Clare’s law disclosure

I agree- the law was created to protect vulnerable women and right now that’s you OP - if he knows the police are aware of your relationship then he’s going to worry about further charges and I believe that his freedom matters more to him than hurting you…. The tragic truth is that he can and probably will find another victim to replace you who isn’t as switched on as you are- thankfully! Please don’t be alone until you know he’s decided to ‘let you go’ x

I actually agree with this.

if he has half a brain he will leave you well alone.

Agree that in this instance, honesty is NOT the best policy.

Dangerous men need handling with extreme caution.

Do the "it's not you it's me", keep it simple, don't reply to further messages and then be prepared to call the police immediately if he turns up at your door or messages anything inappropriate.

Letting him know you know is a recipe for instant escalation.

Definitely get advice from police/women's aid on how to end things before doing anything.

Two stages: 1. You're too ill to go on holiday, but he can go, and if he wants you to change the name on the ticket, to let you know so he can take someone else.

Whilst he's away, get organised - change locks if he has a key etc. When he messages when away, bland, grey rock responses.

Stage 2 is the break up, so he's already had a week or so of feeling that you're not as keen (and hopefully he's shagged someone else, so full of confidence that he'll easily replace you).

My instinct would be not to mention the CL disclosure - he'll paint you a picture of how these women/the police/the courts fecked him over, he's not like that with you, you're special, he's learnt his lesson, he doesn't know what he'll do without you, blah blah blah. You'll be suckered back into it.

Remember you don't owe this animal anything, let alone a truthful explanation or to even listen to 'his side'.

You are at your most vulnerable if you let him know that you know - he has nothing left to lose so may become violent.
I would only be as straight as the poster above suggests if you really are secure in your building and your work place and you really are willing to immediately request police protection.
if not or you don’t feel it would be safe I would think the safest thing to do is end things as blandly as possible - and block.

I agree with this. I don't think a man like that would just accept 'its not you, it's me / not ready for a relationship' and not get really angry when you supposed to be going on holiday in a few days.

Very much this.

This. Get professionals involved. The moment he contacts you, he gets a non-molestation order.

Don’t tell him you know. You might leak how you initially found out and he could shut down that source for future women.

Keep yourself safe.

End it with him from a distance. Perhaps offer him your share of the holiday if he wants to take someone else - might also help you to know he is not around for a few days.

Gosh some split opinions on here about what to say to him.

I wonder what police/ woman’s aid would say

I think that is excellent advice.

Agree, just go with, I'm not ready for a relationship, take care and good luck.

Good luck OP

Also this

I would agree with this. If you have any come back from him via text, then ask the police for help and they will contact him and tell him that you have asked him to stay away so any further contact or attempts to visit you will be seen as harassment.

Also, ask the police if they can put a note on your phone number so that any 999 calls received from it are answered urgently.

Just end it. Text/call. Report to police any nastiness

Firstly well done to trust your gut. You’ve saved yourself years of pain by asking the police for help.

Agree with the suggestion to tell the police on the day you’re splitting up and asking their advice.

Stay with a friend/ family member for moral and physical support.

Block him on every single medium. Keep blocking any sock puppet accounts set up by him.

You could also speak to women’s aid to get their advice.

Don’t hesitate to call 999. If you think it’s an overreaction it absolutely isnt.

This is so tricky. We will all have opinions on what to do but is there anyone here like police or social worker etc who knows actually that the right thing to do is?

I think I disagree with the advice here - I would text that you've received a Claire's Law disclosure that he is a serial domestic abuser, you have notified the police and women's aid of your decision to end the relationship now and that if he contacts you again on any platform it will be immediately referred to the police. I would make it crystal clear in writing that the police are already aware and involved. I think this is your best bet for staying safe and forestall any further discussion/harassment

There's no point in telling him as he will just lie to wheel you back in.

Do not tell him the reason. Bland and cliched . Google some!

Stay somewhere else or be somewhere else when you tell him. Have a plan for cancelling the holidays.

How long have you been with him?

Definitely do not confront him with this information and the CL disclosure. Your priority now is safety and extricating yourself unscathed.

Time for a generic, grey rock, bland break up message and then block. You owe him nothing. You owe you everything. Don't look back!

I would suggest asking the police for help and advice on this. They obviously know his history and know (I would guess in more detail than they have told you?) what he is capable of, so would be best place to help.

The police should have given you advice on ending the relationship after disclosure of multiple offences.

Whatever you do, don't tell him you know. The police should have also told you not to tell anyone about the disclosure.

Avoid seeing him, end things via text like PPs say and block him.

I wouldn't tell him the reason.