Did you request a c section? If so was it difficult to get it?

That is fucking awful. I hope you did complain. To the highest level.

This kind of thing can deeply affect the rest of someone's life.

I am tiny but I'm also a nurse with some midwifery training so I knew not to go for a section if I could avoid it. When I went into labour they actually booked a theatre for me just in case based on my size and the size of my son. It wasn't needed and he was born naturally as were my other big babies.

People think they know themselves but for goodness sake don't think you know better than people with years and years of training and experience before you even start. If it was that easy to make a decision then everyone would be doctors or nurses 😤

Just saying in general women's babies will be a similar build to them, but obviously there are some exceptions, I was trying to be supportive for OP!

I said it's harder to have decent/strong pain relief if you are breastfeeding but not impossible. I was given codeine but couldn't really take it and feed her.

Your point about the women and children who died in childbirth is completely the point I always make.
People always go on about “back in the day…” like times were better. Well history is written by the victors. Those who had complications often died and so did their babies, we aren’t hearing about “in my day” from them because they didn’t live to pass on their stories.
There’s a little spoken of rumour in my family that after losing a baby during childbirth my great-grandma had a backstreet abortion when she fell pregnant again. She died of some mysterious illness that we now believe was some kind of infection or complication of the abortion. She was 29 with two surviving children. It’s a bloody tragedy and I bet there are thousands and thousands of stories like that forgotten to time where intervention would have saved lives.

Try telling my size 6 5ft3 frame that it "shouldn't have grown" my 9lb9 baby, that physically wouldn't fit through my birth canal, and ended up in an emergency section and blood transfusion due to the trauma of my body trying to defy the law of physics. Many many women and babies used to die during childbirth, and thankfully now are a much more rare occurrence, one reason due to Csections being widely available to those who need it or come into difficulties during birth. I had sections, and breastfed both of mine (who bth have great immune systems actually, and are rarely ever ill) to 2 years, of course you can have pain relief when recovering from a section, that's nonsense.

Absolutely agree with you. And as I said, it's not a criticism of mums making choices right for them and their babies, and sometimes as you say medically necessary. But rather a criticism of a stretched system, which cannot easily be fixed by just throwing money at it, and explaining that midwives who try to put people off having elective c sections are not just being awkward, but trying to balance the needs of all mums and babies. But if they are going to encourage some not to have an e section, it needs to be the right ones.

Which I fully understand. But in my situation, I could not give birth vaginally, it had to be a c section. So trying to persuade me to reconsider was concerning as it showed a poor understanding of a very straightforward medical issue.

I had an elective c section as I was frightened. The reason was because my first ended in an emergency c section so I was kind of traumatised as everything went wrong.

It appears to be very common among older women so that might be your pee group, it is mine. Most seem to have a quite traumatic attempt at vaginal and then emergency C-section for their first and then elective for their second.

Because of this and some additional risks I'm having an elective for my first which was fully supported, but I live in Canada where you are given a free choice of both under the public system right up until when the head is crowning .

It's actually tommorow and I'm so excited I've not known what to do with myself all morning. Got a check up soon and then DH is picking me up and we're going for foot massage and dinner.

I compared it to my hysterectomy so obviously I understand abdominal surgery lol.

Good job I didn't have cs then as I needed to be able to drive to take DD1 to nursery and she went through a pick me up stage. Didn't have someone off work for weeks to help out so would've been extremely difficult to cope

Transverse lie here so no option but I think I'd had had a fight on my hands otherwise. Several of my colleagues were pregnant at the same time as me and a couple had emergency CS, they had a tough time so I landed up being very grateful to my DS!!

This.. most I know have ongoing issues from vaginal birth even into old age.. my mum had to have prolapse ops multiple times in her 50s, piles removed from all her births, incontinence help etc
I LOVE that I had sections and didn't have to go through vaginal trauma. I got my 2 no problem

would cost the NHS a fortune and was a bad person for taking money from the NHS needlessly.

If every woman had a c-section, it would actually be cheaper than the current model, when compared to to the ongoing and future cost of treatment of birth injuries to both mother and children, and the cost of compensation for legal claims.

