Village bullies - time to move?

Hmm, tricky one.

Are there local people you are friendly with? (Translation: is everyone batshit?) I'm guessing you are not the only one who thinks they are bat shit and stick it out.

I would keep a diary of all this stuff, and quite openly take photos of bins blocking your gate etc. They might think it's really big and clever as they sniggeringly plan these stupid little annoyances but boy does it look petty and stupid if they think everyone else would find out. It might make them stop if they think you will report them, even if you're not planning to. And it might be useful evidence if things escalate.

If any drink and drive, or take illegal drugs, I'd let the police know. Or even if known, their employer.

But she already did all of those things and it's egtting worse?

Selling would be mad, but it's no fun if your neighbours don't like you. I'd kill them with kindness, take them some honey apologise for any misunderstandings and be super friendly and lovely. It's much more difficult to hate someone who is really nice.
I think you've moved into one of those villages where they like everything to look pristine and to be peaceful and nothing to ever change. I'd just keep that in mind if you want to keep them on side.

I would ride it out, don't let them bully you out. I have lived in a few villages and for some reason this happens to new people I just haven't fathomed out why.

Builders noise all day isn't great. Then parking. Are your visitors parking so other folk can't park their own cars. But your neighbours don't sound very nice,

OP many villagers are famously loopy. Sad to report that my mum worked in the library of the next village along, and all the old bat volunteers had a complete vendetta against her - they liked the previous manager, and basically thought my mum wasn't posh enough because she was from the next village along. Bullying, moving things so that they were in breach of health and safety, constant undermining. Sad to report that some villagers are just malicious curtain-twitchers. Just behave in a completely neutral way and ignore. You will make other friends. Bet many others think they are complete c*nts as well.

@Joyjazz for the bins. I would move them just out of sight of the bin men so the collections get missed. A few weeks of that and perhaps they'll learn their lesson. So rude isnt it.

Just wondering if you actually read the bit in the OP's post where they donated honey from their bees to the village fete?

@Joyjazz - I think the people causing trouble are generally nosey, unhappy people so you have a few options open to you - ignore it entirely and don't pay any attention to it at all or to them, ignore what they are saying (as in don't take it to heart) but do make a note of it because if it carries on you could have a good case for harassment or you could take the bull by the horns here and see if there is any middle ground to be made between you?
You could start off by saying that you're clearly new to the village and you didn't want to upset people and you're sorry if you did (doesn't matter if you have to lie here) but you'd appreciate it if you could start afresh and if they could help you adjust to village life. Get them on-side if you will. They won't necessarily know if you're taking their advice or not but they will think they are God's Gift if you try this.

Don't move until you absolutely have to and at this stage, you don't really have to.

@Redgreenfroggy - that's blatant harassment there. Are the local police not stepping in here, perhaps a community liaison officer might be able to help smooth things over?

Does the village have a sort of ‘leader figure’ even if not official that everyone looks to in community life who may be able to help and advise you? Might be the local counselor, vicar or main business owner. Not sure if that still exists but it did in my grandparents village.

This is NOT typical village behaviour! My neighbours were lovely from the minute we moved here - although it took a while to become friends as they were quite private people. I joined a local club and it's been great ever since. OP's neighbours sound challenging, but most people are lovely when you find things in common and misunderstandings can usually be dealt with.

Sounds painfully familiar, this. We moved to what was then the 'new' bit of our old village in 2007. People would insist that we weren't part of Nether Fucklethwaite, we were a separate community called Wedontwantthatthereere Park (names obviously changed), even though we were in the same postcode area and all the rest of it.

It was quite tedious - and ultimately futile, as there have in the past 12 years or so been half a dozen further new estates built all round the edges of the village, with another in planning now.

Start by getting a Ring door bell, so you can monitor it.
then document every piece of antisocial behaviour.

similar issue in our village and the instigator got an ASBO!

Easier said than done, but ride it out if you can, it would be unfair to lose money on selling your
House, and your visitors have every right to park on the road. Just because people are used to parking there it is not their spaces, it is a public road that everyone can park there. What a petty bunch to be reporting you As well. Hopefully you will meet nice people as time goes on. Good luck.

This is awful bullying behaviour. I definitely wouldn’t kill them with kindness or do anything differently like parking elsewhere why should you? I’d get a ring doorbell for starters or a camera which is probably good anyway if you are on your own. I’d also log the incidents and maybe have a chat with the local PCSO if there is one. As PP have said this is harassment. You don’t need to make a formal complaint at this stage just get some advice and it will help you feel a bit more in control.

