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Original poster

Be upset with DH over credit card holiday purchase

34 replies

Bamboolampsandscandichairs · 02/08/2024 01:35

I’ve lost sleep over this! DH has paid for a £3k holiday (all inclusive) with a credit card. He was made redundant in May and doesn’t have a job at the moment. We don’t have much in savings and what we do have has kept us going whilst he is job hunting. I had a crap year with lots of family illness (mum has cancer, brother very unwell). I think he felt bad for me and decided to book this on a whim. I tried to cancel but we still have to pay for the flights and shuttle service. I’m very worried that we won’t be able to pay this back on time and I’m very debt averse!

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Sunnydiary · 03/08/2024 17:52

I’m not clear what “working on some things” means?

So has he been working? And that money will come in soon? Is he actively looking for work?

I would go ahead with the holiday rather than lose any money.

Rafting2022 · 03/08/2024 17:49

AimieDaisy · 02/08/2024 11:16

No, not a joke and I’m not changing my opinion. She’s married to a plank, she totally deserves the holiday.

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I’m sure the bank/credit card company/mortgage company/energy providers etc etc will all view it like that when they start defaulting on payments.

AimieDaisy · 02/08/2024 11:16

Heronwatcher · 02/08/2024 09:38

Is this a joke? “Go enjoy it you deserve it”? No one deserves an AI holiday more than the next person, it’s what you can afford not what you “deserve”. And what happens if he can’t get a job when he gets back, someone gets sick, the boiler breaks? Spending money before you get it is making yourself an absolute hostage to fortune. No wonder people can’t manage money these days.

Show quote history

No, not a joke and I’m not changing my opinion. She’s married to a plank, she totally deserves the holiday.

Zebedee999 · 02/08/2024 10:08

Sadly you married an imbecile.

Starlight1979 · 02/08/2024 09:55

I don't think YABU to be worried however why did he use a credit card if you have savings and he's going to pay it back in 2-3 months? Unless it's a 0% it makes no sense to rack up debt if you have money sat there?

sixtyten · 02/08/2024 09:44

anon20 · 02/08/2024 06:05

Since you won't get your money back, go and enjoy the all inclusive. Can you transfer it to a 0% interest card?

I'd be telling him to get a move on with finding a job though.

This would be my advice too.

RosiePosie88 · 02/08/2024 09:41

Can you change the hotel to something more budget?

Therealjudgejudy · 02/08/2024 09:41

Did you remove the card from him?

Heronwatcher · 02/08/2024 09:38

AimieDaisy · 02/08/2024 06:10

Go, enjoy it, you deserve it. When you get back, kick his ass into gear and ensure he gets absolutely any job he can.

Is this a joke? “Go enjoy it you deserve it”? No one deserves an AI holiday more than the next person, it’s what you can afford not what you “deserve”. And what happens if he can’t get a job when he gets back, someone gets sick, the boiler breaks? Spending money before you get it is making yourself an absolute hostage to fortune. No wonder people can’t manage money these days.

Heronwatcher · 02/08/2024 09:34

I’d be livid.

I don’t know what his work situation is but I think I might be saying that unless he gets a job, any job (stacking shelves, whatever) to cover half of the cost you’re not going and you’ll make him shoulder the things you can’t cancel. Or could you keep the flights and shuttle and stay somewhere cheaper/ not AI.

Tell me the credit card isn’t “joint” and I’m your name too.

Do not be tempted to let this one go because he was alleged trying to to do something nice, or you’ll end up homeless with nothing but a CCJ to your name. If he can’t understand that you live within your means- when you’re unemployed as he is it’s caravan in Wales/ staycation time and if he can’t understand that he shouldn’t be in charge of any family finances.

Polarnight · 02/08/2024 09:28

Can you transfer it to a 0% credit card & pay it off at around £100 a month? I know that won't clear a £3k balance quickly but what I mean is, hopefully he'll have a job by then and can pay the balance off.

alwaysmovingforwards · 02/08/2024 09:26

Spending £3k on a holiday without income or a means to pay it back is madness imo.

But if the deed is done I guess you may as well thoroughly enjoy it, because paying minimum balance on the credit card it’s going to end up costing you a hell of a lot more than £3k!

I’d remove the card from him though, he sounds like an absolute financial liability who’s going to create more problems than he solves.

TheSerenePinkOrca · 02/08/2024 09:25

If he was made redundant 2 to 3 months ago and has just spent £3000 on a holiday then he needs to get ANY job for now as otherwise this will cause you a huge amount of stress and problems if you can't pay it back!!

ANY job will do - he can do this until he finds something more suitable.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 02/08/2024 09:22

Bamboolampsandscandichairs · 02/08/2024 01:42

He has been working on some things and is confident that he will pay it back by September/October but I’m very worried!!!!

Well that’s next month….I’d kill him.

2PinkCrocs · 02/08/2024 09:19

What’s the interest free period on the card?

You say he was made redundant in May - please tell me he’s working now in August?

BIossomtoes · 02/08/2024 09:18

anon20 · 02/08/2024 06:05

Since you won't get your money back, go and enjoy the all inclusive. Can you transfer it to a 0% interest card?

I'd be telling him to get a move on with finding a job though.

This. Transfer it to a 0% card - there are some offering 26 months now - and enjoy the holiday.

mm81736 · 02/08/2024 09:15

Do you work?

OMGsamesame · 02/08/2024 09:13

He has been working on some things and is confident that he will pay it back by September/October

What kind of things bring in £3k plus interest in 3 months?

CaraLara · 02/08/2024 09:11

Hes told you he's confident it will be paid back within 1-2 months. Does he usually lie? If not, I think you should accept he's also an adult who can make decisions. You might not agree with them, but if paid back in 2 months is it really an issue?

sunsetsandboardwalks · 02/08/2024 06:48

What do you mean by pay it back on time? Debt can sit on a credit card for as long as you need it to, it just accumulates interest if not transferred over to a 0% card.

What are the things he's working on - is it a temporary job or something he's doing on a self-employed basis?

JellyMouldJnr · 02/08/2024 06:45

Are you absolutely sure you can’t get a refund? You should be able to if you’ve booked it in the last few days.

Onehotday · 02/08/2024 06:40

I'd be raging. If it was a couple of hundred £ for a weekend somewhere in the UK, then fair enough. But an unemployed person going £3k into debt for something non essential is absolutely horrific.

Is it even somewhere you've ever said you wanted to go?

Rafting2022 · 02/08/2024 06:36

AimieDaisy · 02/08/2024 06:10

Go, enjoy it, you deserve it. When you get back, kick his ass into gear and ensure he gets absolutely any job he can.

How about he gets his own arse into gear to get a job instead of it being her responsibility to motivate him?

GRex · 02/08/2024 06:24

Bamboolampsandscandichairs · 02/08/2024 01:42

He has been working on some things and is confident that he will pay it back by September/October but I’m very worried!!!!

Is he due to be paid for "some things"? If so, you might need to trust him a bit more.

If you're used to working PAYE, then temporary contracts might seem scary, but they are another form of working and can be lucrative for those who have the right skills to get enough work that way.

Wormfanclub · 02/08/2024 06:13

I think he felt bad for me and decided to book this on a whim

So he booked it without asking you? This is NOT okay.

Even though we don’t have money problems, I would never spend that amount without checking with DH, and neither would he.