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Help me annoy our neighbours

287 replies

NeighbourTrouble63 · 31/07/2024 20:48

Lighthearted (ish!)

I don’t say this lightly but we have the most truly horrible couple (‘young professionals’, although they don’t act like it) that I have ever met living beside us - even since the day that we moved in they have completely blanked us, anytime I have simply waved over or said ‘good morning’ I get ignored. In the 4 years that we have lived here neither of them have ever even made eye contact with me. It is bizarre and I have no idea what their problem is. I feel like they automatically see us as below them since we are renting (I have just gotten through a messy divorce, it is only my very sensible teen DD and I living here)

They have constant, wild parties going on into the small hours. It’s a 1930s semi so very poor sound insulation - we hear everything. I went round and politely knocked their door one Friday party night as DD had just had an operation and really needed her sleep - the door was slammed in my face. Their Range Rover (definitely heavily financed) is constantly parked right over the pavement, forcing buggies and wheelchair users onto the busy road.

They are vile people and I want a petty yet harmless way to get my own back when we move out in a few months. Any ideas?

OP posts:
justasoul · 31/07/2024 23:07

HoppityBun · 31/07/2024 22:46

Bamboo wind chimes? You don’t know you’re born. My neighbours, who I really like, have metal wind chimes- 2, if you please, - and it’s like being mugged by fairies. Plus, I work from home most days, whilst they’re out all day, so it’s me who has to listen to them.

Ooh they have 2 too, I don’t find the metal one as annoying as the bamboo one 🤣 and a disco ball that reflects all over my kitchen 😖

LoneHydrangea · 31/07/2024 23:02

Scratch their car ‘accidentally’ with your keys as you squeeze past it. Order some food to their house from a private number and tell the takeaway you’ll be paying in cash. Play knock a door run. Bounce a football off their fence or garden wall. Chuck stink bombs into their garden and post some mackerel and sardines through their letter box.

Seriously? These threads expose some really damaged minds.

Jux · 31/07/2024 23:02

Kidnap so,ething oaf theirs and send them postcards from whatever it is every week or so.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 31/07/2024 23:01

This reply has been deleted

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"It's very Northern Irish!", "Nowhere I'm likely to visit"

Oh do fuck off. Just typical of someone who's never even been to make such judgemental, ignorant remarks. Northern Ireland has some of the friendliest people in the world. My English husband even sees the difference with the people being so much friendlier there, than in England. You say "Schools are still segregated on religion", a very sweeping statement there, I went to school in NI decades ago and was never in a segregated school, integrated schools are more and more commonplace. Positive change has been happening for decades.

You sound like a student house mate I had when I was at University in England who refused to go to NI with me when I invited all my housemates. Looked down her nose like we were scum of the earth, snotty cow.

It sounds like you've a very closed opinion based on a few things you've heard on the English news, and no actual knowledge or experience of being in our lovely wee country. And before you remind me of the "pipe bombs", I'm not sure what country you live in, but let's take England as an example, it's not exactly a safe country, look at the knife crime, acid attacks, and bombs, (not talking about the IRA, I mean in recent times)?

ZiggyZowie · 31/07/2024 23:00

Do a poo on their front doorstep

WearyAuldWumman · 31/07/2024 23:00

Istilldontlikeolives · 31/07/2024 20:51

A speaker up against the wall blasting annoying sounds?
banging something heavy against the wall of a room you know they are in?

From experience, I can recommend Yugoslav Turbofolk played at around 7 am (speakers turned to the party wall).

HamBagelNoCheese · 31/07/2024 22:59

You need to go subtle but long term

Sign them up for visits from various religious groups, free samples of questionable products etc.

Alternatively....

Glitterbomb 😈

Gladragdoll · 31/07/2024 22:59

When you move out, give them a tin of out of date broken biscuits and a card saying ‘thanks for being great neighbours’.

