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Huw Edwards case - the impact on family

217 replies

therunningman · 31/07/2024 16:31

Spare a thought for Huw Edwards family today. They must be going through hell and feeling deeply conflicted right now. This is something that will reverberate through their lives for years to come. And being such a public figure, impossible to forget or box away as a "family secret" (yes, every family has them) in the future.

I write from bitter experience. Some years ago my dad was similarly prosecuted and pleaded guilty. Completely out of character and out of the blue. Outcome was some sort of supervision order. No custodial or suspended sentence.

Fast forward today and my wife refuses to have anything to do with my parents, they are persona non grata to her, completely. On the other hand I refused to "cancel" my dad just like that. This has placed a huge strain on our marriage and mental health at times. To compound difficulties my sibling and their partner found a way to forgive. They remain very close to my parents and holiday with them and do all the usual family stuff Christmas etc. regularly. Watching that is very hard for me. (You'll notice I've written parents, yes they remained together.)

It's all too easy to join a braying mob ("peado!") but very very difficult for close family to navigate. There is no right or wrong answer and certainly no guidebook.

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really?

There is no greater test of your marriage than that (or indeed your relationship with you in-laws), trust me.

OP posts:
EnterFunnyNameHere · 31/07/2024 17:28

I'm not a parent, and can honestly say if anyone in my life was found to be a paedophile that would be the end of them being in my life. If someone is contributing to child abuse by owning images of the same, I don't want them in my life in any capacity. For me, it would not be difficult to navigate, there would be a right answer and I wouldn't need a guidebook.

I do feel for the family in this situation on the assumption they knew nothing about it and have just had their lives turned upside down. Less sympathy for them finding it "hard" to manage their ongoing relationship with someone who gets off on the sexual abuse of children.

Growsomeballswoman · 31/07/2024 17:26

He is evil, the little boys on the videos were under 9 years old. Hope he rots.

sonofrageandlove · 31/07/2024 17:25

Does your sister have children OP?

KeirSpoutsTwaddle · 31/07/2024 17:25

It’s so clear cut and yet it isn’t , if you start somewhere else.

Men seem to swap dirty pictures- share porn.
Some men are interested in ‘twinks’, just like men were interested in Sam Fox.

If men are swapping images like that, many people think nothing of it.

I think it’s disgusting, but it’s legal.

Then, in among the usual pictures, images of children that are 13-15 crop up- which were most of the cat A pictures.

I think it’s a bit like boiling a frog.
It’s gone too far before you know it, you’re up to your neck and complicit with child sexual abuse.

Good moment to see your lawyer and check yourself into rehab.

But he deleted it, ignored it and just carried on with the legal images.

🤢

wheretoyougonow · 31/07/2024 17:25

You say there is no wrong or right answer for close family. Yes there is. Don't continue to support someone who abuses children.
As a side note your wife is awesome and is not allowing an abuser or an abuser supporter to dictate how she should think or behave.

a222 · 31/07/2024 17:24

PangolinPan · 31/07/2024 16:47

"Suppose this happened to your father in law"

Nothing "happened" to your dad. He chose to view images of children being abused, thus creating demand for more children to be abused and abusing those children again by looking at the images. He chose to do that. He chose to do it in spite of being a father and grandfather himself, knowing it was illegal. He got caught and he chose to plead guilty, likely because of overwhelming evidence. So I would cut him off and thank god he was caught.

Edited

perfect reply

yeesh · 31/07/2024 17:21

Fucking grown up, jealous because your sibling goes on holiday with a pervert! Obviously you have a fucked ip family, glad your wife is protecting your children

a222 · 31/07/2024 17:20

anyone who acts upon their urges towards children be that physically or online automatically waives their right to be treated with any humanity in my book. but that’s just me!

ashitghost · 31/07/2024 17:20

Men like your father can never be rehabilitated. He’s sick in his mind. It IS his character. Over my dead body would I let my children near him. Back up your wife.

WhyAreYou · 31/07/2024 17:20

This has made me wonder if you'd cut off a DC who did similar. (Obviously not excusing it)

Singinghollybob · 31/07/2024 17:19

I'm with your DW all the way. I'd cut contact with all the family making excuses for him and still seeing him. If that included you, I'd divorce you as I just couldn't stomach looking at you.

NewtGuineaPig · 31/07/2024 17:18

I would cut him out completely and I would expect my DH to as well. I don't think I would want anything to do with family members who stood by either. I don't feel sorry for family members who stand by these men even if I recognise that it may be difficult for them.

CottonwoolCubes · 31/07/2024 17:18

givemushypeasachance · 31/07/2024 16:59

Have people read the coverage from today that sets out what Huw Edwards actually did? The charge of "making images" always conjures up actually producing them, but it's a technical term linked to the images being on his phone. He was sent them by someone else, amongst other legal images of adults. He expressly told the other person multiple times not to send any underage photos and not to send him anything illegal. I'm not excusing what he did as some of the photos must have been obviously illegal material and he should have reported that once he saw them - but there isn't any suggestion that I've seen that he was actively seeking it out?

