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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think he should not have called me a c*nt!

138 replies

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 07:36

Morning all,

Last night I was cycling home from a friend's house. I forgot my lights, so cycled when it was still relatively light, but by the time I was within about 10 minutes of my flat it was quite dark and the roads were busy. I wouldn't normally do this but the roads near my flat are really busy and people drive really fast, so I started cycling on the pavement as they are relatively wide and no one was around.

There was a man on the pavement outside a shop. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre on either side of him, and I slowed down and moved my handlebars to move to the left. So he moved to the left. So I moved my handlebars to move to the right, and he moved to the right. I stopped, planning to get off my bike and wheel it past him.

He shouted 'just fuck off, fuck off!' I was shocked, and involuntarily scowled. He then shouted 'yes that's right just fuck off, don't fucking scowl at me you cunt!'

I just stood still looking at him and then he went into the shop. I then cycled past.

I know I was in the wrong for cycling on the pavement (even if very slowly and only when no-one around) but I think his reaction was completely out of order.

Side note: I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly. On the rest of my ride home I saw no fewer than 4 men who were clearly unwell shouting in the street, at themselves and others. I don't understand why nothing is done about this. I know lots of people say 'oooh, that's just LONDON, I don't bat an EYELID!', but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city!

YABU - you shouldn't have been on the pavement, get some lights you silly moo

YANBU - you should never call a woman a cunt

OP posts:
Timinfuckingruislip · 01/08/2024 09:29

After your update I sort of agree with him to be honest.

You don’t get to decide to break the law because you “assessed the risk” - and obviously wrongly because you did encounter someone didn’t you?

Also you cannot cycle slowly enough that it’s not scary to a pedestrian who will encounter you. Grow up.

Redruby2020 · 01/08/2024 09:27

Not nice that he did that, but yes those who ride on the pavements drive me mad along with those on scooters etc.
I can certainly agree that it has got a lot worse in London, I'm sure in other parts too, but going by what's happening in London.

I was walking to a store only just recently, and a guy was ahead of me I realised as I got closer that something was not right with him, just the way he was dressed and just stood there, but as he saw someone coming he moved, and as I got nearer he came towards me and said 'you are the ugliest I have seen/or ugly as f*' I can't remember which exactly.
Anyway obviously I ignored him and carried on.
But it isn't nice and is frightening.
What also annoys me is when people throw mental health in to it, but they only approach women for example or certain people, so they know exactly what they are doing!

OdeToBarney · 01/08/2024 09:27

Ponkpinkpink15 · 01/08/2024 08:50

@OdeToBarney

Travelling by bike isn't a privilege. (Well other than having the health to do so)

No there wasn't anything to stop her pushing her bike, but I certainly wouldn't push a bike when I could ride it.

Show quote history

I disagree on the privilege point, by whatever. You are clearly as selfish (and happy to break the law) as the OP 🤷‍♀️

Polarnight · 01/08/2024 09:26

If you must cycle on a pavement the moment you see a pedestrian you ought to dismount and push the bike. Not faff around with trying to swerve around a pedestrian.

Get off the bike!

JJathome · 01/08/2024 09:25

CoralReader · 01/08/2024 09:23

I don’t think he abused her

Show quote history

Ok. Personally I think shouting fuck off and calling someone a cunt is abusive. You don’t. We agree to disagree.

Butwhybecause · 01/08/2024 09:25

I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly

Yeah! Like riding bikes on pavements meant for pedestrians!

Oh, the irony.

ChubSeedsYorkie · 01/08/2024 09:25

He was probably fed up of people like you thinking it’s ok to cycle on the pavements tbh.

Also cycling slowly on a pavement doesn’t make it right. The tone of your post seems to suggest you think it was ok because you were cycling slowly. If you don’t have lights then you get off and walk with your bike not cycle on pavements.

Butwhybecause · 01/08/2024 09:23

It's not a nice word (vile in fact).

But you were most definitely in the wrong and he was probably shocked to meet a cyclist on the pavement - without lights too.
Cyclists are getting a bad name anyway as some (not all) are so arrogant.

CoralReader · 01/08/2024 09:23

JJathome · 01/08/2024 09:20

I mean you’re both unreasonable. It isn’t a competition as you seem to think, who was worse.

of course he should not have abused you. But you also shouldnt have been on the pavement cycling.

