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AIBU?

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Original poster

Controlling for being angry at DH using oven

832 replies

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:32

Dh likes to eat healthily which means he never fries any food. Even the 1 cal spray is not acceptable. Fine.

But DH knows I’m very funny about the heat. Hate it and do very well to keep a cool house. I’m the person who goes around closing curtains, opening windows at the optimal time to keep things cool.

Just got off a work call to a sauna downstairs. DH has made himself a fry up (chicken sausages, egg, mushrooms, tomatoes). The kitchen is reading 26c - it was 22.5c when I looked at around 12 pm.

I told dh that this was really selfish behaviour. And now I’ve been called controlling.

AIBU?

OP posts:
FacingTheWall · 30/07/2024 13:44

Having the oven on for 30 minutes max will not make any difference to the whole house, unless he’s got the oven door open! You’re massively overreacting and it’s likely the house has got warmer because, well, the temperature goes up as the day goes on, until around 4pm!

TonyeKnausgaard · 30/07/2024 13:43

CelesteCunningham · 30/07/2024 13:43

Your fixation with the temperature has impacted the entire household.

Are you like this with other things?

Show quote history

Yes, exactly! Rather an increase in temperature than an increase in tension.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2024 13:43

Are you aware that dogs don't melt?

Worrieditsamistake · 30/07/2024 13:43

I'll be your lone voice of sympathy, OP!

We absolutely avoid using the oven on what is literally just a handful of days over the summer when it is actually properly hot. It makes a huge difference to the temperature of the whole house (especially the kitchen, obviously) and it is very difficult to disipate the heat once it has built up.

DH and I are both in agreement though so it's a non issue.

sprigatito · 30/07/2024 13:43

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:39

I had a ham sad for lunch precisely so I didn’t heat up house.

Im the one running around throwing frozen cold towels on dogs.

This is absolutely bonkers, OP. Do you seriously feel entitled to tell your husband - and the co-owner of the house - that he must only eat cold food in hot weather? He can't cook a meal in his own kitchen?

And stop "running around throwing frozen towels over the dogs", you loon! Buy a cool mat, put plenty of fresh water out and chill your beans before you give yourself an aneurysm.

CelesteCunningham · 30/07/2024 13:43

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:41

I’m not telling him he can’t use it but I’m calling him out on being selfish. His meal has impacted the entire household.

Your fixation with the temperature has impacted the entire household.

Are you like this with other things?

Original poster
SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:42

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 30/07/2024 13:41

Why are you throwing frozen cold towels on the dogs?

Great you had a ham salad? What’s your point?

Show quote history

Yes I am placing towels I’ve cooled in the freeze on my dogs who won’t lie on cooling mats. Later on I will be the one getting their paddling pools out. Not dh.

OP posts:
MagneticSquirrel · 30/07/2024 13:42

It’s far too hot too open the windows if it’s 22C indoors, windows open only work when it’s cooler outside than inside.

If it’s 28C outdoors and now 26C indoors due to oven being on there is nothing anyone can do now, house is stuck at that temperature until it cools overnight. Fans just blow air around and opening windows will make it worse.

Using the oven during the middle of the day when it’s forecast to be 30C outside is unacceptable. Trying to keep a house cool
for self and pets is not controlling - it’s sensible!

Cas112 · 30/07/2024 13:42

Absolutely controlling

You need help, monitoring temperatures as an when your upstairs/downstairs and relating to who's using what appliance is insane, really insane and unfortunate for your husband

Hoppinggreen · 30/07/2024 13:42

I get very hot and it makes me grumpy but I would never ban anyone from using the cooker.
In any case there is something very wrong with yoru house and/or ventilation if cooking a meal makes that much difference to the temperature.
I have a very floofy dog who hates the heat and I am not chucking frozen towels at him, if he over heats (vey rare) then cold water on his paws seems to work

CatamaranViper · 30/07/2024 13:42

Does he not get a say in his own home? Your wants and needs come before his? The dogs even come before him.
He's not even allowed to use household appliances without permission.
If I were him, I'd be gone.

Rewis · 30/07/2024 13:42

I think people should be allowed to use their own kitchen appliances. I also doubt a fry up affects the temperature of the house 4c. Get him an airfryer.

TonyeKnausgaard · 30/07/2024 13:42

Yes, you are being controlling.

I appreciate it's frustrating living in a house that is very well insulated - mine is the same. Opening the windows makes no odds. But banning hot food preparation is extreme.

Applecidervinegar641 · 30/07/2024 13:41

Sorry op, I hate the heat, but this is way over the top. I think you need to apologise to your dh and maybe buy him an air fryer?

loropianalover · 30/07/2024 13:41

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:40

We have an extra wide range and the kitchen is sweltering now.

And are you locked into the kitchen for some reason? Go into another room.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 30/07/2024 13:41

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:39

I had a ham sad for lunch precisely so I didn’t heat up house.

Im the one running around throwing frozen cold towels on dogs.

Assume your ham in that delicious sounding “ham sad” came out of a fridge. Well guess what, that fridge stays cold by heating the air around it. For the love of god turn it off !!!

Original poster
SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:41

I’m not telling him he can’t use it but I’m calling him out on being selfish. His meal has impacted the entire household.

OP posts:
Baddaybigcloud · 30/07/2024 13:41

Glad I’m not married to you 😂

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 30/07/2024 13:41

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:39

I had a ham sad for lunch precisely so I didn’t heat up house.

Im the one running around throwing frozen cold towels on dogs.

Why are you throwing frozen cold towels on the dogs?

Great you had a ham salad? What’s your point?

Changingplace · 30/07/2024 13:41

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:40

We have an extra wide range and the kitchen is sweltering now.

Leave the room then?

MathiasBroucek · 30/07/2024 13:40

Is the dog only allowed in the kitchen? From your replies, I think you are seeking validation rather than views as people all think you are acting unreasonably and yet you keep putting your view over...

Anonym00se · 30/07/2024 13:40

SharpOliveHam · 30/07/2024 13:39

I had a ham sad for lunch precisely so I didn’t heat up house.

Im the one running around throwing frozen cold towels on dogs.

Yeah, I don’t think a dog needs a frozen towel in mid-twenties heat.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2024 13:40

Buy a window aircon unit and get a grip.

CelesteCunningham · 30/07/2024 13:40

You are both hugely controlling and hugely overreacting to the house being warm on a warm day.

Changingplace · 30/07/2024 13:40

Don’t be silly, of course he’s entitled to cook himself a meal in his own kitchen,you’re being ridiculous.