I keep putting off potty training - help!

@MoobyMoo here you go, now you can bask in the glory of being so much better than the rest of us.

It does seem like a mountain to climb when you haven't done it before. My mum's advice was to stock up on dettol which I did. I just put dd1 in knickers and kept a potty in the downstairs loo and a kids toilet seat on the toilet in the main bathroom. I took her every 20 minutes and gave loads of praise if she manged anything. We tried for 2 weeks and she just wasn't getting it aged 2.5. So I waited another 6 months, talked about it, watched a peppa pig episode on it, watched YouTube videos on cococomelon about toilet training and tried again at 3. She cracked it in 3 days and started asking to go to the toilet herself . In a week she was dry during the day and overnight. I layered her bed so a pad on her mattress protector, bought dettol and plenty of knickers and stickers. I did take a week off at a time but started around a bank holiday so I didn't need to take as may days off. Dh and I followed the same approach and were consistent.

Best of luck.

You seem to be missing my point entirely 🤔

My kids do have chocolate. We just don’t use it as a reward or a punishment; it’s a food like any other.

They shouldn’t need rewarding for using the potty. Just like they don’t need rewarding for talking or walking or doing chores.

These are things we do because they’re good for us, they help us and our family, and it’s good for children to understand their role in the home and to be part of a team helping each other out. They have a purpose. That’s the importance of intrinsic motivation.

There’s also so much value in verbal praise that is missed when we jump to material rewards.

Completely agree @Thunderpants88

I actually feel sorry for @MoobyMoo's kids for having such a condescending, judgemental, rude, 11-erife of a mother.

No you may not want validation from other Mothers but kindly do us all a favour and don’t jump in and criticise how other people have potty trained. I would get your “fake gaspy” concern if I was hitting my child but I am rewarding them for doing something well, learning a new skill and giving them something the rarely get. You utterly lost me when you said “I will judge you” How dare you. Seriously. I said it before and I will say it again, who the hell do you think you are? Your kids may not get chocolate buttons, you must be the bestist mummy in the whole world. Slow clap for you. But you’re also horrible, rude, condescending and arrogant. Good luck not passing that on to your kids because you’re happy to dish it out to total strangers on the internet from behind a keyboard. It says a lot about your character.

By definition, you can’t.

When you bribe a child to do something, you’re using external motivation. You’re not teaching them to use the potty because this is just what we do now, you’re saying “do this for me and I’ll give you a treat”.

Then of course, seperate to bribery but intertwined in this example, is that using food as rewards or punishments sets off an unhealthy attitude toward food, and it is part of the reason we have such an obesity crisis.

There is nothing wrong with chocolate, or sweets, or biscuits etc. All food in moderation.

There is something wrong in both bribery, and also using food as a treat, whether that food be chocolate or carrot.

@MoobyMoo
But you can also reward a pee on the potty with a chocolate button and ALSO teach children intrinsic motivation.

This sounds like exactly how we trained our four kids.
The potty was always next to the toilet.

Very quickly they moved from using potty to preferring to use the toilet. (flush was exciting!)

What are you talking about?

Of course as adults they will take part in external motivation, just like they do at school.

That doesn’t mean you can’t teach intrinsic motivation.

@MoobyMoo
Out of curiosity, what are your children going to do when they're in a workplace that has high pressure and targets? With monetary rewards?

Many MANY big and small organisations have target driven roles and commission based earnings on top of a salary. Quarterly bonus subject to good KPIs etc.

Basically, rewarding with money (more impactful than a chocolate button..) 😂

What will they do then? 'No I can't participate because mummy said so?'

You're doing them no favours for the real world. Yet again more fluffed up gentle permissive parented kids to add to the generation.

There’s nothing wrong with a chocolate button. We eat those.

Disordered eating is using chocolate as treat food, or any food as reward/punishment.

Do you think I need validation from a handful of posters on a mumsnet thread? If you do, you might want to address why that is.

I parent my children using the latest child development research and evidence. I don’t need the backing from random strangers who haven’t bothered to do any research.

@MoobyMoo

You sound like you might have a bit of disordered eating, getting so worked up about a chocolate button.

Not one person has agreed with what you've posted.

I'd start looking at the bullshit you're posting.

Hope you've got your breathing under control now :)

Again, food should never be used as reward or punishment. Chocolate isn’t a treat. We don’t use it as a reward.

That doesn’t mean we don’t eat it 😂 I just teach my children to be intrinsically motivated.

And no, no gasping here at all the bullshit you posted.

@MoobyMoo

That was for you.

I would say have a biscuit, but you'll probably need an inhaler for that with all that gasping.

Cor, here with the sweeping assumptions today aren't you.

Where have I indicated that I bribe my children? I haven't. I was calling out your faux concern over a chocolate button.
You're probably one of those parents who thinks they have well behaved children, but they're actually pretty feral.

See, assumptions aren't nice, are they?

No need to feel sorry for my children at all. I feel for yours, I can't imagine a childhood where I don't get rewarded with a bit of chocolate. What a boring, regimented way of thinking you have. Poor kids.

Just because you were 'successful' it doesn't mean yours was the right way to do it.

Natural consequences I can tick off from my permissive parenting bingo sheet

Nope, thankfully no permissive parenting here. I can’t stand them either.

Clear boundaries, expectations and follow throughs. Natural and logical consequences. Happy, well behaved, independent children who know I mean what I say.

If you are unable to understand how that works that is a shame for you and your kids.

This is very little still OP. You have ages until Reception, don’t stress yet.

“Successful” doesn’t mean “good way to do it”. It just means you did it.

And yes, if you have to bribe your child to do what you want then I will judge you.

We were lead by our son.

We introduced a potty very early (1.5) just so he wasn’t alarmed by it when the time came.

Then when he was approx 2-2.5 each morning and before bed he would sit on the potty and made such a fuss of him if he did anything. Then we introduced sitting on the potty throughout the day and he picked it up really quickly.

He is now 3.5 and only just removed the nappies overnight but he is absolutely flying. 1 accident in 4 weeks.

I can honestly it has been completely stress free and I do believe this is because he was ready for the change and we didn’t try and force it on him when he was too young.

'Oh gosh, this is an awful way to do it. Please don’t follow this advice, OP.

For a start, bribery is a poor parenting tool and should always be avoided. You’re the parent, you don’t have to bribe your child to do anything if you’re parenting correctly. You need to be teaching intrinsic motivation.

Secondly, food should never be a reward, just like it should never be a punishment.

And thirdly, they don’t potty train by being taken to the potty every 30 minutes and making them sit. They potty train when they connect “I need a wee > I am weeing > wee goes on the potty”, and though we can prompt (no more than once every 30 minutes), we should trust they know their own body once you have the basics down.'

@MoobyMoo

Oh do fuck right off with your faux concern 'oh gosh' 😂😂😂

Another permissive parent on the site. Can sniff you lot a mile off.

Try gasping at real life horrors, you know, the real world, than over a fucking chocolate button. Knob.

When I read your thread I assumed your child was starting school , honestly I wouldn't worry too much yet if he/she is only 2.

We waited until closer to 3. I stayed at home whilst he was training , bought lots of underwear and he just wore the underwear and no clothes in the house. I put a plastic sheet on the carpet to protect the carpet. There was many wee accidents on day 1 and 2, but by say 3 he was using the potty and that was it.

Give over 😂

I hope your boss doesn’t bribe you to work with financial rewards!

Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? If you WANT to share YOUR experience and wisdom go right ahead but don’t you dare disparage how I have successfully done it. Another “superior” Mum on here with her “oh gosh” “awful”. Get clean back in your lane.