shocked my best friend voted Reform

Exactly. Why do the mumsnet hive mind think those who just maybe disagree with their choice of voting are ignorant racist bigots.
Really you should listen to yourselves sometimes - the hate, the judgement makes YOU look bigoted.

It is the same kind of attitude that thinks labour removing the WFA from pensioners (who actually need it but are not on PC because they saved for their old age) is fine and a good thing because everyone they know including parents and in laws spend it on a case of wine or a holiday.

Labour voters on MN have no empathy with anyone else - so they will deserve no praise for being the good 'ones' from me.

Shouting ‘racist’ or ‘thick’ at anyone that was considering voting to leave in the brexit vote got us nowhere.

Shouting ‘racist’ and ‘bigot’ and ‘ableist’ got us nowhere in the last few elections.

Shouting ‘racist’ at anyone who chose to vote reform will get us nowhere now. Especially, when you are shouting it at people whose everyday lives are being really negatively damaged by immigration issues.

The concern question should be ‘why did so many people feel they couldn’t vote for labour or anyone else and so many voted for Reform’ needs to be addressed. Just shouting ‘you are thick’ isn’t going to address why people are so willing to support Reform.

Labour would have got in much earlier if they had addressed why so many people felt they couldn’t vote for them. Addressed the actual issues people are concerned about.

Unfortunately, they don’t seem to want to even address it now they are in and I think they won’t last too long.

At some point, we have to accept that (rightly or wrongly) a lot of people feel their lives are being damaged by the ways things are. Telling them to shut up will just continue to see the rise of parties like reform.

This. My best friend voted reform. I know why she did and it's not because she's racist or a bigot. We are on different ends of the political spectrum but the reality is morally/ethically we're not that far apart except on a small number of topics. Politics has become so polarised that it's easy for this to happen. And on the areas we disagree on (and immigration is one but not the only one) it's good to have someone to challenge my thinking.

Plus you need to be aware that for people who didn't want Labor in power, Reform was sometimes the only option for a tactical vote.

To go to an extreme, the BNP used to put up candidates in my constituency (not anymore). If there was even a chance they'd win and the main opposition was Reform, I'd have voted Reform without a second thought.

A lot of mu friends are lefties. Labour mostly. I don't think worse of them for it.

Agree. This view – of wanting controlled, sustainable immigration that allows successful integration and doesn't strain public services – is now akin to being a Nazi.

People complain about divisions in society, but painting perfectly reasonable, widely-shared views as racist and bigoted is pretty fucking divisive!

Those of us who want more limited on immigration do not hate foreigners! It's a practical, pragmatic viewpoint. When immigration is too much, too fast, it causes problems. We are lucky to live in one of the most tolerant, open and peaceful countries on earth – but we do need to take measures to ensure it stays that way.

Are you aware that anyone can be a racist, they don't have to be white?

This is massively insulting to those who actually suffered under Hitler.
Wanting to reduce migration to net levels and have a merit based immigration system is not the same as gassing millions of people.

Absolutely this. I can like and respect people who held very different views to me on a range of subjects. Supporting racists, not so much.

Tribalist politics aren’t helping us. They’re how we’re in the shit show we currently are living in.

I would disagree.Reform are overtly racist and I couldn’t really be friends with someone that espoused those views so for me it would be a deal breaker.

And people who aren't ignorant or racist are allowed to judge others who voted for hatred and division in our society. And we very much should talk about politics. It's important.

Exactly

Acceptable by whom?

People have different experiences and priorities.
We live in a democracy.

I'd fall out over it. Jesus.

Don't be silly.

Being critical of someone because they have racist beliefs is not the same as being critical because of skin colour or ethic origin. That's not irony.

Surly you then had a conversation about it? Or did you just recoil in horror?

The biggest mistake we make again and again is to just brand people a racist because they don’t think the same as us. It’s a silencing tactic and it’s led to the current shit show we have.

Silencing people and calling them bigots ends up with people voting for brexit and Reform. It pushes people to support the likes or Trump or Farage.

The people who brand people who think differently from them (and I mean differently, I don’t mean people who are full of hate. Plenty of people just feel differently without hating anyone) as thick, stupid, lacking critical thinking aren’t clever. They make the situation worse. At some point someone has to confront it. What is going on that normal and good people feel they can’t vote for anyone else? That’s what needs confronting.

It changes my opinion of someone when they tell me that they voted for Labour.

Me and my best friend of nearly 20 years are complete opposite sides of the political and also religious spectrum do you know what that means? We have amazing conversations when we go out to the pub, we actually discuss respectfully what we disagree on as well as lots we agree on...we also funnily enough actually align our opinions on a lot of topics but just disagree on how those things could/should be resolved. In the end we both understand each other neither of us are racist/bigoted etc etc. We have very different lives where she is breadwinner for her family and I am stay at home, the kind of area we live in is vastly different and yet we love each other dearly and have great fun. You are very closed minded to consider that you should only be around people who think like you. It is healthy, respectful debate and disagreement which aids democracy not echo Chambers and fear of others not liking your opinion on things. Perhaps she doesn't like how you vote but instead of judging you she looks at the bigger picture of who you are and her lived experience of friendship with you.

Democracy at its best. This you must be thick because you don't share my views syndrome is a little tiresome.

I couldn't be friends with someone who lacked critical thinking skills and anyone who votes for a Nigel Farage party (who is such a blatant con artist/ grifter) would no longer have my respect. I don't see how you could be friends with someone you didn't respect.

No I think I either explained the point wrong or you misunderstood

she gave no interest in understanding the parties until
her bf came along - it was a “I’ll support them because my dad does” not knowing what she was supporting exactly.. but if you wanna take it as manipulation then that’s on you.. because it wasn’t lol

My sil voted Tory in 2019 and I have nothing to say to her these days because of the ignorant comments she made at the time. It put me off her and since other things have been exposed and I just don't like her. It's the step to the right and the unwanted preaching about it

Well, 14% voted for them, so they must have their reasons.