To be annoyed at people who turn off 'read' receipts on WhatsApp?

Yep this. It’s absolutely no one’s business when I’ve read their message, how long ago I was online etc. it won’t make me answer any quicker - I’ll reply when I’m ready!

I’ve always had all my settings as private. I don’t care what time someone read my message so why do they care when I read theirs? 🤷‍♀️

This! I’ve never had the blue ticks. I think it’s so weird.

This. Hence why I'm confused about why people turn of read receipts (although until this thread i didn't actually know you could lol)

Not a fan of the assumption that you have to reply to a phone call, message etc. It’s a choice.

I haven't done this but completely understand why people do. These days you're expected to be at people's call 24/7. If someone sees the blue ticks they expect an immediate response.

It will be "last cleaned the kitchen sink" or "last took a shit" next - fuck off Big Brother

Ranting over (I'm projecting)

And my "last online" is definitely OFF. A friend asked what I was doing at 5am once. Fuck right off!!!! I discovered last online can be switched off and did it straightaway - the cheek of it! And I'm not remotely interested in when someone else was "last online".

I keep mine on because I want to know my children have seen my messages. It's often about collecting from railway stations and if they've not seen it I will call them!

However several of my contacts have theirs turned off. I quite like this because I know that it works both ways, and they won't see if I've read their message yet either.... I quite like it when I add a new contact and they have blue ticks set to OFF.

Well, exactly, and the second group are unlikely to have happy relationships or happy lives.

That is something that has come along with modern technology though. 80 years ago people would have had to ‘cope with uncertainty’ as there would have been no way of knowing if someone had received your letter, for example, unless they decided to reply.

this reminds me of the idea of being in a relationship with someone that tries to control you

There is obviously a divide between those who can cope with uncertainty and those who can't.

A colleague of mine, who is pretty useless anyway, has turned off the read receipt thingy in Teams which drives me nuts. She’s bad enough at replying to important messages anyway, now I don’t even know if she’s read them!

I agree - this is a weird thing to think. It's very rare to just drop dead and why on earth would you assume that just because someone hasn't read your message they must be dead? arent they allowed to be just busy?

But if your friend in another country did, as you put it, drop dead-what exactly could you do about it?

It's for your friends who live alone to worry about that, not you.

“I want and sometimes need to know when someone has read my WhatsApp message. I need to know when it's a work thing so that I can phone instead. Sometimes the 'last online' thing is helpful when you're worried a friend might have dropped dead (living alone / in another country)."

As others have said, blue ticks just mean the message has been opened, they don’t guarantee it’s been read. People can click on a message by accident, desktop apps can mark messages as read when the recipient isn’t even in the building.
You could ask people to acknowledge messages, if it’s important, rather than monitoring their activity and coming to (possibly incorrect) conclusions based on blue ticks or their ‘last seen’ time.

“It's not about controlling these people. It's like saying you're controlling to want to know when your tracked Royal Mail parcel was delivered. Do the recipients of the parcels object to this?”

Royal Mail telling you your parcel has been delivered is the equivalent of two grey ticks. You know their phone is on, they have signal, and the message has arrived.
I don’t object to that.
I would object to a tracking service that automatically notifies the sender as soon as I start to open the parcel, though.

I turned my read receipts, last seen and online status off one day when I was very busy, but one of my children was messaging about something important to them. While dealing with that, I had a message from a friend asking why I hadn’t looked at what she’d sent hours earlier, pointing out that I was “constantly online”. I didn’t have time to chat, I had to prioritise what I was doing, but seeing I was online and not communicating led to her feeling like I was ignoring her.
The ability to track my activity felt intrusive, and was causing unnecessary stress that could easily be avoided by changing a couple of settings.

Nobody needs to know when I’m engaged in conversation with other people, when I've clicked on a message, or when I last opened an app. It seems removing the option for people to monitor when I’ve looked at my phone is considered weirdly controlling and secretive (or, my personal favourite, demonstrates “a lack of confidence or a manipulative personality”) by some on here though 🤷‍♀️

I agree it’s a controlling mechanism and a way for some people to ‘keep tabs’ on others which is unacceptable! I turned mine off because family members with nothing better to do were just stalking me!

"can understand people not wanting these WhatsApp features, but wonder why they'd use WA when they don't want the features - features which I consider to be benefits."

you consider them benefits - but not everyone does. I don't. I see these features as a sign of the stress of modern times. People expect instant responses these days and get so worked up when they know someone has read a message but not responded to it. Rather than just waiting for a response.

Personally I only use WhatsApp if that's the preferred communication method for others. It is good for group stuff. But one to one, I would still use text.

I can understand people not wanting these WhatsApp features, but wonder why they'd use WA when they don't want the features

I use WA mainly because that’s what others use. It would be weird if someone whatsapped me and I replied via text message, wouldn’t it? Also when friends set up groups they tend to be on WA. It’s a free messaging service 🤷🏻‍♀️, I couldn’t care less about its other features.

@RogueFemale I only started using it because of mum‘s neighbours helping her out. It meant that we communicate with each other across the group. It’s good for groups generally.

I would have preferred that friends continue to text, but they wanted to use WhatsApp. No one has ever objected to not seeing the blue tick though.

I also discovered it copes quite well with large file sizes.

But generally, I thought the popularity of WhatsApp started with the fact that it was Internet based. No charges for calling or messaging from abroad etc

My DM is like that too🤣

@RogueFemale a royal mail tracked parcel is the equivalent of TWO GREY TICKS which means the message has delivered to the person!! It is NOT the same as two blue ticks, which would be knowing that someone has taken the parcel in their hands, opened it and looked at whatever is inside!!!

I'm in Team OP. I want and sometimes need to know when someone has read my WhatsApp message. I need to know when it's a work thing so that I can phone instead. Sometimes the 'last online' thing is helpful when you're worried a friend might have dropped dead (living alone / in another country).

It's not about controlling these people. It's like saying you're controlling to want to know when your tracked Royal Mail parcel was delivered. Do the recipients of the parcels object to this?

I can understand people not wanting these WhatsApp features, but wonder why they'd use WA when they don't want the features - features which I consider to be benefits.

Tbf I did this in my previous job where personal time was not respected - I would be messaged constantly on days off, when I was busy, at home etc - I would glance at a message to see if it was something urgent.

If I didn’t reply immediately would then be hassled with follow-up messages “can you reply to my holiday request I sent you fifteen mins ago for my trip to Tenerife in 2026.” Etc. My line manager was also notoriously bad for expecting responses whenever they sent a message - they didn’t need to know I had seen her text at 11.30pm but had decided it was perfectly reasonable not to respond.