Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Controlling for being angry at DH using oven

832 replies

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:32

Dh likes to eat healthily which means he never fries any food. Even the 1 cal spray is not acceptable. Fine.

But DH knows I’m very funny about the heat. Hate it and do very well to keep a cool house. I’m the person who goes around closing curtains, opening windows at the optimal time to keep things cool.

Just got off a work call to a sauna downstairs. DH has made himself a fry up (chicken sausages, egg, mushrooms, tomatoes). The kitchen is reading 26c - it was 22.5c when I looked at around 12 pm.

I told dh that this was really selfish behaviour. And now I’ve been called controlling.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Babycakes39 · 30/07/2024 19:19

I'm in hospital watching my dad die. In the grand scheme of things you're being ridiculous. He's a grown man who is allowed to cook and eat in his own home.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 30/07/2024 19:18

Why do you own an oven? Are hot meals only allowed in your house Dec - Feb? Once the temperature drops below a certain level?

If you like a cool house then a range is completely the wrong option for you. Get rid and get in a standard oven.

Lovely summer days and you have curtains closed and scolding your husband for using the kitchen. ?? Yes, you are controlling. Very much so.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 30/07/2024 19:17

Did you not say dh never has fried food????

somanynamesbynow · 30/07/2024 19:14

A/C units eat energy!!!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/07/2024 19:12

Also your use of language is very dramatic - “a sauna” “sweltering” and “scalding”. It “hit” 29 degrees - it’s not 40 degrees or something.

“Running around” and “throwing” frozen towels on the dogs - so dramatic. The dogs don’t even sound like they want the cold towels

sandyhappypeople · 30/07/2024 19:12

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:40

We have an extra wide range and the kitchen is sweltering now.

This is where you are being extremely unreasonable.. if you've got an extra wide range in a presumably large kitchen, then just buy a bloody air conditioning unit.

They are £250 and you can put it anywhere in the house, we've got three dogs and a small child and would never go back to not having one now, I can't believe you'd have a go at him for daring to cook food in his own house, rather then find a cheap solution to your cooling problem, you ARE controlling.

Sahara123 · 30/07/2024 19:10

BitOutOfPractice · 30/07/2024 17:40

Yanbu OP. I have just filed for a legal separation from dp because he came in from work all hot from walking home and insisted on giving me a kiss which made my inner core temperature rise by 0.25%. Bastard.

Im now lying in a chest freezer with a husky to recover.

Edited

🤣🤣🤣

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 30/07/2024 19:10

OP: Am I being controlling?
94%: Yes. Yes you are.
OP: I'm not.
94%: 🙄

RampantIvy · 30/07/2024 19:09

Blimey, I have never read such a hysterical over reaction to a fairly warm kitchen. It was 26 degrees not 46 degrees!

@SharpOliveHam why couldn't you just shut the door to the kitchen to prevent the heat entering the rest of the house?

Buy him a barbecue.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/07/2024 19:07

I’m pretty sure you don’t have throw frozen blankets on the dogs - sounds ridiculous.

It’s not even that hot at the moment. How do people and dogs survive in countries that are actually hot?

He’s entitled to cook himself food in his own home.

You sound obsessive re the temperature and very controlling.

And it’s very rare that I agree with the male partner on here.

incywincyspidery · 30/07/2024 19:06

So you wanted a cool kitchen and DH wanted a fry up. But what makes him selfish and you not? If you believe he is selfish for using the oven, you must surely also concede that you are selfish for demanding he only eat cold food.

Greenlittecat · 30/07/2024 19:05

Does anyone else really fancy a fry up now? 😅

YABU.

BoredAuditor · 30/07/2024 19:05

I have a feeling this is more of a DH "general problem" rather than a specific "DH put the oven on in this heat problem".

Do you not get on generally? In which case you'll always find him irritating.

Crazycrazylady · 30/07/2024 19:03

Christ op. You just see this isn't normal behaviour. It sounds very much as you have some obsessive behaviours around temperature and the fear or being too warm.
Someone using the oven in their own kitchen is perfectly std behaviour and honestly If my husband called me selfish for cooking a meal in my own kitchen I would absolutely tell him what to go.

SeeSeeRider · 30/07/2024 19:01

willWillSmithsmith · 30/07/2024 17:34

Well it seems I no longer have to worry about expensively heating my house in the winter, I’ll just make a fry up.

Show quote history

I don't think I'd like a 'ham sad'. It sounds like it would make me miserable.

Lifeofthepartay · 30/07/2024 18:59

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:37

Opening windows does absolutely no good. My house is or was cooler than outside.

So you asked for opinions and everyone says you are unreasonable and giving you some solutions but you are still arguing 🤣. I feel for your husband, if he cant even use his own kitchen.

Fluffytoebeanz · 30/07/2024 18:58

Very controlling, but if him using the oven is a problem get an air fryer.

MissConductUS · 30/07/2024 18:57

Get a couple of window aircon units. Pick two rooms to put them in. Problem solved. Why haven't you considered this?

YABU and stubborn as well.

PerfectTravelTote · 30/07/2024 18:56

1 Cal spray is not healthy .

"Frylight is made up of oil, water, lecithins (emulsifier), xanthan gum (thickener), natural flavouring"

On this and on every other point, reason is on your husbands side.

GingerPirate · 30/07/2024 18:56

Ihopeithinkiknow · 30/07/2024 17:04

You ever heard of chocolate Labradors? I haven't read the whole post but I will be upset if someone else has already said this shit joke lol

Show quote history

Never heard of this 😁
It actually reminded me of last Christmas, when the famous store had a "treat" for kids on sale, pink hot chocolate with melting head of Percy the pig. I'm 45 and found it quite creepy! 😳

LoobyJoo · 30/07/2024 18:52

Bad crank

RedPoster · 30/07/2024 18:52

Buy an air fryer. Can cook all that in one, less heat, less electric, no oil if you don’t want (although the mushrooms go a bit wrinkly).Also, if this is real and I’m doubting everything currently, YABVU.

TheBishopIsKillingMe · 30/07/2024 18:50

I am in Spain. It’s boiling. We cook here every day 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tulip2478 · 30/07/2024 18:44

OP you sound very difficult to live with and tbh yes controlling if this is an ongoing pattern. Are you menopausal, is that why you have a huge aversion to heat? I bet your husband also hates many things you do but marriage is about compromise and forgiving each others fault. I think you need to let it go and apologise

Flamingo68 · 30/07/2024 18:43

Is this a troll post?