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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does he fancy me or not? Can't tell.

29 replies

Shirtonmyback · 31/07/2024 22:02

I guess yanbu- He seems to
Yanbu- No I don't think he does.

We're only friends ATM, but.

He's happy to talk to me every single day, whether in person or by msg.
We had a coffee together and we were there from 2pm until 6:30. The conversation flowed, this is a big thing for me as I'm very introverted and shy, usually after an hour or two I want to leave, even if I like the person, I find it draining.

He kinda teases me sometimes.
I didn't see him for one day, and the next time he saw me he said 'long time no see'.

Or he said stuff like 'In order to carry on talking to you, I need to know if you like Xyz film' (joking ofc).

I know men and women can just get on and be friends without wanting more, but I do like him.
Does it sound like we have chemistry?

We have very similar personalities too which is great and tons in common.

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 31/07/2024 22:27

Men tend to be shallow. They can really like a woman a lot but if she’s not slim and conventionally attractive he’ll keep her dangling, developing a closer and closer bond but not committing because she doesn’t look quite right.

The way such stuff is confidently said on here makes me involuntarily spit out my tea

So all men. All of them. Are like this. They have to be slim right?

If that was the case, a huge swathe of Britain suddenly becomes single

What you or people you know may experience, does not constitute “men”.

Frazzledmama23 · 31/07/2024 22:26

I agree, sounds great! so long as you're sure hes not gay? how do you know him?

TheWoodlanders · 31/07/2024 22:24

I have had similar relationships to this and it turned out he really liked me but didn’t fancy me. Despite the widespread idea that it’s easy for women to attract men actually think it’s not at all easy. Men tend to be shallow. They can really like a woman a lot but if she’s not slim and conventionally attractive he’ll keep her dangling, developing a closer and closer bond but not committing because she doesn’t look quite right. Naturally of course a nice man would not admit to doing this, perhaps is not even aware of his own responses, but it’s true and I have seen and experienced it over and over.

Men can sincerely value your friendship but unless you look like a babe it is meaningless as far as a proper relationship goes. It does your head in.

MakingPlans2025 · 31/07/2024 22:22

I think he likes you 💜