MIL massive stroke 3 days before holiday

That's good. I hope he can go, this is his family now and a special holiday you've been looking forward to. His brother is right.

I would go if you think your dh is supported by his family.
with regard to going on your own- Santorini is a safe place. I went solo with my 9 year old to Rome earlier in year and it was great bonding for the 2 of us.
is there the option of transferring his ticket to a friend of yours?

The brother is a star 🌟
Fingers crossed she continues to be stable and you get to enjoy your holiday.

It sounds badly needed.

I think you made the right decision, it will be a change of scene for both you and DH, especially given his recent illness too. He has been in attendance and will be again when the holiday is over. His brother sounds very kind and they will be able to support each other which is a blessing.
It's a difficult time for all DH's family but it would be difficult for him where ever he was. I found in those situations that it was so comforting to have your DC with you. Things like this make you realise that all your time is precious, you are both doing something kind for your dear DC and you have your BILs blessing.
I hope you both have a relaxing break and are better fortified to deal with the situation when you return. Best wishes.

Good for your brother in law. I'm glad your DH let himself be persuaded. I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Good @NoSourDough I hope you all have a lovely time

Brilliant. Have a lovely holiday x

I think that is the right call by your DH for what it's worth @NoSourDough I hope you can all reasonably enjoy your holiday, in spite of thinking about your MILs situation. But none of you can do anything and your MIL won't know who is there, or not if she's non-responsive.

My situation was different to yours - but lots of similarities too. I was on the point of a nervous breakdown dealing with my elderly Mother, who was always a very difficult lady, very selfish and very self-centred, but I did my best for her which was never enough sadly. I desperately, desperately needed the holiday I went on - and for once the last time I saw her had been a good visit.

She too had a stroke, and after much thought I decided not to rush home again, because I couldn't see what help I could be. She had other family who hardly ever saw her, but they were pulling out all the stops, for once, to be with her in the hospital. So she was not alone. She died on the day we were coming home, but before we got there. I am sad she died, but I have never regretted that decision. For me, it was the right thing to do.

You should go this could be an amazing mum daughter bonding moment without a man hanging around. You could go to the spa and have a real girls holiday

Santorini is a bit like a purpose-built theme park on a pretty Greek island minus the rides. You will be fine.The biggest threat is from hundreds of Instagrammers trying to get the best selfie of themselves in front of a blue domed-church or the sunset…

Wishing your family well and hope your husband is okay. I would go and I would want my husband to go if the situation was reversed.

Just read your post that she was a cowbag to her children. Definitely go. She doesn’t deserve to negatively impact any more lives.

Go!! There’s nothing you can do to help whilst she’s in hospital and your DH has his brother for support. You would be back before a funeral.

OP, whatever solution you and your DH choose is the right one.

You know your DH and family best. Don't let people put their own interpretation of how they might deal with it shame you. Everyone deals with this differently.

Having experienced hospital deathbed scenarios several times.
It's very unpredictable. But when the person has been in decline for some time, then their closest relatives have had time to visit many times and also to come to terms with it and it sounds like your DH and BIL have had a chance to do that.

People can be given days and then carry on for months.

For your 12 year old, it can be a very very different experience to seeing Granny for a visit when she's awake and responsive.

I would go. Your mil has both of her sons with her. It won't be the holiday you imagined but it'll still be a holiday and it will give you time with your dd.

But I don't have a partner so I can't put myself in your situation.

My sympathies to you and your DH.

OP has stated this will be the first time their DD has travelled on a plane and is looking forward to it. OP has stated travel insurance won’t cover them if they cancel outright. I get the feeling this was a much longed for family holiday abroad and they may have saved for this experience. I agree there may be other holidays in the future but the fact OP is considering going with her DD alone tells me something. I don’t think think there will be enough in the pot to jet-off for October half-term for a family holiday.

Oh OP what an awful situation to be in. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer but I think typically the insurance/travel companies are being horrendous. Have you tried to speak with your GP to see if they can write a letter getting your DH out on health reasons? Might be worth a try.
I think I’d need to stay with DH. The death of a difficult parent can often be more painful than the death of a nice one. Hope whichever you decide works out well for you or as well as can be expected x

But be aware that Greece won’t be guaranteed to be hot in October

I think I'd try Jet2 again. Lay it on thick, DH unwell, MIL at deaths door, first ever foreign holiday and see if they can move it.

It sounds like DH is going to need a holiday when this is over

I stand corrected.

Hence the hasty edit, but the advice is the same.

@TeaGinandFags DD is 12 not a toddler

Go.

Hubby says go, then go.

DH is sitting by his Mum's bedside to wait for the end. He will be with his family and reminisce. You and little one can do bugger all and will end up getting in the way. (Don't mean to be rude but preteens can be taxing.)

Greece is a child loving country. You will receive nothing but help and affection from the locals.

You will be perfectly safe. If you drop your bag, chances are someone will hand it to you. People who come a cropper on hols tend to do so late at night when drunk. You'll be tucked up in bed long before anything interesting can happen to you.

It would be a shame to waste all that money. Take a friend, if you can, but enjoy the sunshine and ouzo.

Go.

(Edited as misread 12 yr old for younger)

At 12 your daughter will be more of a companion that a child. You can work things out together.

Santorini is quite a high end tourist destination, you’ll be absolutely fine. Go enjoy yourselves. Although I think it’s an odd choice with a 12 year old. It’s very high end honeymoon destination, don’t remember much for kids. Boat trip could be fun.

End of life following a severe stroke is very difficult to predict, might be a week, might be a month or more. If your DH is telling you to go and feels he has sufficient support from your BIL then go. It might actually be better for your DC not to be around as depending on age it could be very upsetting to see your MIL as she is so ill and even more so than pre the 2nd stroke and also be around other very ill people on end of life.

The only thing you do need to agree on is whether you would fly home if your MIL passed while you were away - before you go.