Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

shocked my best friend voted Reform

734 replies

clearmoon · 31/07/2024 23:42

Long standing close friend came round for dinner and we were nattering away, and she just mentioned off hand in the conversation that she had voted Reform. i am really shocked. We don't discuss politics much. But I would have guessed lib dems or labour. I love her dearly. But I do wonder if I should think about her differently now, or just carry on as before

YANBU - She is not such a good person as I thought all these years
YABU-its all fine

OP posts:
VerySadCase · 01/08/2024 13:04

Nannyfannybanny · 01/08/2024 08:47

Interesting that 3/4 voted you are unreasonable. The posters who were outraged, couldn't be friends with these people,you see the same thing with some partners and husbands. Do people give potential partners or friends a checklist,of political intent,views on sex, religion and money, morals, abortion?

Not a checklist, no, but surely most people would want to know that those who are closest to them have compatible values?

Or are you saying that you have no moral standards that are important to you?

RosaRoja · 01/08/2024 13:02

Northernnature · 01/08/2024 12:42

Yes people can be killed by policies and they can be killed by left policies more than right (and more directly too) which is part of the reason people are getting angry. Eg man in Hartlepool killed by illegal immigrant shouting about Gaza which has been totally memory holed by the media. Govts first duty is to keep people secure and safe and open borders has done the opposite, and we can't even deport rapists and murderers from the most dangerous countries in the world. How people on the left think they have moral upper hand beats me.

First time I see a Tory government called lefty. It was Tories we had past 14 years, right?

Northernnature · 01/08/2024 12:42

Yes people can be killed by policies and they can be killed by left policies more than right (and more directly too) which is part of the reason people are getting angry. Eg man in Hartlepool killed by illegal immigrant shouting about Gaza which has been totally memory holed by the media. Govts first duty is to keep people secure and safe and open borders has done the opposite, and we can't even deport rapists and murderers from the most dangerous countries in the world. How people on the left think they have moral upper hand beats me.

Getonwitit · 01/08/2024 12:37

swimsong · 31/07/2024 23:52

She may be just ignorant.

You are the problem with this country. Downright bloody rude because you can't cope with someone that doesn't agree with you.

ilovesooty · 01/08/2024 12:36

caringcarer · 01/08/2024 12:11

I think Labour deliberately kept their plans under wraps. I think that was just the first of attacks on the elderly. I think free prescriptions over 60 will be put up to 67 next, then take away their £10 Xmas bonus.

I don't see anything wrong with either of those interventions.

FayeGreener · 01/08/2024 12:35

Fifferfefferfeff · 01/08/2024 12:31

I don't think this is hyperbole. Plenty of political policies cause deaths, and a lot of suffering, in the UK and in the U.S..
There's a record kept of deaths caused by austerity policies, for example, and another kept of suicides due to the policies on disability benefits (which were investigated by the U.N.).

If voters don't want to kill people, why vote for policies that kill people? If it's due to ignorance rather than malice, there needs to be more awareness raised, so people make more informed choices.

I don’t think the poster means this.

“This political party wants me dead!” is usually an incredibly hyperbolic way of saying “I’m gay/trans/black/Mexican etc. and the political party in question isn’t falling over itself to cater to people like me.”

neverbeenskiing · 01/08/2024 12:33

Fifferfefferfeff · 01/08/2024 12:31

I don't think this is hyperbole. Plenty of political policies cause deaths, and a lot of suffering, in the UK and in the U.S..
There's a record kept of deaths caused by austerity policies, for example, and another kept of suicides due to the policies on disability benefits (which were investigated by the U.N.).

If voters don't want to kill people, why vote for policies that kill people? If it's due to ignorance rather than malice, there needs to be more awareness raised, so people make more informed choices.

Spot on. It's always "hyperbole" when you're not the one at risk though, isn't it?

EasternStandard · 01/08/2024 12:32

SinisterBumFacedCat · 01/08/2024 12:30

Scrapping raising the cap on care fees is also disgusting and a good indicator of how little consideration they have really vulnerable people.

It’s people that can’t do much about it. A pensioner can’t strike. Just take the hit so others don’t

Fifferfefferfeff · 01/08/2024 12:31

pillofy · 01/08/2024 11:59

Right, and who exactly wants you dead? Why do they want you dead? How have they expressed this?

This sort of bonkers hyperbole is why no one can have a sensible discussion any more.

Edited

I don't think this is hyperbole. Plenty of political policies cause deaths, and a lot of suffering, in the UK and in the U.S..
There's a record kept of deaths caused by austerity policies, for example, and another kept of suicides due to the policies on disability benefits (which were investigated by the U.N.).

If voters don't want to kill people, why vote for policies that kill people? If it's due to ignorance rather than malice, there needs to be more awareness raised, so people make more informed choices.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 01/08/2024 12:30

caringcarer · 01/08/2024 12:11

I think Labour deliberately kept their plans under wraps. I think that was just the first of attacks on the elderly. I think free prescriptions over 60 will be put up to 67 next, then take away their £10 Xmas bonus.