I don’t think he abused her

Polarnight · 01/08/2024 09:22

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:19

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

Didn't you weigh in kilograms in maths and science degree?

pictoosh · 01/08/2024 09:22

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:19

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

😆

JJathome · 01/08/2024 09:21

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:19

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

You appear to have missed the point.

Growlybear83 · 01/08/2024 09:21

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:19

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

There really isn't any need for infantile insults. My point is that it is illegal for a car to drive on the pavement. It is also ILLEGAL to drive a bike on the pavement. There are plenty of laws that I don't like or think they are stupidity, but that doesn't mean I can choose to disregard them.

JJathome · 01/08/2024 09:20

I mean you’re both unreasonable. It isn’t a competition as you seem to think, who was worse.

of course he should not have abused you. But you also shouldnt have been on the pavement cycling.

CoralReader · 01/08/2024 09:20

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:19

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

Both are illegal and shouldn’t happen

Polarnight · 01/08/2024 09:19

So why did you even ask? You don't care you broke the law but are incensed someone swore at you for it.

sounds like a cunt to me

Original poster
stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:19

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

OP posts:
pictoosh · 01/08/2024 09:18

Must say as a cyclist, I do come across some twat cyclists...most seem courteous enough but yeah, you do get them.
Encountered a few pricks on the Union Canal in Edinburgh yesterday. I use a trail bike (prefer off-roading) and was effectively mown into by important men hunched over the bars of their ultra-skinny road bikes, a couple of times.
It's a busy-as-fuck multi-user path in the city...dogs, kids, skateboards, the elderly, wheelchairs ALL and EVERYONE uses it.
Like fuck is it YOUR path. Dicks.

That feels better.

Growlybear83 · 01/08/2024 09:15

So if you're unrepentant about cycling on the pavement, does that make it ok if I decide to drive my car along the pavement because it's long, straight, and brightly lit? Both are equally illegal.

Original poster
stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:14

pictoosh · 01/08/2024 09:06

Many people hate cyclists btw.

I know, I think it's because we are all smug, annoying, and look good in lycra !

OP posts:
TiaraBoo · 01/08/2024 09:13

You could have pushed your bike on the pavement. It’s horrible having cyclists cycling towards you.

As for the swearing, can’t say for definite it’s because you’re a woman, some men/women are comfortable with saying the word cunt and some will never ever say it.

Original poster
stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:13

The thing is.... I AM unrepentant.... it is a long straight road and the pavements were brightly lit. I could see the entire road and vice versa. I had properly assessed the risks to myself and others. The roads were dark and a one-way system is in place so there was no way I could have gone onto the road from where I was on the pavement, as I would have been going into incoming traffic and then trying to turn and signal in a dark and poorly-lit road. I cycled when there was no one around and got off and pushed my bike where there were people. When I got about 50 yards away from where he was the pavement became busy because there were restaurants, at which point I got off my bike and pushed it the rest of the way.

I know you shouldn't cycle on the pavement, but on a long straight road where you can see everyone / everything coming and there's no one around I don't see anything wrong with cycling slowly for a little bit.

I also think it's disingenuous to pretend that cyclists pose anywhere near the same danger levels as cars, and people in London drive absolutely atrociously. @pictoosh thank you for your thoughtful response. I had a very similar experience recently! Cycling safely in the road, right of way, and two women who trained at the Gemma Collins school of beauty, diet and elocution bellowed at me to 'get out the fucking road' !!!! It takes all sorts...

OP posts:
Polarnight · 01/08/2024 09:11

It wasn't OK for you to risk yourself on a road with no lights but OK for you to risk pedestrians on a pavement with no lights?

OK.

I don't think you know the risk you ran- car doors being opened onto you on the pavement side.

Why on earth didn't you just get off the bike and push it home.

wwyd2021medicine · 01/08/2024 09:07

I walked to city centre on Tuesday. I had a cyclist on a narrow pavement I had to stop and stand hard against a hedge. He didn't even acknowledge me and was going fast. Then scooters on pavement and then deliveroo on e-bikes on the pavements, all of which I had to keep out of the way of.

I called them all cunts when they were out of earshot. If I were a big bloke, I'd have been tempted to say it to them I would imagine.

I'm moving elsewhere not in small part due to this.

pictoosh · 01/08/2024 09:06

Many people hate cyclists btw.