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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think he should not have called me a c*nt!

138 replies

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 07:36

Morning all,

Last night I was cycling home from a friend's house. I forgot my lights, so cycled when it was still relatively light, but by the time I was within about 10 minutes of my flat it was quite dark and the roads were busy. I wouldn't normally do this but the roads near my flat are really busy and people drive really fast, so I started cycling on the pavement as they are relatively wide and no one was around.

There was a man on the pavement outside a shop. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre on either side of him, and I slowed down and moved my handlebars to move to the left. So he moved to the left. So I moved my handlebars to move to the right, and he moved to the right. I stopped, planning to get off my bike and wheel it past him.

He shouted 'just fuck off, fuck off!' I was shocked, and involuntarily scowled. He then shouted 'yes that's right just fuck off, don't fucking scowl at me you cunt!'

I just stood still looking at him and then he went into the shop. I then cycled past.

I know I was in the wrong for cycling on the pavement (even if very slowly and only when no-one around) but I think his reaction was completely out of order.

Side note: I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly. On the rest of my ride home I saw no fewer than 4 men who were clearly unwell shouting in the street, at themselves and others. I don't understand why nothing is done about this. I know lots of people say 'oooh, that's just LONDON, I don't bat an EYELID!', but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city!

YABU - you shouldn't have been on the pavement, get some lights you silly moo

YANBU - you should never call a woman a cunt

OP posts:
iamtheblcksheep · 01/08/2024 10:05

He was very wrong to shout at you but as a cyclist you are a menace to society.

On Sunday I nearly hit a cyclist who without warning jerked to turn right as I was overtaking her. No hand signals, nothing!!

If I wasn’t a responsible driver Who gives you more room that you need, she would have gone under my wheels

CoralReader · 01/08/2024 10:01

ComealongMartha · 01/08/2024 09:57

He was unnecessarily rude. He absolutely wouldn’t have spoken to a man like that.

Can I ask why you didn’t dismount and push your bike? It’s likely that an aggressive guy would still feel the need to air his views loudly but morally you would have come off better imo.

She was unnecessarily breaking the law?

Liverpool52 · 01/08/2024 10:01

The mental gymnastics to say "I was breaking the law and endangering pedestrians' lives but someone using a rude word is worse" is quite astonishing.

ComealongMartha · 01/08/2024 09:57

He was unnecessarily rude. He absolutely wouldn’t have spoken to a man like that.

Can I ask why you didn’t dismount and push your bike? It’s likely that an aggressive guy would still feel the need to air his views loudly but morally you would have come off better imo.

JackRabbitSlim · 01/08/2024 09:55

This is one of those threads where OP is told YABU but argues the toss anyway, I see.

Also @stressedout1994 , funny that you are so aggrieved about being called a name but rip another woman to shreds, twice so far on this thread, for her appearance and weight. You're just as bad. Having extra weight doesn't account for your attitude, it isn't like we gain a few extra pounds and that switches our poor behaviour mode on.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 01/08/2024 09:54

Pressed post too soon!

As yku were well aware of pedestrians I think he is being totally unreasonable!

sunflowerdaisyrose · 01/08/2024 09:51

I live in a town where most pavements are shared spaces with cyclists and almost everyone (cyclists and pedestrians) respects the other and it works. As you were riding respectfully and were well aware of the

Flossflower · 01/08/2024 09:47

You should not have been cycling on the pavement. You should not have put him in this situation. As a pedestrian, I have called cyclists that nearly went into me things much worse than that.
I also cycle and in dangerous areas, I have been known to cycle on the pavement BUT at the first sign of a pedestrian I have dismounted and wheeled the cycle regardless of the amount of room. This is what you should have done.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 01/08/2024 09:43

You think it's ok to 'risk assess' and break the law because you decided it was safe to do so? You're dripping with entitlement and the kind of cyclist that gives them a bad name. That's not how laws work, I could risk assess and speed in many places I think the speed limit is too slow, but I don't because that is not my call to make. Just like this wasn't your call to make. Forget your lights, then need to go on the pavement, so you walk your bike.

Butwhybecause · 01/08/2024 09:43

I had properly assessed the risks to myself and others

I expect most lawbreakers do risk assessments before committing a crime.
But it would still be a crime.

Mercurial123 · 01/08/2024 09:41

You are so entitled OP, and I say that as a cyclist. You were totally unreasonable. Get off your bike next time, and sort your lights out.

VisitationRights · 01/08/2024 09:39

Yes, you were both unreasonable, the best option would have been for you to dismount and walk your bike instead of cycling on the pavement. His best option would have been to stfu

MillyMollyMandHey · 01/08/2024 09:37

You don’t cycle on the pavement and you don’t cycle without lights.

This sense of entitlement is what gives cyclists a bad name.

If you didn’t feel safe, you should taken alternative transport home.

