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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know when to just go 'fuck it, sack off the holiday and go home'

407 replies

kaleidoscoperuby · 31/07/2024 16:44

We're on a UK holiday and DS14 is just vile. He had no complaints about the planned holiday when it was booked 18 months ago but has been saying recently he didn't want to go. We offered for him to stay with GPs, he said no. He's angry, rude, uncommunicative, storming ahead, tutting, sighing - generally has a face like thunder.

He's autistic but well travelled and we're pretty good at dealing with his needs - was all factored in.

We're away for 10 days with a week to go. I'm just thinking we should go home and be done. But it seems like such a waste. We're many hours from home.

When do you give up and go home? Is that just teaching them that behaving badly = getting what they want?

When do you stop travelling as teens are so vile? We have quite a few abroad trips planned over the next few years but I'm considering cancelling them all but I really love travelling (and we won't be able to leave DS at home for many years due to his needs so no holidays for anyone).

OP posts:
Eversonotwell · 31/07/2024 16:52

Can the GPs come and collect him from a middle ground area?

Finnulafishface · 31/07/2024 16:50

Take a deep breath and just let it go over your head - like it’s that easy! 😄

As others have said, don’t give up yet, it’s early days and he might we’ll get into the swing of things himself. It’s such a difficult age, your post brought it all back, a particular holiday in Cornwall when one of mine was that age that almost drove me to jump off a cliff 😁

NatureofSociety · 31/07/2024 16:48

Our (now adult) autistic DC behaved like that when overwhelmed. Is there something missing that helps them regulate? They also were well travelled from a very young age, and we had some rocky trips till we worked out that they needed more downtime than we expected.

I would try not to go home yet. Apart from setting a precedent, I'd find it hard not to resent the DC.

AllyCart · 31/07/2024 16:48

Sounds tough, OP!

With regard to it feeling like a waste if you do go home, do you think there's any prospect of the holiday getting better?

If no, then look at it in the context of 'sunk cost'. You can either stay there and be miserable 'to get your money's worth' or abandon it and go home if that will be more pleasant.

The money is spent either way, so irrelevant really.

otravezempezamos · 31/07/2024 16:48

Are you alone? Or do you have a partner who you can go off for the day with.

So sorry OP. He is being a horrible little shit. I would make holiday sabotage a hanging offense (lighthearted but it’s not on)

Chickendinner24 · 31/07/2024 16:47

Just leave him at the accommodation and crack on? They're a flipping nightmare and I was too at that age. Leave him be and enjoy your time.

Lentilweaver · 31/07/2024 16:47

Dont go home. Teens are vile, even the NT ones. Can you get out by yourself for a bit? A walk, a swim, a visit to an attraction on your own?