Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel shocked about this comment from one woman about another.

55 replies

PassingStranger · 30/07/2024 10:52

I was party to a conversation the other week.. one woman was talking to another woman about the way another woman was dressed. Who was known to her. She then went on to say she told me she'd been raped.
Woman 2 says it's not surprising the way she was dressed.
I was shocked to think woman 2 could say that.
A woman should be able to wear what she wants.

I was taken aback and couldn't find my voice to say something. I wish I had. But by the time I'd thought of what I wanted yo say the conversation had moved on. I didn't really wish to get into conversations like that either. Very heavy.

My point is though, who would have thought a woman would say that and imply a woman was raped because of what she was wearing?

Are alot of women like this?
First time I'd heard it.

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 30/07/2024 11:12

PassingStranger · 30/07/2024 11:07

Not not heard it before about the rape comment and what she's wearing fom a woman.

Saying something dosent undo the fact it's been said either.
Think I was shocked at what I'd heard.

Show quote history

I have heard so much worse that I'm also surprised you're shocked. I remember once a colleague saying that she hoped a woman she doesn't like gets raped. I've heard a woman say that her friend can't have been raped as she's not attractive enough. I've heard a woman blame a woman for being raped because she went out at night. And that's just rape, never mind appearance.

ETA and #metoo comments about women deserving what they got from going to Weinstein's room.

Original poster
PassingStranger · 30/07/2024 11:07

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/07/2024 10:58

Women constantly scrutinise and criticise other women's clothes. Fur coat , no knickers. Mutton dressed as lamb - these are phrases used by women about women. I actually find it more shocking that you don't realise it happens. Don't even get me started on the comments about what young girls wear and the criticism and slut shaming. If you are viewing women by what they are wearing then well she's asking for it is just on the same lines.

Edited for spelling error

Edited

Not not heard it before about the rape comment and what she's wearing fom a woman.

Saying something dosent undo the fact it's been said either.
Think I was shocked at what I'd heard.

OP posts:
BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/07/2024 10:58

Women constantly scrutinise and criticise other women's clothes. Fur coat , no knickers. Mutton dressed as lamb - these are phrases used by women about women. I actually find it more shocking that you don't realise it happens. Don't even get me started on the comments about what young girls wear and the criticism and slut shaming. If you are viewing women by what they are wearing then well she's asking for it is just on the same lines.

Edited for spelling error

cupcaske123 · 30/07/2024 10:58

I would have said something. Unfortunately there's lot of internalised misogyny around.

DaisyChain505 · 30/07/2024 10:54

A woman should be able to walk down the street naked and still not be raped or touched!

tell this small minded woman to have a look at the video online of the rape survivor who’s held an art exhibit that contained the outfits of dozen of rape victims from the time of their assault. It ranges from wedding dresses to pyjamas and just proves the point it doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing it is NEVER an excuse for assaulting another human being.

Swipe left for the next trending thread