Bloom15 · 01/08/2024 09:37

YABU but you obviously don't care so it sure why you posted. I am sick of cyclists on the pavement and even worse that it was dark and you had no lights.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/08/2024 09:37

Pavement cyclist wankers. Unless you're five years old and going up and down the pavement outside your mum's flat, you've got no business being there and fully deserve being called names.

repos · 01/08/2024 09:37

I've lived in the east end of London my whole life (32 years), and the reason people hate cyclists is because you guys have an entitled attitude. For example, thinking it's ok to cycle on the pavement, even if the pavement is completely empty. Do you think the rules of the road do not apply to you? If a car didn't have headlights they wouldn't drive at night - it's the same thing for you - you are not superior. And why are you cycling down a one way street (the wrong way) on the pavement - bizarre.

You can tell you didn't grow up here and lived a sheltered life, my mums family use the c word on a daily, it's not that deep. Don't act like one and you won't get called one 🤣

LynetteScavo · 01/08/2024 09:37

You know you were both wrong, and regardless of the law I think he was more "wrong" than you.

I say that because as nice, well brought up and relatively normal person, I'd be more likely to ride my bike on the pavement than shout and swear at someone in the street.

AhBiscuits · 01/08/2024 09:37

There's never a good reason for an adult to cycle on the pavement. Forgot your lights? Tough shit, walk.

GingerPirate · 01/08/2024 09:35

Howtoeatanelephant · 01/08/2024 07:43

Cyclists and their entitlement. No you should not have been on the pavement. Highway code...

👆👏
Cannot stand this.

mirrorlife · 01/08/2024 09:35

Not sure why you are defending cycling on the pavement by comparing it to cars. Of course cars are more dangerous but that doesn’t means bikes can’t also be dangerous. Learn to cycle legally and safely- there are plenty of courses aimed at adults.

Re the man, his language wasn’t great but I’m sympathetic to his feelings. I can’t stand people who cycle on the pavement (and I say that a cyclist myself).

Justjn1 · 01/08/2024 09:35

LadyLolaRuben · 01/08/2024 09:33

You were doing the best thing in a compromised situation. The guy was an arse. Don't give it a second thought OP

The best thing in a compromised situation. Is that a joke?🤦🏻‍♀️

OP was illegally travelling on the pavement. The best thing would have been getting off the bike and pushing it.

LadyLolaRuben · 01/08/2024 09:33

You were doing the best thing in a compromised situation. The guy was an arse. Don't give it a second thought OP

ChubSeedsYorkie · 01/08/2024 09:31

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:13

The thing is.... I AM unrepentant.... it is a long straight road and the pavements were brightly lit. I could see the entire road and vice versa. I had properly assessed the risks to myself and others. The roads were dark and a one-way system is in place so there was no way I could have gone onto the road from where I was on the pavement, as I would have been going into incoming traffic and then trying to turn and signal in a dark and poorly-lit road. I cycled when there was no one around and got off and pushed my bike where there were people. When I got about 50 yards away from where he was the pavement became busy because there were restaurants, at which point I got off my bike and pushed it the rest of the way.

I know you shouldn't cycle on the pavement, but on a long straight road where you can see everyone / everything coming and there's no one around I don't see anything wrong with cycling slowly for a little bit.

I also think it's disingenuous to pretend that cyclists pose anywhere near the same danger levels as cars, and people in London drive absolutely atrociously. @pictoosh thank you for your thoughtful response. I had a very similar experience recently! Cycling safely in the road, right of way, and two women who trained at the Gemma Collins school of beauty, diet and elocution bellowed at me to 'get out the fucking road' !!!! It takes all sorts...

Ffs stop trying to justify cycling without lights and on a pavement!

JJathome · 01/08/2024 09:30

ChubSeedsYorkie · 01/08/2024 09:25

He was probably fed up of people like you thinking it’s ok to cycle on the pavements tbh.

Also cycling slowly on a pavement doesn’t make it right. The tone of your post seems to suggest you think it was ok because you were cycling slowly. If you don’t have lights then you get off and walk with your bike not cycle on pavements.

I think that’s the thing. People are pig sick of entitled folks on bikes. Causing no end of issues. And cycling on the pavement is all kinds of wrong as well as illegal. The op seems to think she was entitled to do so as she’d forgot her lights. She wasn’t.

I strongly suspect if she’d not been cycling on the pavement this wouldn’t have occurred,

if she forgot her lights and couldn’t make it home safely then she should have either locked her bike up and found alternate transport, or walked it back the last few mins.

SprinkleOfSunak · 01/08/2024 09:30

I also live in London and have also noticed how quickly people are becoming angry and full of rage, and it has definitely worsened since the lockdown.

I have also noticed a further spike in anger, and in people shouting and voicing their opinions and hurling abuse which is racial in tone since the general election in my area. A huge amount of people voted reform where I live, but fortunately they didn’t take the area - but did come second. I think this has bolstered the supporters to think they can say what they like, and act how they like, including in the grounds of my children’s Primary School.

My British Husband who was born here was racially abused a couple of weeks ago for the first time since living in London (19 years) - all due to the colour of his skin, and because some arsehole couldn’t immediately drive past as my Husband was parking. It really is terrible.