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Original poster

Appropriate level of celebration?

38 replies

Saoirse96 · 30/07/2024 22:13

I submitted my masters thesis yesterday. My husband didn't get me anything, plan anything, and just said well done and that was it. I've not had a life for the past 6 months. Throughout this I've consistently done majority housework and worked two jobs over 5-7 days a week. It's felt like such a slog.

For all of his special achievements and occasions I bake, host and organise surprise parties, get meaningful gifts, decorate with balloons and banners, plan entertainment, you name it.

I feel so deflated. Is it just onto the next grind and move on? Am I being bratty? I'm not able to attend graduation so I won't get a celebration there. I wonder if I'm just being an ingrate and maybe I'm just tired.

OP posts:
Original poster
Saoirse96 · 30/07/2024 22:29

LadyGAgain · 30/07/2024 22:16

Congratulations - that's a phenomenal achievement. And with 2 jobs and a house to run!! Well done. It's forever surprising that men felt they were always the superior sex....
Anyway, you should be very proud of yourself. What does this mean for you in life? A career change? The possibility of working just one job and getting some time to yourself back?

And no you're not wrong to be disappointed with his attitude. Do you have some girlfriends you can call on for solidarity and some fuss. Maybe he needs to see how proud they are of you to realise he is being a pig.

Thank you so much. It means everything really - massive career (and financial) change next year but plodding along this year in existing jobs to allow me the time to finish renovating and landscaping.

One of my friends called me this morning to invite me to her city for a week at the end of August, so I think I might just head there 😊

OP posts:
Shineabrightlight · 30/07/2024 22:29

Well done OP. That's a great achievement and you've had to work really hard.

Personally I'm not one to expect big celebrations but as you make sure to celebrate your DH's achievements and he must know these things are important to you I think it's sad that he didn't bother to mark the occasion for you.

Doingmybest12 · 30/07/2024 22:25

Well done, it must feel like a huge relief.But isn't the celebration after the result or have you received that?

theresapossuminthekitchen · 30/07/2024 22:22

I think you would be a little unreasonable to expect the same level of fuss that you give him - balloons, etc. feels a little ott for most, I think, and I would assume you were doing that because you enjoy it as much as for the person receiving it. However, I think some kind off recognition like a meal out to celebrate, bunch of flowers, etc. would be pretty normal and quite sad that he hasn’t thought of doing that. I’d be disappointed too.

Original poster
Saoirse96 · 30/07/2024 22:22

Thank you so much.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 30/07/2024 22:22

Well the obvious answer is tone down what you do for him as he obviously doesn’t feel celebrating is necessary . Congratulations

Original poster
Saoirse96 · 30/07/2024 22:21

I'm actually bubbling 🥲

OP posts:
SingingSands · 30/07/2024 22:20

Stuff him! Let's celebrate on this thread! You've done an amazing thing!

So, for you I have:

  1. 🍾🥂
  2. 🎂🍰
  3. 🎉🥳
  4. ❤️

I recognise how much work this takes, the sacrifices you've had to make and the exhausting juggle of life of you've had to do to get to this point.

You are amazing 👏🏼

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 30/07/2024 22:18

Well done! Such an achievement. I also finished my Master's whilst working and being the main parent for my dc (3 of them). I think I got a 'well done' too, and reminded of how many days I spent away at uni studying.

DayOutInRome · 30/07/2024 22:16

That’s sad that your husband doesn’t do anything nice like this for you. Why can’t you attend graduation though?

LadyGAgain · 30/07/2024 22:16

Congratulations - that's a phenomenal achievement. And with 2 jobs and a house to run!! Well done. It's forever surprising that men felt they were always the superior sex....
Anyway, you should be very proud of yourself. What does this mean for you in life? A career change? The possibility of working just one job and getting some time to yourself back?

And no you're not wrong to be disappointed with his attitude. Do you have some girlfriends you can call on for solidarity and some fuss. Maybe he needs to see how proud they are of you to realise he is being a pig.

RobertSalamander · 30/07/2024 22:15

That’s very rubbish. This is Mumsnet so you’ll be told to grow up, but IMO celebrating big events in your life is a normal and nice thing to do and actually marks your achievements. The little things mean a lot as that saying goes!

Well done you 🥂💐

Dancingfairydreams · 30/07/2024 22:15

That sucks! Congrats @Saoirse96 Well done for all your hard work 👏

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