Clare’s law disclosure

Danger increases dramatically at the time of leaving, so definitely tell him when you're not with him. My feeling is don't tell him the reason.

I would tell him the truth.

If he’s the type to get angry over this, then he’s going to do that regardless of the reason.

I would much rather he knew I was on to him.
He may be less likely to turn up if he thinks you know the truth.

You can say you found the information out and not go into detail.

As PPs have said, make sure it’s done over text and that you lock your doors etc and ring the police if there is any concerns.

Come down with something that insurance will cover and bail on the holiday, then end the fling.

I agree with what @Mugcake said.

You are angry, and that can make you want him to admit and repent. He's never going to do that.

Please just back away quietly.

Don't tell him why. He knows, because you asked him about it earlier. He knows you're onto him.

I'm really glad you're living somewhere secure. I'd just message saying whatever it takes to stop seeing him.

Definitely do it over the phone/text. You can either tell him you know or just a generic it's not working etc etc
Then block him on every single platform you can think of, these men are master manipulators and will probably try and talk you into staying.Maybe contemplate staying at a friend's/parents for a few days in case he turns up or have someone stay with you.
Good luck! Getting out is 100% the right decision.

Text him and say you don't want to see him anymore but good luck for the future. You don't have to mean it but it stays calm.

I agree with pp - you need to tell him you’re not ready for a relationship and need to be single. It’s more difficult for him to talk you round if you make it about you rather than criticising him (although he’ll might still try). It was far too soon to plan a holiday with him but you know that now!

I was in a similar situation (not Clare’s law, but info from a friend) and got myself out with the old “it’s not you; it’s me…” / “I’m just not ready for a relationship” scenario. I’m not sure it was the ‘right’ way to do it, but it safely got me away.

I don’t think confronting him or telling him you know will benefit you or him. Just get out and stay safe, tell him you’re not ready for a relationship or whatever lets you off the hook and doesn’t invite more questions. You did the right thing, your safety is the important thing here. Did the police have any advice?

End it over the phone and then take yourself somewhere for a while. Don't be predictable, I'm assuming he knows where you live. Also, let the police know you are going to end the relationship, this is crucial. So sorry you're going through this.

I've never heard of a Claire's Law request being responded to the same day, they must have been alarmed to see the request.

I agree you need to find a way to let him down really gently, then get yourself somewhere safe until you feel safe.

If he reacts aggressively, contact police.

And maybe don’t rush into a holiday so quickly after seeing someone? It seems a bit full on, but maybe he’s been love bombing you.

Please stay safe.

Save the holidays for your friends and a 12-months-plus relationships.

Even better, go on holiday solo. No need to put up with anyone's bullshit.

Get inspired on FB's Solo Women Travellers pages.

Can the police advise on how best to extract yourself from this relationship? Or a domestic abuse charity? I appreciate he hasn't done anything to you, but they'd be able to advise on the safest way to end this relationship. Make sure he doesn't have a key to your home? Do not, under any circumstances, go on holiday with him. Being away from home, away from family/friends would be the time he could decide to show his true colours. Men like this don't change their spots. I most definitely would not tell him you have contacted the police to initiate Claire's Law. This is likely to make him absolutely furious, and you may be on the receiving end his anger. Seek some proper professional help, in the best way forward.

I thought the police would give you follow up advice- phone them

you've just gone down with d and v, can't be away from the toilet. Best if he goes on the holiday on his own and has a nice time while you change your locks, install cameras and remove him from your life recover

Does he have a key to your place? I would get a Ring doorbell before I told him. I would end it with him by message rather than in person and I'd ask someone to stay the night with you if possible. You could reply to the police telling them you were going to end it, too.

How scary. Good for you, taking a rumour seriously and listening to your intuition.

Do you have children?

I think end it, and end it as soon as possible but in a way where you're safe. Do you live separately? Does he have keys to yours? Tell him over the phone or in a public place. If you live with him, then can you stay with family or friends? I don't think you should go on holiday with him (even though I'm sure you'll lose money and were looking forward to it) - if anything happens being away (doubly if it's abroad) will be so much harder and you need to look after your own safety.

Well done for not sitting back, and for taking the initiative to do this. You don't sound like the kind of woman who'd put up with this shit.

Agree with advice about being somewhere safe and ending it politely but without going into details.

Honestly I wouldn't tell him at all! It could make him angry or give him opportunity to spin you a story.

Just end things you don't owe him a reason for Christ sake.

Obviously you are not going on holiday with him but how to let him know you are not going and are ending the relationship? I would suggest text, not face to face, and have someone with you who can support you. Does he know where you live? If so, perhaps be elsewhere when you break off the relationship. Did the police give any advice on how to end it? I am not sure about whether you reveal the Clare's Law disclosure or not. Although he may guess but if you tell him, it may also incense him, and you need to make sure you are not alone with him at the time. So sorry, OP, but good luck. 💐

You need to get yourself to somewhere safe. Then text him and tell him it's over, you won't be going on the holiday, and you want no further contact from him. Then block.

Well done

do not go on holiday with him

do not discuss, leave to a safe location immediately - do not tell him where you are

End the relationship - do not engage in back and forth with him