To think entertainers should not pick people out of the crowd

I'm not sure what your OP is asking – that entertainers shouldn't pick people out or they shouldn't continue to encourage them after they've said no? I think the latter is the unreasonable one, not the former.

It's a good learning opportunity for your daughter to stand her ground (and presumably you are there too to back her up?). She still come across many scenarios in life where she might be badgered into something she doesn't want to do.

I agree with you OP. In part because quite often such entertainment is filmed, with or without the entertainer's knowledge.

People don't need specialist training to recognise and understand the word 'no'.

Urgh, I'm totally with you on this. I attended a " mentalist/ hypnosis " show recently where I knew there would be a fair amount of participation involved as it relies on people to make the show. I believed this would be entirely voluntary and therefore, as a introverted person with anxiety didn't have any misgivings about attending. I couldn't have been more wrong. We were picked out one by one and made to participate in silly dancing/ mind games/ hypnotized to believe we were a contestant in a game show/ bantered with and told to tell a funny joke.... On and on all night. It was horrible. The extroverted types loved it, but I wasn't the only one looking like they wanted the ground to swallow them up. I spent the entire night sweating about when it was my turn to go the front.

Why would a red coat/ entertainer not understand that some people are introverted and some extroverted? It’s not rocket science is it!

Just tell her that they wouldn't do that to a child and not to worry. They do try it on with the adults, I agree.
Reassure her that if in the unlikely scenario she is picked to 'volunteer' then you as the parent will give a firm 'no'.

I had this happen to me in one of the Dungeons, can't remember which. I wouldn't go back now, I was at the back of the group and obviously trying to avoid being singled out, which I suppose may have made me more of a target, but you would hope that someone obviously looking worried and keeping out the way would be left alone!
It's fine to ask, but the first "no" should be accepted, I'm sure in such audiences there are plenty people who would love to go on stage without forcing someone who is clearly uncomfortable.

In the waiting area for Lapland U.K. there’s FAR too much participation/ interaction from the characters there they seemed to pick out certain’big folk’ it was horrendous I literally had to go and hide (I’m autistic) I was terrified of being targeted as they were relentless and very over the top

I agree people should be free to say no and it's unfair and uncomfortable to watch if a "no" isn't accepted and a person is co-erced.

I'm sure there would be volunteers.
I would also hate to be picked out of an audience/crowd for something like this.

In your shoes, I would reassure your daughter that if she was picked, you would absolutely stand up for her and say that she doesn't want to and doesn't have to go up there. Any entertainer who purposely tried to make a child uncomfortable about that is a shit entertainer and I would make a complaint.

I live in a city that is currently overrun with street performers. I've noticed over the last couple of years that when they have a child participate they also check that the parents/accompanying adults are okay with it, so presumably there is a safeguarding policy.

The issue is that it's completely irrelevant. I can kind of understand it if you're going to be working together in groups/collaboratively etc., as then it's good to know something about the people you'll be working with. But when it's a lecture, it's completely pointless and just wasting time.

I absolutely hate this sort of thing so agree with you. And if they've said no then No means No

waste the first 30 minutes going around the room making everyone introduce themselves and gave some information.

I disagree with you here, just asking for your name and a few professional details is not asking you to become a circus act or even put you on the spot. In a professional setting, what's the issue.

Definitely should respect your decision. If you say no, then no it is and they should move on. They certainly shouldn't bully you or make a big deal out of it.

I'm exactly the same and hate it, and I'm 60! I've adopted various strategies, such as "being busy" with say a camcorder, so clearly giving off the "go away" vibe as they approach. Or in one case, in Austria, they were coming around doing local dancing with everyone and I just stood up and went to the loo as they approached. More recently, I just give them a firm head shake and a "look" if they seem to be heading my way and most just walk past. If they don't then it's a very firm "no"!

I've started being the same with professional training courses. You know the kind of madness where they waste the first 30 minutes going around the room making everyone introduce themselves and gave some information. I just now firmly say "no, I'm not doing that". Funnily enough, I've noticed other people doing the same now. Just get on with the sodding course!

I think as you get older, you're less willing to put up with this kind of nonsense and certainly less willing to put up with being bullied/forced into something you don't want to do.

Completely agree. First no they should move on. And can we add dancing at weddings or any event to the list where no means no to participation.

I would mention it to the hotel. It’s not acceptable and it certainly shouldn’t be causing a child anxiety. I also would hate this, but I like to think that if I just vigorously shook my head no they would accept that and move on instead of badgering people till they give in.

Totally agree. If the person refuses, they should ‘t be pressurised in joining in, or made fun of for not joining in. They should just move on.

On our cruise last winter they asked for volunteers during the break for the "game show" slot and went through what would be asked of them, I was asked, refused and they went onto the next table. The entertainers in the hotels tend to be a bit more pushy but not with the kids, it was hands up for them

Totally agree, no one should feel forced to do this, but are you sure this is not a ‘set-up’ and the supposedly reluctant pressed-man is not the Magician’s stooge, silting in the audience to trick you in to thinking they’re not part of the act? It’s a common practice with stage magicians, and the show of reluctance is all part of the act.

On a cruise this year and there was a comedy/ magic act. The comedian wanted 3 adult volunteers and only asked those who put their hands up, it was a big theatre. Surely this is the way to do it.

Yanbu. I was reading recently about the York Dungeons, they have actors and interactive scenarios, but they've said to let them know if you don't want to be picked and they'll make sure you're not (I don't know how, perhaps a badge or something?). On stage is a bit different though, as PPs have said he should just ask for volunteers.

I think you're the one who doesn't understand the difference between introverts and extroverts. I'm a extrovert but I would hate to be chosen to go up on stage. Extroversion simply means you gain energy from spending time around people, it doesn't mean you want all attention on you. Can't believe that people still don't understand this!

Anyway, aside from that YANBU.

No means no. You seriously want me to believe that out of ALL the industries, that performers don't realise INNATELY that there are some people who don't like being on stage?
They push it because it makes them look bad if no-one comes on stage. Imagine if no-one volunteered to go up for a magician's trick... their show would fail.

From primary school, you can see, without diversity training (God that's such a cop-out), that there are people who don't like being picked for things.

Your reply was rude. I merely extrapolated your response as your justification could be used for anything. Any time someone says no, outside the realms of legality, it should mean no, without the need for your lazy excuse of 'training'.