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Original poster

MIL massive stroke 3 days before holiday

387 replies

NoSourDough · 01/08/2024 08:35

We are due to fly to Greece tomorrow evening.

MIL (79) had a serious (second) stroke on Tuesday morning. The first one was 2 years ago, she has been bed ridden since that first one with limited speech and mobility.

We saw her Sunday morning and she was fine (she was still living at home with my BIL and carers coming in 4 times a day) but sadly had another stroke on Tuesday.

Shes in hospital and unresponsive, consultant yesterday said it’s doubtful she will come out of hospital. It’s palliative now however a waiting game.

DH morally cannot leave his brother or MIL and come on holiday (understandably). Travel insurance will not cover this third party event (we have checked).

We have a 12 year old DD who has never been on a plane before and has been looking forward to this holiday for months.

DH insists that I should take her whilst he stays here. I feel like MIL could be in this condition for weeks, perhaps he could come but I understand that would be unreasonable. His brother is telling him to come but DH won’t do it.

Should I travel alone for 10 days to Greece with DD? What would you do?

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 01/08/2024 08:40

Take DD to Greece on your own. It’s a no-brainer. It’s perfectly reasonable that your DH wants to be there for his seriously ill mother.

VictoryOrDeath · 01/08/2024 08:40

Just to add - I'd want to decide before I went whether I'd come home or not if the worst happened while I was away. I'd actually be a No I think.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 01/08/2024 08:39

Santorini is lovely and there will be no issues safety wise travelling there with your daughter!!

Eyelashesoffire · 01/08/2024 08:39

I would go with DD if you feel DH has enough support at home. I'm surprised the insurance won't pay but admittedly don't have any experience with this.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 01/08/2024 08:39

Yes take her, I would understand if your husband came but I also fully understand he wants to be there when his mother passes and to support his brother. Also at twelve it'll be nice for the two of you to be away not like holidaying with a toddler alone. If your DH says he's ok at home, go

Wayk · 01/08/2024 08:38

Check what would be the cost to fly home if she passed. Also ensure your husband will not be resentful later on if you go,

VictoryOrDeath · 01/08/2024 08:38

I'd go, but I'd have to make peace with the fact that MIL might pass while I was away with DS. You've seen her recently, and you don't know how long the situation could stay like this. Your DH has his brother for support, and you can stay in touch with him while you're away.

I'm sorry you're all going through this.

Original poster
NoSourDough · 01/08/2024 08:38

Thank you - just to add, how would you feel about travelling alone with a child? We are going to Santorini. Would you feel safe? I’m a little nervous.

OP posts:
Dontmesswithmyhead · 01/08/2024 08:38

Go.

Although when my MIL was ill our travel insurance definitely covered us.

Petesbowtie9 · 01/08/2024 08:37

You should go , most grandparents would want the GC to go rather be sat bereft at a bedside . Life is for the living

mynameiscalypso · 01/08/2024 08:37

I would follow your DH's lead here.

AliBalliBoo · 01/08/2024 08:36

Go.