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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my sisters accident my fault?

272 replies

Babybirdmum · 01/08/2024 18:02

—my sister fell over my child’s toy in my garden and broke her nose/hurt her front teeth.
-I called an ambulance, cared for her, hubby sent text afterwards, I said I’m sorry this happened.
-after I was saying how awful, I googled what happens when you bang your teeth. Kept saying it’s awful.
-she doesn’t remember me saying sorry but I guess she was in shock.
-we have a difficult relationship but have been getting on well recently.
-she phoned me to say if it was at a restaurant then she would sue them, implying that I should give her some compensation. (Because my mum said “she just wants an apology” and she said in the background “no I don’t, I want more”)
-I said are you joking and laughed. She look offence.she said speak to my lawyers (she doesn’t have lawyers so I did t know how to take this).—I was really upset. Accused her of asking me for money to fund her extravagant lifestyle.
-my mum was on speaker during the phone too. She said sister just wanted an apology.
-seems like she wanted money and because I got upset she was blaming me, changed it to wanting an apology. She said she didn’t think I was sorry it happened. I feel I’ve been very compassionate. Not sure what else I could’ve done?
-need outside opinions as I have no clue whether it’s me or her that’s in the wrong. I’ve apologised to her but she doesn’t care how hurt I feel about the phone call, especially when I feel like I’ve supported her.

OP posts:
ScartlettSole · 02/08/2024 19:58

It was an accident! Of course you cant be held financially responsible!
Unless you're american, you'd probably owe her your first born 🙈😂

Mtlso · 02/08/2024 19:56

Hang on a minute - she was the one who tripped and caused loads of commotion in your house and probably broke the toy. What a bitch! You don’t need to even say sorry! It was her fault she tripped! Next time she comes over put those warning signs up like they do in public when they’ve mopped the floor. What a sister to have!!

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/08/2024 19:56

Only a total muppet doesn't expect toys to be out in a garden, in summer, at a house that has resident small children ...

Those are reasonably expected to be there and you would also reasonably expect an adult to know this and look where they're bloody going.

OP you're not at fault, unless the toy in question was a 'My First Trip-wire and Booby-Trap set' and you lured your sister to walk through it... which I really doubt.

FWIW if you trip over something at a workplace that is reasonably expected to be there, you'd also get nowhere sueing them. You are expected to look where you're going, it is normal to do so.

Your sister is a twat, OP. I am so sorry.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 02/08/2024 19:52

Exactlab · 02/08/2024 19:08

Yes, you could be held liable. Your sister is correct.

Just give her a verbal apology like she asked.

You also sound jealous saying she wants you to fund her extravagant lifestyle.

She broke her nose because you don’t keep your home tidy. Even if she’s had it re-set in the hospital she may require plastic surgery later on. Take a look at Cameron Diaz’s nose and how different her face looked after her nose broke.

You also don’t say what damage was done to her teeth. If the teeth were damaged at the root it’s possible the entire tooth could die and turn brown/grey. She may need expensive surgery to cap them. You’ve been deliberately vague on the teeth situation.

Just apologise.

Even in a tidy house you can trip and break your nose or whatever.

ScreamingBeans · 02/08/2024 19:52

Is she blind? If she is it's your fault.

If she isn't, she should have looked where she was going.

OkapiSandwichAndARoastEgg · 02/08/2024 19:51

Exactlab · 02/08/2024 19:17

She’s not asking for the apology in writing - she’s asking for a verbal apology that she got hurt.

But why should she apologise? Unless she deliberately shoved the toy under her sisters feet as she was carrying a tray or something, she is not at fault.

Emmelina · 02/08/2024 19:48

She's being ridiculous. If you visit a house with young children, you watch where you're walking. It's assumed there will be something/someone to step on/trip over if you're not attentive.

squidgybits · 02/08/2024 19:47

I used to have a princess diva sister like this, it took a long time but she showed her true colours to others who see through the BS now and frankly can't tolerate her presence now
It saved me a lot of years of BS when she turned the family against me, now , a couple of decades later, they know! ( they suffered it for long enough!)
Keep your own sanity and never invite her back and if you have to , make her sign something saying you are not responsible or liable for her in any way
P.S. my life is great , Hers, not so much as she will never be happy ( only ££££ makes it happy)
sending love and light and the strength to call out all BS and just not allow it - your home - your rules X

Rosscameasdoody · 02/08/2024 19:44

JustAnotherDadOf2 · 02/08/2024 19:41

Shit happens, when it happens it's usually shitty shit. You should probably have bought her some really nice flowers and chocolates (def not toffees, as that might have finished her teeth off) but no more than that.

After experiencing the nasty attitude and the expectation of monetary compensation, I think I would have been inclined to go out and buy her a years’ supply of Chew-Its !!!

JustAnotherDadOf2 · 02/08/2024 19:41

Shit happens, when it happens it's usually shitty shit. You should probably have bought her some really nice flowers and chocolates (def not toffees, as that might have finished her teeth off) but no more than that.

viques · 02/08/2024 19:40

Babybirdmum · 02/08/2024 19:12

I’ve replied to the ambulance thing just look back in the comments it’s not what you think

Apologies, I missed your response too.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/08/2024 19:37

Hedgerow2 · 02/08/2024 19:36

@Rosscameasdoody - she cancelled the ambulance after she'd called her mum who then took her to hospital.