Or he said that in case he got caught.

He carried on conversing with a fucking paedophile.

babycalf · 31/07/2024 17:17

I'm really not in the mood to be mansplained to this week.

bombastix · 31/07/2024 17:17

Rocketpants50 · 31/07/2024 17:14

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jul/27/husband-viewing-child-abuse-images

This article was in the guardian over the weekend. Interesting read from the wife's point of view.

I read this and thought the self serving narrative of the husband the more interesting. Her efforts to be “normal” will probably hurt her in the long run.

Scirocco · 31/07/2024 17:17

It wouldn't be much of a test for our marriage, actually. Convicted sex offender = no contact with our DC, ever, and ideally no contact with the rest of us either.

Rocketpants50 · 31/07/2024 17:14

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jul/27/husband-viewing-child-abuse-images

This article was in the guardian over the weekend. Interesting read from the wife's point of view.

SuperBatFace · 31/07/2024 17:13

I do spare a thought for Huw's wife (although I know she has left him now) and their 5 children. Must be hell for them

In your situation OP, I would take the stance of your wife however you would be free to still see your dad as I would understand that you would feel a whole range of conflicting emotions. Your father would not be seeing any children we might have though and I'd expect you to agree to that

mitogoshi · 31/07/2024 17:11

Obviously there is a sliding scale of offences, having a photo of a 17 year old, consensually taken (because the photographer believed they were older) is an offence but it certainly cannot be treated the same as under 13's who cannot legally consent or in between if coerced. The HE situation is at the most serious end of this spectrum it seems

BeckiWithAnI · 31/07/2024 17:10

If it was my FIL he’d be dead to me and my children. If MIL stayed with him, she’d be dead to us as well.
I can’t control what DH would do, and if he wants to make occasional visits, that’s up to him. But not with the kids and he’s not sending any pictures or anything to him either. Grandparents have no immediate right to have access to their grandchildren, and a paedophile absolutely bloody not.

Omlettes · 31/07/2024 17:10

therunningman · 31/07/2024 16:31

Spare a thought for Huw Edwards family today. They must be going through hell and feeling deeply conflicted right now. This is something that will reverberate through their lives for years to come. And being such a public figure, impossible to forget or box away as a "family secret" (yes, every family has them) in the future.

I write from bitter experience. Some years ago my dad was similarly prosecuted and pleaded guilty. Completely out of character and out of the blue. Outcome was some sort of supervision order. No custodial or suspended sentence.

Fast forward today and my wife refuses to have anything to do with my parents, they are persona non grata to her, completely. On the other hand I refused to "cancel" my dad just like that. This has placed a huge strain on our marriage and mental health at times. To compound difficulties my sibling and their partner found a way to forgive. They remain very close to my parents and holiday with them and do all the usual family stuff Christmas etc. regularly. Watching that is very hard for me. (You'll notice I've written parents, yes they remained together.)

It's all too easy to join a braying mob ("peado!") but very very difficult for close family to navigate. There is no right or wrong answer and certainly no guidebook.

I'll leave you then with an open and hypothetical question. Suppose this happened to your father in law, seemingly out of the blue. You have primary school children. How would you react, and what would you expect your wife/husband to do? Really?

There is no greater test of your marriage than that (or indeed your relationship with you in-laws), trust me.

Protecting children comes first and that should be a given for you.
Stopping generational trauma in its tracks.
Im sorry but I think you are looking for justification and I think you are being unfair to your wife who doesnt have your family ties. Your defence of him must make her feel very uncomfortable.

So the best I can say is, continue your relationship with your dad but under no circumstances should your wife and children be involved.
And you must not pressure them to reinforce your own conflictions.
Quite shocked that you would even consider it. I think you are being naive and unreasonable.

AngryLikeHades · 31/07/2024 17:09

The tabloids say that Huw and his wife separated a while ago and that he has been living at another residence in London.
Not mini-mizing anything, just a response to a question.

CottonwoolCubes · 31/07/2024 17:08

'Completely out of character' my arse. He managed to hide his character.

I don't know what treatment is available to suppress such urges, but your father did not need to feed into the market for child abuse photos.

I'm with your wife and I'm surprised she didn't leave you. The fact you can't leave him makes me wonder whether there is coersive control over you too.

mitogoshi · 31/07/2024 17:07

This happened to my friend, grandfather rather than dad, he lived with my friend, past tense he was out by the end of the day, children come first. He died before it came to trial, took an overdose

bombastix · 31/07/2024 17:06

I think a lot of people decide that they cannot make a moral choice. They have invested too much in a person to protect their children. Unfortunately that means children are at risk. A lot of people cannot comprehend child abuse. Because the child do not have the words, or because they are young they will not be believed or no real change occurs because it suits the adult. A morally weak one.