Stomachbiggerthantits · 31/07/2024 22:59

Skipping past the political discussion and focusing on how to annoy your neighbours…

  • Sign them up for Avon, Christmas Saver and Betterby Catalogues.
  • Put a plug in type air freshener outside their door. Preferably cotton candy type smell
  • Stick a Live, Laugh, Love mural on shared area walls
  • Mornings after their party, hoover your ceiling. Repeatedly.
  • Buy your daughter a violin / recorder / harmonica and pay her 20p every time she plays 3 bars of Londons Burning
  • Listen to Fox News. Loudly.
  • Pop Green Party leaflets under the windscreen wipers of their car. Especially before nightly frosts..,
NeighbourTrouble63 · 31/07/2024 22:58

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They’re the same religion as me (they love playing sectarian songs at full blast whilst drunk at said parties - very classy, not). My neighbours on the other side are the opposite religion - absolutely lovely people who I will dearly miss. I’m afraid your attempt to make a clever point miserably failed. Nice try though at painting us as a violent and prejudiced society.

OP posts:
Streamofjustice · 31/07/2024 22:57

Get some of your wee in a bottle. Pour the contents over the handle of the car. Enjoy!

PreciousMahoney · 31/07/2024 22:55

RocketPanda · 31/07/2024 22:40

I can lend you a donkey that brays at any passing cars like a guard dog. He'll also scratch his head off the wing mirrors of their car and break them so they hang like a pair of spaniels ears bitter experience . He's lovely but has zero cop on and in all honesty is a bit of a liability if he gets loose.

Post of the thread😆

Love the sound of mirror wrecking donkey, OP this and the wind chimes will work like a charm

Piglet89 · 31/07/2024 22:51

@NeighbourTrouble63 Northern Irish too, now very firmly a Londoner, having lived here over 20 years and have to say this whole thread makes me glad I don’t live there any more.

People drive their Range Rovers over here like fucking maniacs: you’re so busy just staying out of their lane, you wouldn’t have time to worry about whether it’s “heavily financed”. That and the “nouveau riche” comment: who are you, the Marchioness of Donegal?

Jesus wept.

Enoughwiththisshit · 31/07/2024 22:50

Post them a raw fish. Second class.

TizerorFizz · 31/07/2024 22:50

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BrendaSmall · 31/07/2024 22:49

NeighbourTrouble63 · 31/07/2024 21:05

I’m not horribly judgmental - I know blatant rudeness when I see it (and a financed Range Rover). They are the nouveau riche type and judging by their conversations (which sadly we hear far too much of) they want the world to know about it.

What does a financed Range Rover look like?
im sure its the same as one that’s been paid for outright when I last looked!

godmum56 · 31/07/2024 22:49

Bluebirdover · 31/07/2024 20:57

Or crazy frog!

Baby shark

HoppityBun · 31/07/2024 22:46

justasoul · 31/07/2024 22:30

My next door neighbour has a bamboo wind chime that sounds like there’s a Peruvian pipes band in my back garden, so I suggest that Grin particularly if you live in a windy place.

Bamboo wind chimes? You don’t know you’re born. My neighbours, who I really like, have metal wind chimes- 2, if you please, - and it’s like being mugged by fairies. Plus, I work from home most days, whilst they’re out all day, so it’s me who has to listen to them.

TellerTuesday · 31/07/2024 22:44

How does one know a 'heavily financed Range Rover' when they see it? Genuinely curious

ChallengingFigureANDUnrulyFlaps · 31/07/2024 22:43

These guys are the MOST annoying! I used them for anyone who pisses me off! Stick in their mobile number and off you go!
Honest Quotes

Honest Quotes

https://honestquotes.co.uk/

Emmerald · 31/07/2024 22:42

NeighbourTrouble63 · 31/07/2024 20:59

The very obvious to let sign that was outside the door for months..

Ok I didn't know that as you didn't mention it.You implied that you were there first.

Whatever you do will confirm their opinion of you. 😁

ChallengingFigureANDUnrulyFlaps · 31/07/2024 22:41

Get online quotes for solar panels and put their details in. They will NEVER stop the cold calls.

HoppityBun · 31/07/2024 22:41

5foot5 · 31/07/2024 21:08

As a trombonist myself I resent that! There are much louder and more annoying instruments.

Recorder?

ChallengingFigureANDUnrulyFlaps · 31/07/2024 22:40

Also, put a pair of trainers in a tumble dryer up against the shared wall, with some tumble dryer balls.

RocketPanda · 31/07/2024 22:40

I can lend you a donkey that brays at any passing cars like a guard dog. He'll also scratch his head off the wing mirrors of their car and break them so they hang like a pair of spaniels ears bitter experience . He's lovely but has zero cop on and in all honesty is a bit of a liability if he gets loose.