To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

Instead you get ‘is everything ok?’ follow ups from people getting anxious or annoyed that you’ve read and not replied.

And your reply confirms I would be justified in being anxious about people’s views because they’ll go out of their way to interpret completely benign or neutral behaviours as manipulation or lack of confidence!

I have gone through life generally assuming the best of people and not assuming malicious intent in their actions and it has served me well, you should try it.

I certainly don’t have any personal problem with leaving messages unread but having had people follow up with questions about whether I’m ignoring them or if they’ve annoyed me (very much betraying the insecurity of the people who NEED TO KNOW their message has been read) I’ve decided it’s a world less hassle just to switch the damn things off.

This is true, but WhatsApp did for a while put an end to all those "did you get my text?" follow ups.

😂😂😂

It isn't negative it is my opinion based on what I believe is sound logic. Your very own reply confirms you do it due to worrying about pressure and anxiety to reply which indicates a confidence issue? So kinda confirms my point 🤷‍♀️

If you want to share a counter opinion, instead of having a meaningless dig at me for no reason, I am open to others views.

Yes I bloody hate it.

Loads of my friends do it.

Mine are off because I’ll decide when to reply to someone. My life is busy I don’t have time to reply straight away sometimes or I just don’t want to reply straight away. I hate when people chase a message up that requires no immediate reply. Then get pissed if about being ignored. Far easier to have them off. If you don’t like that, tough shit

One of my adult DCs has his turned off. I don't really expect replies to most messages - absent some emergency. But I would like to see 'last active' time. That's just me being a worrier though. It's not my place to decide.

It's nobody's business but mine when I read or reply to messages. A text is not a summons. I'll answer in my own sweet time.

It’s weird to categorise it as secrecy, as if there is something furtive about it.

It may be that you’re quite young but this expectation that everyone knows exactly when you’re online and when you last checked WhatsApp and whether you’ve viewed messages etc. is a very new phenomenon and I have no faith that it’s a healthy development. There isn’t any need for us to have this much involvement or insight into one another’s lives. Only a very few years ago people happily sent texts with no way of knowing if they had been read, and we all survived and had significantly fewer issues regarding anxiety and mental ill-health.

There’s nothing secretive about deciding that you simply don’t fancy participating in this brand new social experiment where your behaviour is tracked and shared in real time with friends, family and acquaintances. I would argue it’s quite normal and understandable for people to be wary of that.

You really seriously need to reflect on your misunderstanding of control. You are equating a person's notification settings on their phone with secrecy.

Very concerning behaviour and honesty it would fit the criteria in a relationship as being abusive.

My lovely DIL has her blue ticks off-she said it stressed her out and felt pressured.

My DS has his off because he works in cybersecurity and as a result has pretty much come off of social media/removed the ticks. Don't think he likes thinking ppl know his movements/when he is online etc

Another who laughed at the irony of you not seeing how controlling is it to want to know if and when someone has read your message or not.

I have them turned off and also my notifications so I only see new messages if I actually go on WhatsApp. It might sound dramatic but my life is better for it and my mind is calmer.

I have hundreds of unread messages on WhatsApp, a few from individuals but mostly from the many groups I’ve been added to - usually without asking my permission first. Several are for work and many were added with parenthood. Yes, I could just leave those ones - I couldn’t just leave my work ones I’ve been told - but I stay to be polite and in the loop with plans for play dates and things. When life is hectic enough, I don’t want the added pressure or chore to have to reply to others fairly quickly because they’ve seen I’ve read their message.

Well id definitely ignore those people

I have mine on but have the 'online' function off.

I think your insistence that others have it on is fat more controlling than those who turn it off.

I hate society's current want of constant and immediate communication.

You’re lucky enough to only ever receive messages from sane and reasonable people but on more than one occasion I’ve had someone follow up a message to ask if they’ve annoyed me or why I’m ignoring them when I’ve read a message and not replied right away.

The blue ticks make people needy and deranged. By turning them off I don’t have to deal with the issue and I’m saving them from ‘left on read’ anxiety.

Is it people doing it to themselves though? I don't know how you can argue that when some people are affronted by others turning the blue ticks off. To the extent they call it controlling and manipulative behaviour no less!! If you want the blue ticks on it's because you want to know whether people have read your messages. Therefore people DO care about that information? If there is genuinely no pressure and nobody cares, why the need for anyone to have their blue ticks on?

My blue ticks are on, but I have turned off my last online status. It’s such a welcome feature because if I haven’t replied to a message, you can’t see I’ve been online and just ignored it. (I don’t ignore messages, I just sometimes need a minute)

Why would you feel pressured to reply though? I certainly don't, it's not difficult to read a message and think " I deal with that later" If there's any pressure then it's you doing it to yourself

See it's my partner or son I usually Whatsapp. And usually to tell them something they need to know so if the blue ticks are turned off then I don't know if they have the info or ot.

I turned mine off. Those blue ticks fuck with people's minds. I also don't need anyone to know if I'm online. It's called privacy!

I have a few needy friends and relatives who can't bear it when their messages are read and not immediately replied to. Turning it off is best for everyone imo!

I turned mine off so that I don't feel pressured to answer straight away. Some.friends feel it's OK to message late at night, I have to keep my phone on due to elderly parents but sometimes I just want some downtime and don't want to get into conversations late in the evening when some friends have a habit of messaging so it gives me the chance to screen messages. However, one friend then messaged me querying why it was off (asking as a mutual friend also had hers off) and why I did that it made me feel awkward and they are back on again now. So instead my phone is on do not disturb between 9pm and 6am and parents ring DH if they need anything

The world is full of insane people who really go out of their way to interpret things in the most negative and unreasonable way possible 😂

YABU. Take it up with them in person if it annoys you so much, instead of moaning on here!🙄

I don't think it's as controlling to want the blue ticks on as that's the default option.

I don't get this at all. So, if the default were 'off' then having it 'on' would be controlling?

Incidentally, the reason that the default is 'on' is that Whatsapp wants you to 'engage' and having engaged 'interact'. And the best way to do that is to let you see whether something has changed. So...

...they haven't read it...

...they haven't read it...

...they haven't read it...

..they've read it!

Which means that you keep looking at your own message, to see whether the tick has changed colour. And when it does, you keep looking to see whether there's a reply yet.

So you're right in a way. You may not be controlling by having the blue ticks on. But it's possible that you're being controlled by it.