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Original poster

Bizarre encounter with man

61 replies

VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 20:13

I was walking along a normal sized footpath on a busy road (room for people walking each direction). I was carrying my umbrella with the handle in my hand and the rest against my body and over my shoulder so that the end/tip of my umbrella was in the air above my shoulder. I was happily walking along and listening to a podcast.

I passed a man and his girlfriend/wife. There were no issues. Plenty of room etc. He then started shouting at me. He was so loud I heard him over my podcast. I was puzzled and took out my headphones and looked at him to understand what the issue was. He was yelling aggressively that I should not walk around with my umbrella like that as it was threatening! Apparently I was threatening him. I did not know what to say. I was dumbfounded and just said “what?”. He then raised his fist to punch me, and would have had his partner not intervened and pulled him away.

I am at a loss as to what his problem was and what I had done wrong. Am I being unreasonable to think he would never had said anything if I was a man? I am sure he acted that way because I’m a small woman and he wanted to be dominating.

OP posts:
NessasBoots · 01/08/2024 08:16

There's a lot of weirdos out there. I think it's a good idea for women to start carrying umbrellas. 😊
It would be a good idea to report it, op, as there may be CCTV in the area.
It won't be the first time he's behaved like that.
Sorry you're upset. It's not your fault.

Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 01/08/2024 08:03

RawBloomers · 01/08/2024 02:02

His behaviour was awful. And agree with PP that his partner pulling him away suggests anger management issues are common for him.

Carrying an umbrella over your shoulder with the tip up like that is not a great way to walk around in public. But it’s thoughtlessly asking for an accident to happen rather than threatening, and certainly not something to shout at somebody over.

I don’t understand how an accident could have happened. I also think if I’m keeping to myself and inconveniencing no one, can carry my umbrella anyway I like. It wasn’t thoughtless at all. It was held out of anyone’s way.

This was just a misogynistic arsehole who thinks he can tell women what to do.

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 01/08/2024 02:02

His behaviour was awful. And agree with PP that his partner pulling him away suggests anger management issues are common for him.

Carrying an umbrella over your shoulder with the tip up like that is not a great way to walk around in public. But it’s thoughtlessly asking for an accident to happen rather than threatening, and certainly not something to shout at somebody over.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/08/2024 01:27

The irony, shouting aggressively and actioning ready to punch a woman who was minding her own business, but yeah, she's the one who is threatening holding your weapon umbrella. 🙄

@VickyPollard25 I'd do an online police report, with a detailed description of him. Unpredictable men like that won't hesitate to attack a stranger.

Agapornis · 01/08/2024 01:11

Please report it to the police, it might be part of a pattern of behaviour.

HRTQueen · 01/08/2024 00:35

What a vile bully how frightening

of course if you were a 6’2 heavily built man he would not have been so threatening he was threatening because he felt he could be

you did absolutely nothing wrong and I feel it’s an incident that should be reported he threatened you with violence (but understand if you do not want to)

Keenovay · 01/08/2024 00:03

He sounds bonkers. I was once walking on a wide pavement, wheeling my bike up a one way street. Pavement deserted but for a guy in the distance. I had my bike positioned so that the pedals on the far side were hard at the kerb ie I was at the extreme outer side so as not to inconvenience anyone.

I watched this guy in the distance gradually veer towards me. When he passed me, he aggressively shouldered me then yelled at me for hitting HIM. Bonkers. These guys just want a fight. Or maybe he didn't like cyclists.

I thought about reporting him as his appearance was very striking, but the thought of dealing with the police was too off-putting. I felt a shaken and upset afterwards though.

WhateverMate · 31/07/2024 23:59

VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:19

Thank you so much. The whole incident has upset me so much. I keep thinking about what I could have possibly done to upset him. I literally cannot find a reason. I didn’t touch him or even notice him until he started shouting.

Show quote history

I literally cannot find a reason.

Other than drugs, alcohol or some sort of mental illness?

Either way, considering he tried to punch you, I sincerely hope you reported to the police?

If not, the very least you might be able to do is warn local people on FB or a neighbourhood app.

CantBelieveNaive · 31/07/2024 23:41

FerreroFan · 31/07/2024 20:30

I'd be calling the police if I nearly got punched by a stranger. The man is dangerous to the public.

Too right!

Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:31

ScoliosisMum5 · 31/07/2024 23:26

In the air above your shoulder isn’t secure. I’m not saying that you did this (I’m certain you didn’t!) but in the past I have definitely experienced passers by accidentally getting hit by umbrellas being held in this position

Show quote history

Have you not held an umbrella with the handle part resting near the top of your legs with one hand at the bottom and another in the middle of the umbrella? The top doesn’t go very far past your shoulder. It’s pretty secure. But also far away from passers by. I’d passed dozens of people who didn’t bat an eyelid. It was also not a busy time of day and a wide path. There was no reason for any engagement or interaction.

