To feel weirded out when people ask me personal questions

Perhaps if they objected to your asking where their children were going to school you could have got out of it by saying something like “it’s just I’ve heard great things about (school name)” or “We’re wondering whether to move James for key stage 2 so I’m trying to find out what
other parents think of the schools round here”.
However, compared to the person who
is now badgering you for information, your question all those years ago was fine!

So I don’t think it’s weird to ask what school/ we’re about children who your children interact with live. I get on the first day you met someone it’s weird. But my son plays in lots of sports and as parents we discuss schools, areas we live etc it’s completely normal.

i tend to ask personal questions. I don’t mean to upset anyone. Socially I’m a bit awkward and I think my brain can’t keep pace with my mouth. I don’t really care where people live/work etc and don’t mind if they don’t want to share with me.
I find it hard to make conversation and go for generic questions and probably take too long to process their response and realise they are offended.
I think probably this person isn’t massively invested in your answers. They are probably just trying to be friendly. It helps to know a bit about someone if you are building a friendship but if you are not interested in being friends then I can see it would feel intrusive.
i wouldn’t worry too much. Their intentions are most likely good.

Nothing wrong with asking where their kids go to school in the context you were in.
Also nothing wrong with the woman asking the questions she is doing, she’s trying to form a connection and possible friendship with you.
No wonder adults find it hard to make new friendships if everyone is so guarded all the time. I’m not saying divulge your personal medical history, your finical status and the ins and outs of everything but from what your have said they are relatively normal conversational questions.

I would never have considered this sort of thing weird! I ask other mums all the time whereabouts they live if I find out we live in the same town or I ask what school or nursery their children go to. They've always answered willingly and if someone had an issue I would honestly be very shocked as to me it's just conversation between mums. But I can see why your experience has made you overthink. Are you genuinely uncomfortable with these questions or do you think you should be uncomfortable because someone else has previously said that? Either way this woman clearly has no social skills and can't take a hint which is annoying!

I’m also from there, so know that that question can be loaded - never known it anywhere else though (maybe N. Ireland?).

I’m frequently asked which school my children go to and often ask others too (no longer live in or around Glasgow and I am not in any way religious). To me, this is a perfectly normal question - I think that original woman has given you a bit of a complex.

I dont think its weird asking about schools. Ive asked before when my dd is getting along well with someone new as could be the same school or we might know someone at another school and can extend out friendship/play dates.
Likewise ive been asked by others and had other type of people like doctors, nurses, random mature ladies ect. As they have grandchildren.
If someone asks you something you dont want to answer then just say that. You dont have to give reasons and clearly in my opinion if you dont feel comfortable answering then they are not someone you want to befriend so no harm if they take offence to it.
Im probably an over sharer, but i enjoy learning about people, making aquaintences and feel i can make good judgements as to who im talking to

I don't see anything wrong with the woman finding "connections" to you as she's obviously familiar with your home town and thinks she might know people you know. I think she's just being friendly.
Is there something in particular you are worried she may find out that's embarrassing or too personal to you?

It might be also how she is asking the questions, rather than the questions themselves that is raising your guard up - to quote another poster, "the devil is in the details" 😄

Well where I live (west of Scotland) in some areas questions about what school you go to are, for some, loaded. What it actually means is ‘are you Catholic or Protestant?’ a bit like ‘do you support Rangers or Celtic’. So it can seem rude/full of other meaning to ask here.

Jyst continue to give vague answers. It is rude and weird.

So she's chatted with you and remembered something you said and then she's interested enough in you as a person to follow that up when she next sees you. I don't think that's odd at all. I think it shows she likes you as a person and is interested in getting to know you and is trying to find something mutual you can chat about. I don't know why you're so weird and defensive about it. I don't really like this mumsnet phrase but you sound like hard work op.

Asking which school kids go to seems a perfectly normal question in the context of chat at a kids class so the answers from 9 years ago seem weird!

In your current situation the other mum seems to be annoyingly pushy but also, if you just give a really vague answer answer when asked what school your kids are at I can see how she would keep following you down that rabbit hole of trying to get you to say the school name.

I also suspect what you are classing as “really intense questions” could also be innocuous chat. She asks where you live, you say Avenue B, she says my mate Dave lives there do you know him? Or is it more than that?

There is nothing wrong. You just havent found your group yet. In fact: this is awkward all round. A lot of these social interactions are B. S. Anyway , youre just looking for a way to get you through the day. Try not to read too much into it. These people will forget you exist in five minutes This was a nut I was forever trying to crack. Trying to give my life ' meaning' while trying to socialise my child; all the while not realising the good ' friend' I hung out with had designs on my husband. ( But denied, denied, denied) Ih well she must have had something did not have . But after the dust settled and I gave up. He realised it was the most expensive $π@& he ever had and even texted me that it was the biggest mistake of his life and for sure it was because theres a resentment that lingers.

Ref the original swimming one, I asked exactly that today & I'd hope it wasn't odd, my little kid & her little kid post swimming lesson mucking about in the showers, they seem friendly & it's not a kid I recognise, so I ask the mum where does your one go to school as I don't know if they know each other from there.

A perfectly civil & normal conversion occurs, surely how the world should work?

You have to stop with the hints and be direct. Nothing wrong with saying “I am not comfortable in giving out personal details” and “I don’t recall people you mention and I would be grateful if you don’t share my name with your circle of friends”. If that doesn’t help you speak to the class facilitator because this woman has no business sharing your personal information with every Tom, Dick and Harry in your home town.

It’s not a weird question at all. It’s perfectly normal. The woman was weird being aggressive with you when you asked the question.

I wouldn’t ask someone’s street but I would ask area to see how far they’ve come across town.

@persistentyes to be fair same as @FourLeggedBuckers it could have been a zombie resurrected thread so might not have been that long ago for me

It isn't weird to ask what school dc go to, if you are chatting to other parents at a children's activity.

Bit odd to still be accompanying them to activities at 13 / 14 / 15 years of age though.

To specifically answer your question, if you think someone is asking you something you don't want to divulge, then just say so "I think that's a bit personal" / "I'm not going to give out that level of detail to someone I don't really know" might be a bit blunt, but if they were really interrogating you, that might be what is needed.
If they are just making conversation, then I'm not sure why so secretive.

the thread must have really impacted you @NotSorry for you to recall it nearly a decade later!

I also remember that thread, but I wonder if it was zombie-resurrected as I didn’t read it 9 years ago, I’m sure.

People are weird, OP. Your interviewer clearly needs something else to think about.

I don't think its weird to ask what school your kid is from as long as the person asking is an acquaintance with their own kids and you're from the same town (so could easily find out if they really wanted to, and they likely know all the schools in the area so they're vetting you more than anything to do with your kid)

But i know MN attracts answers with no appreciation for nuance in a given situation hence the responses on your previous.
If it was a random person i just bumped into then yeah maybe a bit odd.

But anyway - It sounds like you are emotionally scarred from your previous post and perhaps now have a bit of a complex about it all. Have you tried asking these same questions back to the lady to see how she responds? She's probably sensed you're a mystery so is even more interested now! Otherwise just be really direct and say "sorry i'm quite a private person So i don't discuss details like that" I'm sure that will be enough to dead all future conversations.

That bit I can't remember, but probably. This is AIBU after all! 😆

and the majority said the op was unreasonable to enquire what school their child attend?

wow that is impressive memory you have there!!

From memory it was exactly as OP described. She was chatting to some new acquaintances and asked what school the kids were at (I'd have probably done the same) and got blasted by the Queen Bee for asking.

how old are your children now op?