Yeah, apologies. That’ll teach me for commenting before I click on ‘see all’ !!

Rosscameasdoody · 02/08/2024 19:36

Longdueachange · 02/08/2024 18:55

You do have a duty of care to visitors. Give her your home insurance details. They'll probably refuse a claim as she had no out of pocket expenses.
A little different, but if I go to a client's home I have the right to expect not to trip and injure myself.

But if you go to a clients’ home in a professional capacity should you not have your own liability insurance ?

Hedgerow2 · 02/08/2024 19:36

@Rosscameasdoody - she cancelled the ambulance after she'd called her mum who then took her to hospital.

1983Louise · 02/08/2024 19:34

Accident happen, tell her you'll buy her some glasses so she doesn't do it again...........

Rosscameasdoody · 02/08/2024 19:33

Hedgerow2 · 02/08/2024 19:32

@llizzie - if you can get a relative to drive you to hospital, as op did, there's absolutely no need to call an ambulance.

OP didn’t take her to hospital - she called an ambulance.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/08/2024 19:32

viques · 02/08/2024 18:48

If she had tripped over a toy that had been left lying around in a restaurant then she would have a point. But she tripped over a toy in a place where any reasonable person might expect there to be toys lying around.

I am a bit horrified that you called an ambulance for a broken nose and teeth though. Could someone not have driven her to a and e , or called a cab?

Edited

A broken nose along with teeth in the same injury is an emergency. Blood clots are a possibility and breathing can be blocked by bleeding from the injuries.

Hedgerow2 · 02/08/2024 19:32

@llizzie - if you can get a relative to drive you to hospital, as op did, there's absolutely no need to call an ambulance.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/08/2024 19:29

Dotto · 01/08/2024 18:08

Tell her to fuck off

Yep. I think under the circumstances this is the only appropriate response. She fell over a toy in a house with children - presumably didn’t look where she was going. You apologised and cared for her while you waited for the ambulance, but suddenly she can’t remember that. I can almost see the ££££ signs ringing up in her eyes. Had she been drinking by any chance ?

huuskymam · 02/08/2024 19:24

I'd get her a specsavers voucher and tell her to watch where she's going in future. A home with kids has toys lying around.

llizzie · 02/08/2024 19:23

BorisJohnsonsWigGlue · 02/08/2024 19:11

FYI, OP.

999 / ambulances are for ACCIDENT OR EMERGENCY.

A broken nose (even with blood) is NOT an EMERGENCY ffs.

Broken front teeth are an emergency even if the nose isn't. Those teeth might need jaw surgery surgery. No one can tell how urgent that or a broken nose is. A broken nose bleeding into the throat can cause breathing difficulties.

I would have sent for an ambulance. That is what paramedics are for, whether the nose and teeth are broken in an RTA or at home.

TortillasAndSalsa · 02/08/2024 19:20

Sounds Iike a genuine accident it's not as if you deliberately pushed her and she fell. Reiterate your sorry and that you did indeed look after her after it happened and leave it at that

BenchyMcBenchFace · 02/08/2024 19:19

Exactlab · 02/08/2024 19:14

I think many people are giving their views on what they personally feel - not what the law actually says.

Yes, from a legal standpoint OP is liable and there is significant case law on this.

People in the US usually sue for injury because they can’t access universal healthcare so the legal route is the only recourse.

It’s not just an American thing. It is common for people in Germany to have insurance in case someone gets accidentally injured in their home.

If the OP’s sister requires significant dental work or a plastic surgeon to correct her nose then she could sue her sister to have her pay.

In which case any right-minded sibling in a functional family would wait until that necessity arose, then have a calm conversation with the other sibling in which they say “sorry love, but since I’m going to need corrective surgery and can’t/dont want to pay for it, I’m going to need to claim it from your insurance. No hard feelings, though I’m a bit pissed off that your house is a midden and you didn’t clear up properly. Still, accidents happen and I feel like a fanny for not watching where I was going. Hope your premiums don’t go up too much love - let’s both be frugal on our Christmas presents to each other this year!” kinda thing.

Not threatening to “sue” one another over the phone, as some form of revenge, when there isn’t even anything significant to sue for yet.

Exactlab · 02/08/2024 19:17

OkapiSandwichAndARoastEgg · 02/08/2024 18:42

I wouldn't keep apologising and especially not in writing.

You have not done anything wrong. Forget it and go low contact. It was literally an accident and any fault is hers and hers alone. Toys where there are kids? who would have thought ?

She’s not asking for the apology in writing - she’s asking for a verbal apology that she got hurt.

Exactlab · 02/08/2024 19:14

BenchyMcBenchFace · 02/08/2024 19:00

I’ve never heard the like! Can’t believe you’re advocating family members suing each other (and for what? She wasn’t charged for her trip in the ambulance!) because of a nasty-but-ultimately-minor accident. Are you American or something?!?!

I think many people are giving their views on what they personally feel - not what the law actually says.

Yes, from a legal standpoint OP is liable and there is significant case law on this.

People in the US usually sue for injury because they can’t access universal healthcare so the legal route is the only recourse.

It’s not just an American thing. It is common for people in Germany to have insurance in case someone gets accidentally injured in their home.

If the OP’s sister requires significant dental work or a plastic surgeon to correct her nose then she could sue her sister to have her pay.

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