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AIBU?

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Clare’s law disclosure

138 replies

Rachellilllian · 31/07/2024 17:08

I recently started seeing a guy and heard a rumour he may have hit an ex girlfriend. I did question him about it and he obviously lied, but I knew something felt off so I made an application to Clare’s law and they called me the same day with information that he is a serial domestic abuser. Clearly I need to end things but I don’t know how to navigate this. We are booked to go on holiday in a few days? Any suggestions would be appreciated

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 31/07/2024 17:29

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/07/2024 17:16

Don't go on the holiday. He may well choose having you off familiar territory and with nowhere to run to start getting aggressive.

Yes, having you in a location where you don't know anyone and couldn't immediately get to a safe place would be a win win for an abusive scumbag

Catza · 31/07/2024 17:26

I wouldn't get into a long discussion with him. It's not working out for you, good luck and good bye. Preferably, over the phone.
Going forward though, I would not plan a holiday with someone you just started dating recently. Save the holidays for your friends and a 12-months-plus relationships.

Colinthecaterpillarstrikesagain · 31/07/2024 17:20

Did the police give you any advice? As he already knows you suspected so maybe just tell him how you found out. Can you have other people with you when you do. The more people who know the better as he will be the first suspect t if anything happens to you. Add in that the police are checking up on you and with you regularly as he is now linked to your name. If he has any sense he will control himself and leave you alone. And be careful!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/07/2024 17:16

Don't go on the holiday. He may well choose having you off familiar territory and with nowhere to run to start getting aggressive.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/07/2024 17:15

Please tell me you're not actually thinking of going on holiday with this Prince?

StormingNorman · 31/07/2024 17:15

The holiday is beyond unimportant. Go somewhere safe - your parents? - and end it.

AngelusBell · 31/07/2024 17:14

He’ll have to go on holiday on his own and is likely to be furious - OP needs somewhere safe to go. Please don’t think it’s better to get the holiday out of the way and then end it - you are at risk.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 31/07/2024 17:14

Are you asking how to end the relationship or get out of the holiday?

TheShellBeach · 31/07/2024 17:14

You're not thinking of going on the holiday, surely?

Just tell him what you've found out, but make sure you're somewhere safe when you do so. Somewhere he doesn't know about. Have you got a friend or relative whose house he doesn't know about?

You must stay safe, OP. That means ending it immediately.

Lilith666 · 31/07/2024 17:12

Absolutely walk away and don't look back. He is not worthy of you.

Elmo230885 · 31/07/2024 17:11

Just walk away. Lose the money. Better than being stuck on holiday with an abusive liar.

thursdaymurderclub · 31/07/2024 17:09

just end it.. walk away.. even tell him if you want that you made the application! i'd rather lose the money on a holiday then spend another minute with a lying violent man!

VivaLaSpag · 31/07/2024 17:09

OP do you have a safe place where you can go and someone to support you?

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