To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

I have this feature turned off everywhere I can because I have a friend who the second they see me active will start talking at me. And I’d I don’t reply they will hound me via another app or something and I just can’t deal with it. People are not owed my time instantly. I’ll reply if and when I’m ready to.

Mine are off, because otherwise my husband will send me inane messages like "shall I buy this bag of crisps?" and then send
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
because he can see I've read it and have not replied. Yes he knows it's irritating! He's just apparently incapable of making a decision on his own lol.

WhatsApp is a stalking app and you sound very much like a stalker

YABU. So unreasonable.

No one is obliged to read and respond to any messages straight away. We all have busy lives and seeing a message doesn't mean you have time or headspace to respond.

Turning off receipts just removes the agro for anxious/upright/demanding people deciding whether the time you have since reading a message/being online is too long or not.

I turned mine off as soon as I got WhatsApp, I've never looked back and encouraged everyone else I know to do the same ✌️

The problem is, seeing the blue tick doesn't mean it's been read.

If you message me I am likely to glance at the message if I'm at work or at the shops etc. if it's more than one line I likely won't actually read it at that time. But you will see the blue tick and assume I have read it and I'm now ignoring you. Which isn't the case at all.

Blue ticks are off.

You'll never know if I've read you message.

If someone sends me a snotty message on any medium I often will not answer quickly. Prefer to let them stew a bit and ruminant on the potential consequences of their actions - preferably over a week end if I am not interested in diffusing the situation. This really boils some peoples piss, especially if they are not sure whether they should have done it or not.

The type of people who get annoyed about read receipts, when people are online, how long they take to reply etc are always fucking loons.

I have my read receipts off and my privacy settings to maximum, precisely because of ridiculous experiences with people like the OP.

Unless it's super important I really don't see that it matters. If it's just a general chatty how are you message, I'd assume they've read it when they finally reply, whenever that is. If it's an important message/question that needs answering quickly (teens I'm looking at you) then it can be a pain if you don't know if it's been read.

I mean- lighthearted. Jesus.

I automatically assumed that those who have it turned off have read my message anyway, probably on preview. It annoys me too

I suspect it’s partly because they don’t want people to see when they were last on WhatsApp. I have a friend who is great in person, fine on text message but a weird, spammy nightmare on WhatsApp. I’ve put her on mute for a bit but I suspect she is checking when I (and others) were last on.

I would really like it if WhatsApp (or Meta) had the option to prevent people from leaving voice notes.

I have the blue ticks turned off.

The reason I do it is is that I hate the expectation that we’re always available to chat or respond to a message. I see a lot of people complain about being ‘left on read’, indicating that there is an expectation that the recipient of a message ought to reply immediately. People don’t like knowing that you have read their message and not replied; having read receipts off saves me from worrying about that.

It also helps me manage my own anxiety about other people seeing my messages. It’s freeing to not worry about whether they’ve seen it or not. It allows us both the grace to get on with our lives without that hanging over us.

I think it’s interesting that you describe it as controlling when people don’t have their read receipts on. Surely something can only be controlling if it forces you to change your own behaviour in some way?

I turned mine off.

DD asked me to put it back on again - she said it was weird not knowing if I'd read them - so I did.

I turn them off because of people like you tbh who I know are monitoring me and will expect me to jump to their tune regardless what I'm doing at the time.
I want to reply when I've got time to reply not fire something back the second I've read it because the sender will be pissed off if I don't.
If something is urgent the tiny WhatsApp machines also make phone calls.

I like the blue ticks as if i can see the message has been read then I am not always bothered about a reply just glad they have the information.

I do occasionally turn it off as i have a friend who can be overwhelming with messages, they are struggling and get upset if i dont reply quickly so turning it off makes life easier sometimes. Wheb i see others who leave unread i just assume they must have a group chat or person who is too much on whatsapp and don't take it personally.

🤣🤣🤣 perfectly put

Transparency is an interesting thing to bring up. I don't think there are many people in my life who I owe or am owed that level of transparency from. Do my casual acquaintances who I'll be meeting up with at the weekend have a right to know this instant if I am prioritising eating my lunch over replying to their messages? I don't think so, and I don't want to know that about them either.

I am not a government report, I'm a person trying to balance a million different priorities and I'm entitled to choose how I do that without circulating a timetable of how I manage my relationships with people.

I honestly think it's controlling to demand to know the instant someone has read a message. We live in a world where anyone can contact us at any time via god knows how many communication channels. People need to have the freedom to be able to determine when and how they reply without the anxiety or fear of expectations. Just because blue ticks were introduced as the default doesn't mean Whatsapp has the authority to dictate the new standard for communication in society, we decide that and, as you say, if I turn off blue ticks, I also can't see when my messages are read or not so it's not like I'm having my cake and eating it.

You mentioned transparency in another reply. No one owes anyone transparency, we're not government agencies, we're people! If I chose to not want someone else to know when I've read a message that I didn't ask them to send, that's my right. In a small way, I get what you're saying, it's frustrating when you don't get a reply to a message you see as important but you're way off the mark here.

By the way, I also think people who request read receipts for routine e-mails are the devil's spawn, but that's just me.

Why? Because I don't want to get a load of grief for not replying to a message right away.

Well I had an abusive ex who would send really nasty messages if he saw I had read but I didn't reply. Is that enough of a why?

This absolutely .

I turned mine off because certain recipients would infer things if I’d read the message but hadn’t replied or they’d seen when I was last online. I reply when I’ve got time/feel like it. Have to say I distanced myself from such people but still prefer the privacy

Yeah, in the nicest possible tone, I care not for your need to know if your message has been read or not. I do appreciate that in your world you are a very big deal, probably the most important person you know in fact, so I emphasise with why you’d think your message was so important that you’d like to keep tabs on developments.

But, and here’s the catch I’m afraid, you’re very unlikely to be such an equally big deal in my world, and that also might be applicable to your message. You may be one of many, some of whom I may find more interesting or urgent.

You’ve done your bit though by sending it, so well done you. But you can now stand down and occupy yourself with other pursuits.
The ball is now in my court and I’ll choose whether I read it, when I’ll read it, whether I’ll reply to it and if so when I’ll reply to it on my terms. Don’t worry though, I understand the concept of messaging and the mutual told we both play, but this stage of things is all on me. I’m accountable for the next bit, I know this.

The blue ticks is like having the postman standing in your porch, handing you the mail as you’re rushing out to the car and then just looking at you waiting for you to open it. It’s odd.
Equally, if I send you a message, a don’t give a chuff when you read it, the next time I’ll think about is if a reply from you comes through. If I don’t get one I’ll either chase up or accept a non response.

I turn all this bollocks off and put max privacy / minimal visibility settings on all tech stuff.
Like the ‘last time I was seen’ thing 😂😂😂
You're a fucking messaging tool not an elite SAS surveillance operative, so just stick to delivering messages like a good little app and wind your neck in.

I turned mine off exactly because of people like you OP, who started demanding why I hadn't replied when they knew I'd seen it.

I think if you drill down into it you can see they’ve read it anyway.

Low level annoys me too 😆 lol I find it controlling that people want to hide they’ve read a message. I mean why hide it 🤣🤣WHY?! 😬