Hello,
I left an emotionally abusive relationship in January but we have children and so we need to stay friendly. He works abroad for around 9 months of the year so it's been fairly easy for me to detach, however, this last weekend I reached out to him to join me and the children at a local festival that I go to with my Mum and Dad and brother every year. He said he would come for the Friday and the Saturday and so we got him a discounted ticket.
My Mum lives opposite the festival and so offered to put him up and made sure he had everything he needed for a comfrotable stay. He had all the beer he could want, all the food he could want, a lovely clean and laundered room to stay in with the children and of course we made him feel welcome.
On the Saturday night, My Mum and Dad offered to take the kids home so we could roam around the festival - as friends of course. We watched a bit of music and then I started to get really tired as I look after the children on my own - he doesn't read to them, doesn't do bath time, doesn't take them anywhere...he will stay in bed whilst I get up with them so I didn't want to be too tired when they got up the next morning.
The festival is a bout a mile walk from the house in the dark and as he had other friends at the festival, I said to him 'why don't you stay, I will be fine' to which he kept replying 'nah, I will walk you home as it's not safe and you never know what's going to happen etc. etc.' He kept up this narrative until suddenly, he spotted a young girl he knew (maybe 15 years our junior) and lunged over to greet her. He told her my name but didn't tell me how they knew each other. She said she was there alone. He then continued to stand with her and talk and when there was a lull in the conversation, he didn't say 'well it's nice to see you, I had better get the mother of my children home safely' he waited...and waited until I got the hint and finally said 'oh, don't worry, I will walk myself home' to which he replied 'OK! If you're sure'
It isn't the worst thing he has ever done to me (he pushed me once when I was holding my newborn and also came home at 7am high on pills and cocaine just after I had had our first child) but it hurt DEEPLY.
Am I being a narcissist here by needing to control his reactions to seeing other women? I am so, SO confused. I don't know which way is up and wonder if I am crazy to feel disrespected. I sobbed all the way home.