To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

Brilliant analysis, thank you@Marblessolveeverything

I have the CHOICE to turn off read receipts and last seen and I do because I don’t want people to go “she can read my message but not reply or she was online 10mins ago but didn’t bother to read my message” etc.

i think people forget that my mobile phone is for MY convenience and i will reply to messages when I choose to do so.

and you may see my choice as controlling- it is my right to choose how much access a person has to me and this includes read receipts.

Thanks for this thread. I didn’t know you could turn them off both on WhatsApp and MS Teams, I’ve turned off for both and feel better already. I hate the pressure of having read something and being expected to respond immediately. If someone’s that desperate to contact me, I’d prefer they give me a call.

Because I don't want you prompting me to reply if I haven't responded 'quick enough'. I'll decide when it's convenient for me to reply thanks.

If it's something time-sensitive like booking tickets for something and I haven't replied yet, call me.

We have colleagues who do that in teams too.

IMO it shows either a lack of confidence or a manipulative personality. They either bend easily to a pressure to reply, or are trying to manipulate the context somehow by denying they have read it yet.

If I read a message I have no problem with the person knowing I have read it but have chosen not to answer immediately for whatever reason.

I didn’t know I could do this - how do I turn off the blue ticks?

Mine are off. I haven’t even really got a reason apart from that I don’t want other people knowing if I’ve read a message or not 🤷🏻‍♀️. I also am not arsed about knowing whether someone has read my message. I assume they’ll reply if they want to, or not if they don’t.

My blue ticks are off because sometimes I'll read a message and then not have time or the desire to reply in that moment. I'm busy with work and a baby, so those are my priorities.

When I had blue ticks on I'd get follow up messages like "??" Or "hellooooo?" which frankly piss me off. I'll respond in my own time and don't like to be pestered!

I do have a problem with not knowing if they've seen it.

Honestly, that is way more a you problem than anyone else's problem. You really need to ask yourself why it bothers you so much. It is HIGHLY controlling to want to know when people have read your message. What did you do in the days before WhatsApp enabled this feature?

Mine are off because I absolutely hate the kind of batshittery of people who think because I've read their message I should immediately reply. One too many "why have you left me on read?" messages from needy, chronically online people in my life was enough.

Nobody is obligated to be available to you 100% of the time.

I've turned mine off.

I don't want to feel pressured to reply immediately. I may be having a day of hiding from the world or not want to answer straight away because I need to consider my reply.

It seems that everyone wants immediacy. Well, sorry, I'm human, not an AI chatbot.

@PrincessOfPreschool I turn mine off as I work on the basis that if something is important, then the person messaging me will phone me. WhatsApp, SMS and email are all low priority methods of communication. I feel that turning read receipts off assists other people to understand the way I use my phone, and will help them to phone me if something is important. If they message any other way, I'll answer when it suits me.

I turn mine off my own mental health and well being, because I have people in my life who expect replies quicker than I can do, who do things like see me online on WhatsApp and 10.02 and then get angry that I haven't replied or read their message by 10.10.

I have various health problems that affect my ability to get my words in order at times and getting shitty comments about how it would only have taken me a few moment to reply made me feel stupid and like a shit person because it takes me longer at times. I grew up with adults teaching me I must be emotionally available to everyone at all time, prioritise their feelings and wants and if I didn't I'd be punished.

I have really low self esteem and very poor boundaries, a childhood shaped by adults who didn't allow me my own feelings or emotions and who were explosive with moods and sometimes violent, sometimes towards me. Every decision I made that they didn't like I'd be guilted into changing my mind.

I had very high levels of anxiety all my life and never really realised that's what it was because it's been there since toddlerhood, worrying about upsetting people I love made me develop a very unhealthy people pleasing mindset and would make myself physically ill with anxiety and stress and negative thoughts about myself. It's taken me until my 40s to and therapy to realise how fucked up my beliefs about myself are.

I am not "weirdly controlling" turning my ticks off, it was one of the very few small steps on a very long road to actually not being controlled. It's interesting how you think people have turned them off to stop you from seeing them. Why do you feel it's done to prevent you seeing the read status instead of something just generally turning them off for their own reasons?

As many have said. People turn the blue ticks off because of people like you.

Because I don’t want the pressure of having to reply immediately if I’ve read a message. I don’t show when I was last online for the same reason.

Mine are off because I had a person in my life who expected immediate reply would go on all the different messenger platforms and see if I was online if they didn't get a reply on one and then I'd be sent a load of abusive messages about how awful I was. It was horrible and even the sound of a message coming through would make me anxious. Thankfully no longer have this person in my life .

I have all my read receipts off, and my last online status!

Honestly I think everything has come too far. Some apps pinpoint your location, the exact time you were last online at, and whether or not you have read a message. And worse still, some people contacting you actually check all of these things regularly until they get a reply. Where's the sense of privacy? Why is it so vital for you to know whether I've read the message? Its all too much.Bring back the Blockia!!!

For other apps such as my work app, I read the messages outside of hours and base the need to reply on importance. If there's a read receipt, there's more pressure to reply out of hours.

I turned mine off for the opposite reason. Many years ago I was dating a guy and I could feel him drifting away. Seeing that he had read my messages but not replied was driving me crazy. I knew it was unreasonable, he was probably just busy, so I turned off the ability to see when people are online and have read messages before I got into an unhealthy spiral of checking if he'd read my messages. Never turned it back on again. Consequently no one can see if I've read their messages either but I'm not too bothered either way about that.

It’s handy for school stuff eg parties so you can see if someone knows something is on for example- didn’t know you could switch it off!!

I just think it's transparent if someone knows a message has been read or not.

No-one owes you transparency though, just because you prefer things one way, not everyone has to fall in line. How did you cope before whatsapp where you couldn't tell if someone read your message/email/whatever?

It's a shame you can't selectively turn off read receipts though. I am happy for my close friends and family to know I have read a message, but not so much random school mums harassing for playdates or work people asking inane questions. So I turn it off for everyone,,

Because I don’t want the intrusion of people knowing when I read their message and I don’t need to know when they read mine. For me it just adds to the constant comms and social media immediacy of everything. I would prefer to turn it off for group messages but I don’t think you can. I think when a friend said she could see I was online at 4am it felt a bit too much…

This!