To think DH is deactivating the Ring doorbell so I can’t see what he’s doing?

Sorry you’re going thought that I do the same just switch it off

Yes easily I do it all the time just turn it off and back on

I don't think you can personalise alerts so that one person sees something differently to another.

He could deactivate the camera and you should be able to see that yourself in the app under its status - only at the time though.

Pausing the wifi is the most likely scenario and doesn't leave a trace. My teenagers figured that one out pretty quickly.

OP I am an academic who studies technology facilitated abuse. To be clear, I am NOT SAYING you are abusing your partner. I understand you want to keep him safe, and your family unit safe. The one thing I will say that we know from people who use technology to monitor their partners movements (the people who are abusive) is that it doesn't alleviate their anxiety, it actually makes it worse. They find they look more and more for information. Now, we don't know if this is true for people in your situation, but I would really strongly urge you to check in with yourself whether looking for evidence is helping you or just delaying an inevitable conversation and making you feel worse and more anxious in the meantime.

You can’t help him with his problems with alcohol op. Unfortunately. All you can do is protect yourself and your children. Sometimes that’s enough for people to sort themselves out. Sadly problems with alcohol are only ever sorted when the person wants to change and does everything they need to do themselves (& that is sometimes too hard).

There are some helpful threads for people living with others drinking in the alcohol support topic. It might be worth posting there as another poster said.

Check your ring subscription package. I think the true basic one doesn’t save video content. Could it be that?

Did you not post an identical thread to this just a few weeks ago?

Everyone (except the people who were unnecessarily fixated on you checking your own Ring videos) said he was a functioning alcoholic.

It's still true.

The "alcohol support" topics section might be a helpful read for you OP. As well as people discussing their own drinking, there are threads written by people in similar situations to you (ie, their spouses are drinking too much/hiding their drinking, that kind of thing). Best of luck.

Ime the people who kick off most about "invasion of privacy " are the ones with the most to hide ......

Just saying

Either accept his alcoholism, give him an ultimatum to get it under control (unlikely to work), or leave him. Tracking your partner's every movement is controlling/invasion of privacy.

I am sorry Op , it does seem that your suspicions about your H may be correct .
I also fully understand that you are reticent about confronting this as there will be major implications for you and your kids. I think it is under stable to be hoping that you are wrong and that you delay taking any immediate action until you know for certain , have more "evidence ".
As others have said he will be a master in hiding everything . If he thinks you have gone to bed , can you make an excuse to come back downstairs to see if he is in fact drinking when you are in bed ?

I hope that you can get things sorted .

This was many years ago. I am a LOT more cynical now at 51!

So my advice is that you cannot help him. This is the rabbit hole of self destruction that addicts pull other people into throught FOG (fear, obligation, guilt)

He may not be actively choosing to be an addict, but equally, he isnt actively choosing to NOT be an addict. There is so much help out there and if he is a halfway intelligent man, he knows that. He is choosing to stay on the path of destruction rather than reach out for help to get off it, because getting off the path is a lot harder in the short term than just "having another beer". Its so easy to rationalise addiction, especially to alcohol if one is (on the surface at least) functioning. Its "just another glass of wine", dismissing the previous glasses.....

If you decide that you must help him then you might as well give up now and accept the life that you (and your kids) are going to live. Or you could forget the threat of "I am thinking of plans to leave" as it wont make any difference, and ACTUALLY make plans and leave. He will not change until he has to. And hitting rock bottom is the only way that he will realise that he has to.

Kill or cure. Sorry to be so blunt but it really is that simple. xx

Does he drive?

Makes perfect sense.

Sadly one thing that I have noticed on MN, that has increased in recent years, it people with no understanding of the more difficult sides of life, wading in and saying "How dare you check your husbands phone/internet whatever" because they blindly trust. So anyone who, for whatever reason, is pushed to checking things out, feels guilty and nosey and U for even daring to not trust 100% as they do.

Inevitably, many of them will be back some years later saying "DH is having an affair, I never ever believed that he would" or somesuch. Sad but true. How do I know? I was one of them.

If I or my partner switch off our ring door bell, we both get a notification on our phone that it has been deactivated. However, technically he could switch off the WiFi or remove the battery. But also worth mentioning that our ring bell sometimes misses things.

He will deny deny deny, he is an addict.

He will spend whatever money he has on booze, he is an addict.

You have a choice. Either follow through on what sounds like a previous ultimatum and leave, or stay and accept life with an alky.

Does he work? Does he contribute in any way? What does he bring that makes him being an alcoholic worth putting up with?

You need to get some support OP, maybe Al-anon which is for family & friends of alcoholics. If he is an alcoholic you need to protect yourself not get drawn deeper into trying to manage or control his behaviour. You can't do that, only he can. People supporting you in your actions aren't actually helping you because this is a path at the end of which lies the destruction of your mental health. This isn't safe for you to do, you will only harm yourself and you won't save him. Tracking someone like this isn't ok, and its not justifiable because you think he's secretly drinking and it's not going to save him or your relationship, it will just fuck things up even more.

To the PPs who think it's ok, think of the harm you're doing to women saying this on a public forum where it can read and used to justify behaviour by abusers, who are mostly men.

Anyone being arsey about the doorbell hasn’t lived with an alcoholic. Yes you can’t control it and you have to detach for your own sanity but it is usual and normal to try and work out what is going on if videos look like they are being deleted.

Sadly OP It sounds like he may be hiding the evidence. Time for a direct talk.

I am sorry you are going through this. Another poster who will add that if he has a drinking problem he will find ways to drink secretly, you can never get on top that off that need, or monitor how much he drinks. Talking from family member experience, he bought supplies which would be hidden in random places in inside the house and even outside the property, decanting and putting into innocent looking bottles - the list goes on and on, you can never control this or even understand what he may have drunk that day. Unless he wants to control it, it won't happen and even if he does, it is not an easy battle. Wishing you all the best. I suggest talking to some groups set up for family members of alcoholics for support for yourself and to understand what it all means for you.