You’ll make other friends in time through school or other areas of the village please don’t let them push you away.

we've had letters through our door & even a dead magpie left on our doorstep

My neighbour refused to let me get out of my car on my own drive. Held the door closed.

This same village also tried to stop a wind turbine being built on “Mill Post Hill”, sacred site of a former windmill which collapsed in the 50s. You might think putting a windmill up on the site of a previous windmill would be welcomed, but no, apparently it is disrespectful to the memory of the former windmill.

Regarding the parking, you know that is ridiculous. Do not cave to that nonsense.
Regarding the bins, take photos and post in local group saying this keeps happening, why would anyone do this? Are kids moving these bins? If you see who is doing this let me know etc.
Or be petty and move in a similar way to block theirs, or knock them over or move them out of the way depending what mood you are in... Or maybe after they are emptied move them farther away and be a bit of an arse yourself.
Honestly, I'd probably kill them with kindness and talk with them but given their bstshit thinking on parking I'm not sure it would work.
I agree that offering things free locally and getting involved in a local activity or group might save your sanity.

Ignore them, they sound dreadful. Make new friends with school mums. If they’re old they won’t be around for long 😉

@Iwasafool sorry to read of your experience. Horrible for you feeling so stuck and regretting not making a move years ago.

What’s your end game? Living as happily as possible in your beautiful home with lots of space? I counsel avoiding upping the ante. If you do decide to move you absolutely do not want festering neighbour disputes impacting on selling. If you want to stay, you want to be comfortable, without festering disputes.

Villages can be f*ing weird. So can cities and suburbs. All neighbourhoods have their own particular rules of engagement. I’ve lived just outside an oddball little village for almost 50 years. My dear late FIL advised ‘Smile and wave. Kill with kindness’.

You may have inadvertently offended. You may be being judged for being a single parent. Your neighbours may be obnoxious ratbags.

Figure out what you want, be patient, get your visitors to park on your drive. Child starting school will hopefully open positive opportunities to engage with the community.

No one should be bullied, but to quote my FIL again, more than one way to skin a cat. I find the idea of reporting this sort of stuff to police laughable. They haven’t the resources. Keep your powder dry for rights of way, drainage, boundary disputes, should they arise, and use lawyers if you have to. Confronting will not work. Asking questions about bins and blocking your drive might. Killing with kindness might.

Lots of good suggestions about working to find your space have been made up thread.

And if they are toxic nutjobs who make it unpalatable to live there, plan your exit to suit you

Good luck. I’m so sorry you’re having this nonsense and hope you find a way to make it work

Pour your honey on their cars when they block you in.

@EnjoythemoneyJane The boundary is totally clear in his deeds and ours. His field backs onto our wooded section. We walked down there one day and found barbed wire in our way. An area had been blocked off with barbed wire! We now have a much more substantial fence between them and us. He said the deer couldn’t jump it! They don’t need to as they have lots of options to move about.

Our vigilantes go into overdrive re planning. No holding back.

Oh god, the CF boundary dispute! Exactly the same thing happened in a nearby village when a newbie (utterly vile, arrogant POS) annexed a huge section of his neighbour’s garden. Lots of houses don’t have fences or clearly defined boundaries between them so he just randomly decided what was his! Then spent literally years and an absolute fortune trying to legally argue his case. The stress and expense nearly drove his neighbours out of their home.

Where I live the presiding clique is definitely those who’ve always lived here, but with the exception of the odd nut job we all rub along ok. One woman only spoke to me once, 20+ years ago, to issue a summons invitation for me to bring my children to Sunday school. I politely declined and she’s done nothing since but give me a thunderous slice of shit eye and badmouth me to other people 😂.

There’s also a bloke who’s psychotic about policing and reporting every minor planning infringement, even once clambering through barbed wire and brambles to take long lens photos of the back of someone’s house. A visit from the police put a swift stop to that. There are fucking mad, awful people everywhere, but it definitely feels more magnified when the social pool is so limited!

How are they blocking you in and obstructing your front door with the bins, is your drive at the front. They can't cause an obstruction or your exit, the police and fire brigade have advice on this. They sound petty and jealous, can you join any local mums or toddler groups, make some new friends and ignore these idiots.,

Please don't let them bully you out of your home. They are nasty people who need standing up to. Stay strong OP.