I was in hospital due to pre-eclampsia and my friend, on another ward asked to visit me and was told no, because apparently I was on bed rest waiting for a c-section, first I had heard anything about it!
so I packed my bag and went to discharge myself!
unless it was an emergency and my baby was at risk then no way was I having a c-section!
They told me if I stayed they’d induce me, so I stayed!
I had an horrendous normal delivery, from start til finish I was 11 hours and had goodness knows how many stitches 🤣🤣
I was ready to go home next morning, those who had c-sections had to stay in a week years ago, no way!
My daughter was exactly the same, she refused a C-section and she gave birth, came home 8 hours after and was out and about, driving her car and picking her other child up from school, like she said, she wouldn’t be able to drive for a month after a C-section,

Its not unique to c sections, you will be advised after any abdominal surgery not to drive for about 6 weeks and the same thing with heavy lifting.
My toddler was almost 2.5 when I had my second emergency section. They didn’t need lifted that much, got into bed etc. DH had 5 weeks paternity do did any of the laborious stuff during that time. Toddler understand we could cuddle on the sofa but I couldn’t just carry them about, I couldn’t carry them about during the later weeks of pregnancy so it wasn’t a sudden shift anyway.
Friends who had bad vaginal births had similar limits with their recovery anyway.

I really don't give a damn whether other people have a CS or not although it's not something id do ( as stated in earlier post when they tried to bully me into one) but I do have a question. Is it correct that you not meant to lift anything heavy for weeks ( as I was told for hysterectomy)? If so how do you manage if you have toddlers as well. And what about driving ?

You can have strong pain meds with a section. I had morphine, Tramadol, codeine and goodness knows what else immediately from birth. And yes, I was breastfeeding. I was told I could only take paracetamol and ibuprofen once I got home so I stayed in an extra day (48 hours total) to get the good stuff so I felt confident managing when I got home. And I did manage absolutely fine. In fact was going out for walks within a couple of days and went out for several birthday meals and a day out 6 days after birth (my birthday and DS are very close together). I’ve had friends who had ELCS they all had similar experiences to me. This did however get sent home with strong painkillers, so I guess my hospital just didn’t offer that!

Your friend sounds great. I would have loved a midwife like her. Instead, I got the other type.

The type of midwives your friend would sack have no business being anywhere near a maternity unit.

The time and effort spent bullying women into an unwanted 'natural' birth would be far better spent on the CS itself.

All reasons should be valid, no woman should have to beg for a CS.

I was told CS recovery was awful with risk of infection, a bad surgery leading to nerves to the bladder and clitoris severed, I wouldn't be able to BF, I'd not be able to walk and look after my baby for 6 weeks. Name any nightmare scenario and I was told it.

At the last appointment I was told I was a terrible mother for trying to have a CS, would cost the NHS a fortune and was a bad person for taking money from the NHS needlessly.

Would that make me an awful person for having my appendix out without anaesthesia? Or my wisdom teeth? These happen 'naturally' to the human body, too.

I get so bloody angry about this.

I requested one after a first traumatic vaginal birth.

My midwife read the notes from my first birth and said she'd recommend a section.

I think with a valid reason, there's no reason to decline.

I chose one as I lost a baby in horrible circumstances and couldn’t face a vaginsl birth. There will be many reasons women want a c section I find it odd that you can’t comprehend this?

I was in hospital for one night and went home in the morning and my recovery was great, I didn’t struggle at all. I don’t think 4/5 days is usual.

You only take paracetamol and ibuprofen if you’ve had a C section anyway.

The good thing is you don’t need to understand, their decision has nothing to do with you.
Only 16% of births are elective sections so quite obviously everyone doesn’t opt for one. Plus that includes those who have had previous emergency sections, things like breech babies and all sorts of medical reasons for a section being recommended. A much smaller percentage is actually true maternal choice.

I was home from my elective c section within 24 hours. It was a much much easier recovery than my vaginal birth too. Both initially and long term. Still have issues from the vaginal birth 3+ years later

Told the midwife at my booking appt. She referred me to the consultant who I met with at about 20 weeks. I had valid reasons for wanting it. They outlined the risks and gave me a date on the spot, no questions asked. Was documented as 'maternal request'

My booking appt was at 6 weeks due to health conditions, I said at that appt I wanted a c section and she noted it down as well as referring me to the anaesthetists due to my health conditions.

I was consultant led and no one questioned it. My obstetrician also checked what I wanted to happen in the event I went into labour before my section date and I said I still wanted a section and he noted it down.

I had an emergency c section 1st then requested one for my 2nd. I had a midwife and a dr suggest trying vbac as 6 years had passed but I stuck to my guns and they didn’t push the issue. I had such a bad time the 1st time round that I didn’t want to risk it again.