OP posts:
Marlowejig · 31/07/2024 23:28

You did absolutely nothing wrong - he was completely out of line. I feel sorry for his partner if that is ‘normal’ behaviour for him…

Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:27

Ozgirl75 · 31/07/2024 23:22

When people behave in a mad way I always assume it’s about them rather than me, and I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He could be unmedicated, he could be high or drunk, or just some aggressive asshole, but I would just try to put it down to “loonies out there” and move on.

I wish I thought more like you. It’s made me so angry as there is literally nothing I can do in those situations except take the abuse and back away.

OP posts:
ScoliosisMum5 · 31/07/2024 23:26

VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:24

It was securely against my body and I had a solid hold. It was not going to fall or poke anyone. It was nowhere near him. Even if someone was right behind me (and this guy was walking towards me) they wouldn’t be touched by it.

Show quote history

In the air above your shoulder isn’t secure. I’m not saying that you did this (I’m certain you didn’t!) but in the past I have definitely experienced passers by accidentally getting hit by umbrellas being held in this position

Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:25

Fullyflavoured · 31/07/2024 20:20

How can carrying an umbrella be threatening? The OP wasn't brandishing it like a bloody sword. And even if it was annoying there is no excuse to shout abuse or threaten to punch someone.

Edited

Thank you. That’s what I wondered. He was a big bearded man. A lot bigger than me. I was no threat to him even if my umbrella was a sword.

OP posts:
Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:24

ScoliosisMum5 · 31/07/2024 20:14

Of course he was being very unreasonable to threaten you - disgusting behaviour on his behalf! He is slightly right re: carrying an umbrella like that though, could easily whack or poke someone without realising

It was securely against my body and I had a solid hold. It was not going to fall or poke anyone. It was nowhere near him. Even if someone was right behind me (and this guy was walking towards me) they wouldn’t be touched by it.

OP posts:
Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:22

clearmoon · 31/07/2024 20:15

where in the country was it raining today!? that gives me some hope - I am desperate for this weather to break.

Yes, umbrellas on a pavement can be very difficult to navigate, even threatening. Put them down or hold them out over the road to allow people to pass

I was just carrying it home. It wasn’t raining.

OP posts:
Ozgirl75 · 31/07/2024 23:22

When people behave in a mad way I always assume it’s about them rather than me, and I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He could be unmedicated, he could be high or drunk, or just some aggressive asshole, but I would just try to put it down to “loonies out there” and move on.

Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:21

WalkInAStraightLine · 31/07/2024 20:23

Was the umbrella open or closed?

It was closed. It just seemed an easy way to carry it.

OP posts:
clearmoon · 31/07/2024 23:21

VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:17

The umbrella was closed as it wasn’t raining. It was no closer to him than my body, which was far enough away to pass him without incident (at east a foot).

Show quote history

o, I see, if it was closed, I can't really see the problem.

Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:20

Whalewatching · 31/07/2024 20:30

Was he young or old, @VickyPollard25 ?

I’d guess early 30s

OP posts:
Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:19

Ohyoudodoyou · 31/07/2024 20:58

Doesn't matter if you were pretend jousting with your umbrella as you merrily toddled along, he is yet another insane, deranged angry man. They're everywhere now, just look at the news. Hope you enjoyed your podcast as you carried on your journey, not your fault OP.

Thank you so much. The whole incident has upset me so much. I keep thinking about what I could have possibly done to upset him. I literally cannot find a reason. I didn’t touch him or even notice him until he started shouting.

OP posts:
Original poster
VickyPollard25 · 31/07/2024 23:17

clearmoon · 31/07/2024 20:15

where in the country was it raining today!? that gives me some hope - I am desperate for this weather to break.

Yes, umbrellas on a pavement can be very difficult to navigate, even threatening. Put them down or hold them out over the road to allow people to pass

The umbrella was closed as it wasn’t raining. It was no closer to him than my body, which was far enough away to pass him without incident (at east a foot).

OP posts:
FreeezePeach · 31/07/2024 21:01

Such a bizarre reaction would make me think he was quite possibly mentally ill, and triggered somehow.

Am I being unreasonable to think he would never had said anything if I was a man? I am sure he acted that way because I’m a small woman and he wanted to be dominating.

None of us (including yourself) will never ever know this.

Ohyoudodoyou · 31/07/2024 20:58

Doesn't matter if you were pretend jousting with your umbrella as you merrily toddled along, he is yet another insane, deranged angry man. They're everywhere now, just look at the news. Hope you enjoyed your podcast as you carried on your journey, not your fault OP.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/07/2024 20:43

clearmoon · 31/07/2024 20:15

where in the country was it raining today!? that gives me some hope - I am desperate for this weather to break.

Yes, umbrellas on a pavement can be very difficult to navigate, even threatening. Put them down or hold them out over the road to allow people to pass

What?

An umbrella against your body is more dangerous or threatening than one being held out in the road??