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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 'no spark' means absolutely nothing?

109 replies

Reasonstobebeautiful · 02/08/2024 10:01

And it's just some generic rubbish that people sprout to avoid the truth.

I'm not suggesting to be rude and harsh in your rejection, but for me 'the spark just wasn't there's is a lazy, meaningless and easy excuse.

People will say 'What do you want us to say then?'
Not telling you what to say, just saying what I think of it.

OP posts:
TheSecretIsland · 02/08/2024 10:06

I've been on dates with people I find physically attractive but there isn't a spark.

Like I've been great friends with someone but no spark.

Spark is the bit you can't explain, on paper I went out with the ideal man, he was lovely and attractive and funny and perfect , but not for me as there was no spark.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 02/08/2024 10:06

It means "we didn't have the connection romantically for this relationship"

It's not a lazy excuse

OMGsamesame · 02/08/2024 10:06

minipie · 02/08/2024 10:04

IMO it means “I don’t fancy you” but in nicer language.

It’s not avoiding the truth so much as saying it in a less directly hurtful way.

This.

It means anything from "I expect to be blown away with desire and I wasnt" to "I'm reasonably open-minded but when you picked your nose and ate it during dinner that closed the door for me".

It's an excellent no-blame no-explain get-out phrase

Ace56 · 02/08/2024 10:06

Yes exactly - it means I don’t find you sexually attractive. Nothing wrong with it imo.

theeyeofdoe · 02/08/2024 10:06

minipie · 02/08/2024 10:04

IMO it means “I don’t fancy you” but in nicer language.

It’s not avoiding the truth so much as saying it in a less directly hurtful way.

I think a spark is more than that, a spark means that you feel that you also connect on an emotional level.

OP - If you haven't felt it before, it's difficult to describe.

Reasonstobebeautiful · 02/08/2024 10:05

minipie · 02/08/2024 10:04

IMO it means “I don’t fancy you” but in nicer language.

It’s not avoiding the truth so much as saying it in a less directly hurtful way.

Yeah, that's it I guess. It'll probably remain the most popular thing that people say, and the rejectee is still going to be able to work out what it means. I guess we all have our gripes and that is just something I find lazy and irritating for some reason.

OP posts:
MapleTreeValley · 02/08/2024 10:05

It's not meaningless - it means "I don't fancy you".

5128gap · 02/08/2024 10:05

It does have meaning. It's a polite way of saying I can't imagine having sex with you. Either because I don't fancy you or because I don't think you'd be up for it with me.

minipie · 02/08/2024 10:04

IMO it means “I don’t fancy you” but in nicer language.

It’s not avoiding the truth so much as saying it in a less directly hurtful way.