Scrapping raising the cap on care fees is also disgusting and a good indicator of how little consideration they have really vulnerable people.

VerySadCase · 01/08/2024 12:25

@bombastix I get that. I am a bit suspicious of your more well to do Reform voter because truthfully not sure what’s in it for them.

Maybe the ultra regressive tax policies that benefit the richest most?

totallythere · 01/08/2024 12:13

@AvrielFinch I think you are naive that you actually think people who vote reform are just racist English people. I am Eastern European and I know some who agree with reform because they see the issue with uncontrolled immigration. Separating people who come the right way vs uncontrolled immigration illegally on boats is the issue. Those of us who came the right way believe that's how it should be done and the governments are not doing enough to control the ones who aren't. We're not all the same you know. But hey...I'm naive apparently.

caringcarer · 01/08/2024 12:11

MeouwCat · 01/08/2024 12:07

I voted Labour to boot out the tories. I didnt vote to take money off the old. So I cant say how I would vote if I had known that they would do that. Lib Dem/Green?

I think Labour deliberately kept their plans under wraps. I think that was just the first of attacks on the elderly. I think free prescriptions over 60 will be put up to 67 next, then take away their £10 Xmas bonus.

caringcarer · 01/08/2024 12:09

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 12:03

I am absolutely willing to be judged by the company i keep or who I vote for. I’m proud of my choices. I wouldn’t vote for a party I was ashamed to be associated with.

Voting is a private activity. Many people would never even tell you who they voted for.

EasternStandard · 01/08/2024 12:08

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 12:03

I am absolutely willing to be judged by the company i keep or who I vote for. I’m proud of my choices. I wouldn’t vote for a party I was ashamed to be associated with.

Why are people ashamed? Maybe they wish to avoid aggression or intolerance

It doesn’t mean you know they feel ashamed

MeouwCat · 01/08/2024 12:07

I voted Labour to boot out the tories. I didnt vote to take money off the old. So I cant say how I would vote if I had known that they would do that. Lib Dem/Green?

totallythere · 01/08/2024 12:06

AvrielFinch · 01/08/2024 01:38

And every Reform voter I have talked to has either been racist, or comfortable with racism. A lot of people are.

Don't call me ridiculously naive. Who are you to label me as such?? I don't talk about voting at work but others do and they have clearly said openly their views on any party other than Labour. Where do you get off on telling others their own personal experience is naive?

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 12:04

pillofy · 01/08/2024 12:02

I don't know what you're referring to, so I cannot believe or disbelieve them. Please indulge me.

Edited

No thats fine. I’m just not interested in revisiting the policies of the Trump party for your edification.

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 12:03

caringcarer · 01/08/2024 12:00

Each person has the choice who they vote for. I wouldn't judge anyone on the basis of who they voted for. I also wouldn't like to be judged on this either.

I am absolutely willing to be judged by the company i keep or who I vote for. I’m proud of my choices. I wouldn’t vote for a party I was ashamed to be associated with.

pillofy · 01/08/2024 12:02

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 12:01

Ah! This is the part if the political discussion in which the actual policies of the far right are found to be so horrendous that ordinary people just refuse to believe them.

I don't know what you're referring to, so I cannot believe or disbelieve them. Please indulge me.

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 12:01

Ah! This is the part if the political discussion in which the actual policies of the far right are found to be so horrendous that ordinary people just refuse to believe them.

caringcarer · 01/08/2024 12:00

Each person has the choice who they vote for. I wouldn't judge anyone on the basis of who they voted for. I also wouldn't like to be judged on this either.

pillofy · 01/08/2024 11:59

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 11:55

politics aren’t boring. Right here in the US the opposite political party to mine wants to see people like me dead. I find that quite exciting!

Right, and who exactly wants you dead? Why do they want you dead? How have they expressed this?

This sort of bonkers hyperbole is why no one can have a sensible discussion any more.

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2024 11:55

jf1992x · 01/08/2024 11:42

I really don't get why people get annoyed by this?! Everyone has the right to vote for whoever they want. It wouldn't change my opinion on someone. I don't know who any of my friends vote for because we're not boring enough to bring it up in conversation 🤣🤣

politics aren’t boring. Right here in the US the opposite political party to mine wants to see people like me dead. I find that quite exciting!

WhoGivesaSpit · 01/08/2024 11:51

Justbeinganoseycow · 31/07/2024 23:56

Why do people feel the need to disclose who they vote for? It's private IMO.

Never talk politics or religion.

I know this is popular but this is such a weird notion to me. Your beliefs (both religious and political) are so at the heart of who you are as a person... why would you not discuss them with those closest to you? Aligning beliefs is one of the ways I know how compatible I am with someone and this how much time amd effort I shpuld put into the relationship. I would really struggle to be friends with someone who voted Reform, or who believed in homeopathy, or any number of other things. That's OK!