Aibu to want to homeschool my child with everything going on

You need to be really careful that your anxiety does not rub off on your child, what happened is incredibly rare, most schools have security measures in place anyway.

@Ella2001 I think you are being unfairly treated in this thread.

My son is 25 and they have had their first daughter. We live in NI too and thank god for it every day.

I think we don't see half the social issues they do in England. I have relatives in Liverpool and this has been the decider for them to move home.

Home schooling isn't as Prevalent here as it is over there. However it does seem to be popular choice in Special needs kids. (I home schooled my youngest as he was not being taught the curriculum in his SN school)

Your wee baby is only 9 months and you are still shiny new mummy and wanting to protect her from everything.

You will learn as she grows that she needs more than you to flourish and I can bet by the time she is 4 you will be glad of the respite for her to go to school.

Our culture and society in NI is different to that over the water at the minute. I honestly feel we are safer. Long may that last.

Enjoy being a mama and cherish this time with baby. Don't let anxiety rule your life or detract from your parenting. Join social groups for mums and babies and socialise in a safe space. ❤️

I'm not sure if anyone has picked up on the OP being from Northern Ireland. While she herself seems too young to have lived through the troubles, her parents and people around her won't be - and people's decision making was definitely impacted by the fear of sudden attacks - well that's the point of terrorism really, to provoke fear. OP this is a much safer time for you to be bringing your lo up than it was previously, and you are in generally a safer part of the U.K.

I suffer from anxiety and have intrusive thoughts about this sort of thing all the time.

but, realistically: this is most likely not to happen again in the UK: last time it happened was about 30 years ago.

your child will most certainly be absolutely fine at nursery and school

@Edingril
"Anxiety seems to be endless excuse on here, deal with that if you are that anxious how on earth could you successfully home-schooling a child?

Let alone putting your issues on to her none of it makes sense"

I guess you've not had anxiety. Anxiety is a mental health condition not an excuse. Anxiety is irrational. It is awful to have and experience it. Nobody wants to have it or live with it.

(It's not to be confused with being anxious which is a normal part of being human and the range of emotions we experience.)

Are you literally never going to leave the house with her OP?

My mum was one of these. She homeschooled me for secondary and tried to fool herself that it was because we didn't like school. I was playing along with her delusion as I knew it would make her happy and kinder to me.

I barely got any gcses and had to actually go to college and do resits.

It is 100% parental anxiety.

At the primary age maybe parents feel fooled by how easy it is - maybe a bit of basic numeracy and literacy they can cope with but what about gcse and alevel.

Will you be able to teach your child and help them understand the structure of an atom? Or quadratic equations. Or to speak another language? Because these things are not intuitive and you need to be taught by someone who knows what it all means.

I totally get your anxiety - everyone who is a parent will.
However, this didn't happen at school - by this rationale, you'd need to lock her away from the whole world and that is no life to lead. Children need and deserve to be in the world with friends and space to explore and learn.

Take her outside today in the sun and stop to notice summertime - see the butterflies and the dappled sun among the trees and listen to the birds sing. Show your daughter all the wonders these poor little girls can no longer enjoy and make sure to see some joy in the moment.

Homschooling can be beneficial for certain children who need it and it being done properly, not because mummy has issues

A primary school is probably one of the safest places a child in the UK could be. Just thinking about my own child's school, you would need to get past a locked gate/fence with CCTV, a second locked gate/fence which is a good 8ft high, through past staff in reception and through 2 sets of locked doors before you'd even come into contact with a child.

I feel sorry for your daughter.

Are you going to keep her inside for life?

No but not allowing independence because of a parents anxiety is.

Life is scary, but this event is a once in a lifetime thing - like Dunblane.

Once in a lifetime was once to many for the children that lost their life.

Children don't necessarily know! Ours weren't aware of the precautions I mentioned above, taken for their safety, they also didn't know until the fantastic Deutschland 83 was on TV that we had had briefings and detailed instructions were in the sideboard covering what would happen should the 'balloon go up'!

You acknowledge it wasn’t school but a dance class but you want to homeschool her so she doesn’t come to harm. Even though it happened at a dance class. So you would need to keep her away from everything. You being anxious about events is something your daughter is going to pick up on. So yes, unless you get your anxiety in order you are going to be living a very secluded life and you might as well be locking her up and throwing away the key.

Also, it is statistically unlikely your child will come to harm in one of these events. Home is also not harm free, children die at home too. It’s not always someone deliberately taking that child’s life, it’s often an accident to a heartbroken family and so there isn’t a national news campaign but sometimes just a local one offering sympathies.

Worrying about losing your daughter means you will rob her of a life of her own. The chance to make her own mistakes. To see her grow into her own person. So yes YABU and for your child’s sake you need to get a hand on your anxiety. It’s normal to be affected by it, especially when you can picture your child in their place, acknowledge those feelings but let your daughter live her life without those anxieties.

It's perfectly reasonable to be upset by what has happened and to worry about the safety of your child, but I don't see what schooling has to do with it? Schools, in the UK, at least, are probably pretty much the safest place children can be.

It's metaphorically locking someone up though isn't it. Not allowing independence has a lot of similarities to locking someone up. That's what people are trying to say.

We are a home ed family and voted that you are being unreasonable. These events are very upsetting but are thankfully rare, you shouldn’t be scared to let your children enjoy and experience life. As a home ed family, we go to loads of different events and I drop them off to forest groups/football/home ed camps/scouts etc so they aren’t ALWAYS in my care and I have to trust that they will be safe and trust the leaders of those groups. Home ed is brilliant and a wonderful way to bring up a family, however, if you are only considering it due to safety concerns then I would maybe re-think. I think schools have locked doors and things in place to mitigate risks as much as possible.

No you basically said you'd go everywhere with her which is equally damaging. Kids need independence when they are old enough for it.